


Call It Anything But Love

by erisgregory



Series: Dalton Reform Academy [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Badboy!Kurt, Dalton Academy, Drama, M/M, Nerd!Blaine, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-29
Updated: 2012-11-29
Packaged: 2017-11-19 20:21:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 72,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/577270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erisgregory/pseuds/erisgregory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Blaine Anderson has lost his parents, and his grandfather refuses to take care of a gay teenage boy, Blaine is shipped to Dalton Reform Academy, where students are dropped off and for the most part forgotten. When he runs into Kurt Hummel, the resident badboy with a tumultuous past, things get tangled and messy as they try to fall in anything but love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Schools and Long Hallways

**Author's Note:**

> Co-authored by the talented [lonniek](http://www.scarvesandcoffee.net/viewuser.php?uid=4620)

Dalton hallways were too complicated, Blaine decided as he walked quickly down the hall, trying in vain to find the English buildings. He was already five minutes late because he’d had to go to the administrator’s office to get a map and his transfer papers for his teachers to sign. That wouldn’t have been such a big deal if Blaine hadn’t gotten lost on the way to the administration building.

He turned right, looked down at his map, then back up at the expanse of hallway in front of him. He rotated the map and then sighed. Then, something clicked and he saw the staircase that was on the map slightly to his left. With a breath of relief, he started jogging at it lightly, the sole of his shoes clicking against the marble hallway. Finally, there it was. At least, that’s what he thought. The classroom should have been the third one on the left, room 14A, and Blaine pushed up his glasses absently with the knuckle of his thumb and continued walking, pulling the sheet of paper for his teacher to sign out of his notebook.

However, he’d failed to account for the fact that there was something very solid in his path about three steps later. He hit the person solidly in the chest, and his notebook fell and sent loose leaf paper scattering across the ground. “Oh, my goodness. I am so sorry. I didn’t see you there. I was just looking for the English classroom.” The apology and explanation continued to bubble from Blaine’s mouth as he dropped to his knees to pick up the dropped papers. “Long story short, I’m trying to find room 14A,” he finished as he pushed himself up from the ground and tucked his notebook away.

Kurt was late for English, not that he could care less. The teacher was always on him about one thing or another. Last week it had been the state of his uniform, which for the record was flawless. Kurt might not care about many things, but if he was going to have to wear that godforsaken blazer then he was damn sure going to look good in it. Yesterday it had been his posture of all things. He’d even tried sticking Kurt with extra work but Kurt just tossed it in the trash. So today Kurt was wandering the halls for as long as he could get away with. Eventually someone would come along and enforce the rules but until that happened he wasn’t going in.

Kurt was winding his way through the empty halls and had just turned the corner when someone ran right into him and nearly knocked him down. He pulled his hand back automatically to slug whoever this was but felt it drop back down. Kurt was confused because the boy in front of him was babbling this ridiculous apology like he was Miss Manners and all Kurt wanted him to do was get the fuck out of the way. Someone was probably going to hear him and come to see what was going on and then Kurt was going to be escorted off to class. What was worse was that the guy was actually asking him for directions. Kurt could feel his mouth opening and closing a few times as his brain tried to play catch up to the situation.

Kurt waited until he was sure Miss Manners wasn’t going to say anything else, and then he spoke, his voice pitched low and threatening. “I don’t give a fuck what you’re trying to do or where you’re trying to go. What you’re going to do is stay the hell out of my way.” He gave the guy a once over, his eyes filled with disdain, and then he stepped pointedly around him without another word and left.


	2. The Idea of Friendship

Oh. Blaine watched as the boy stormed down the hall. His face was frozen in a half-smile from where he’d tried to be friendly and apologetic for bumping into him, but it wouldn’t stick. He’d only been in this school for not but twenty five minutes, and already, there was someone who was seemingly out to get him. After a moment, Blaine blinked himself back to consciousness and pulled his glasses off. He rubbed them on his polo shirt, then put them back on before whipping out the map again. He realized that he’d been walking the wrong way from the staircase, and turned around, trying to put the mystery of the rude stranger behind him.

Seven minutes and a hall monitor later, Blaine had finally found his way to room 14A. He was thankful for the fact that his English class was an hour and a half long, because he was at least fifteen minutes late to class. Blaine opened the door as quietly as he could, but the hinges creaked, and he found himself attempting to shrink back into the door frame as he walked into the classroom to the gaze of ten or fifteen male students. The teacher stopped her lecture and looked at Blaine expectantly, so he rushed to produce his transfer slip for her to sign. “I’m Blaine Anderson,” he murmured to the teacher, squeezing the trap of his bag until the teacher handed him back his slip and pointed to a seat on the left hand side of the classroom toward the back. Blaine sighed. He’d have to get to class early to get a seat in the front next time.

When he sat down, the classroom seemed to return to normal. The teacher was talking about the many themes in Edgar Allen Poe’s Telltale Heart, and Blaine pulled out his notebook, scribbling down what the teacher was saying as she spoke. He nodded softly when she made a point he agreed with, and even managed to answer a question correctly when she’d called on him, earning him a soft smile of approval, like he’d passed one of her tests. Only then did he let himself look up from his note-taking and glance around. Many of the boys weren’t paying attention, bored and staring off into space, as if they couldn’t care less about the lesson. The few that were paying attention were writing in their books, something that made Blaine cringe. He’d gotten about halfway around the room when the door hinges squeaked again, and Blaine froze. It was the boy from the hallway, and he looked none too happy, being practically carried in by what Blaine could only assume to be another teacher.  
Oh, did this boy scream trouble.

Eventually it happened as it always did. Another teacher came along and found Kurt in the hall without a pass. He didn’t put up much of a fight at that point. Anyhow he did in fact have work he could turn in. Not that he would admit that in a thousand years. No. He let all his friends think he just barely got by like the rest of them, but in truth he kept hold of his A average like it was a lifeline. It was really. Maybe the other guys had other options, came from money or whatever, but Kurt understood, even from a young age, that good grades were the ticket out. So he made it to class often enough to get assignments and take tests and that’s why, he suspected, he was never actually expelled.

So with an hour left to the class he allowed Mr. Kline to haul him in by the collar as was his duty and Kurt just smirked at the teacher before taking a seat in the back. “You can see me after school”, the teacher said absently as he sat. Kurt would get out of detention though, because it was Warbler practice today and they were given so much slack it wasn’t funny, except it was. He was just grinning to himself about this very thing when he realized that he was looking directly at the back of that kid that had crashed into him in the hall. Oh hell. Not this guy again. He groaned inwardly as his eyes took time taking in the precisely gelled hair and the perfect line of his hair cut over the back of his collar. Miss Manners even seemed to be taking notes or something. He wouldn’t last around here, Kurt thought. No, he stuck out like the sore thumb he was and there was just something about him that was irritating, even at this distance.

David seemed to have noticed him too because he was making faces and crude gestures toward the boy and snickering not five minutes later. Kurt just chuckled. He couldn’t wait to tell everyone what a loser this guy was. For now he satisfied himself with throwing a wad of paper at the back of Mr. Perfect Hair’s head and then feigning innocence when the teacher looked his way. David was trying to control his laughter and Kurt was feeling much better about the whole day in general. It could be fun to teach the new kid about the pecking order around here.

As the troublemaker got settled into his seat, Blaine noticed that he had friends. He turned his head a fraction of an inch to try to see how many were in his posse, but was stopped by a nagging feeling that making eye-contact with them, accidental or otherwise, was probably not a smart idea. Instead, he turned to face forward again and started up his notes.

That was when he felt it. Blaine tried to keep his face neutral and passive as he felt the sharp edges of paper hit the back of his head and tumble down onto the chair. He leaned forward just far enough to pick up the piece of paper and held it in his hand. Apparently, accidentally running into people in hallways at this school was cause for high school level warfare. Blaine set the piece of paper at the corner of his desk and tried to ignore the pulling feeling of discomfort in the pit of his stomach. He was going to do good things at this school, he was sure of it. He just had to find a way to avoid upsetting people.

Slowly, he started to formulate a plan. What if he went up to the boy after class and sincerely apologized for bumping into him? The more he thought about it, the more of a good idea it started to sound like. Sure, they’d gotten off on the wrong foot, but if Blaine introduced himself and apologized and tried to make friends, then surely he could avoid this from happening again. That put a smile on his face as he jotted down another note from the teacher and flipped the pages in his book to keep up. Everyone had the potential to be a friend. Right?

Kurt managed to hit Blaine once more before class was over and David had been called out twice for disrupting class which was hilarious because Kurt was the one doing it. For his part Blaine just ignored him, but this didn’t bother Kurt in the least. If anything it was making Kurt concoct other ways to draw a reaction out of him. He was in the middle of writing what he believed was a very interesting poem about hair gel and helmet hair when the bell rang signaling their dismissal. He tucked the note away for tomorrow with a wicked grin. Immediately David was by his side.

“Holy hair gel Batman!” David said, not too softly.

“Oh you have no idea!” Kurt replied as they made their way toward the door.

The teacher raised an eyebrow as the boys walked by, but Kurt just waved goodbye to him in a completely overzealous manner.

Blaine managed to get through the entire class period without saying anything about the paper ball, even when a second on had joined it. He’d simply waited in silence, his plan to make friends with the boy only getting stronger. He just wanted this to stop, to have an ally, or something at this school, and he figured that the one surefire way to do it was to try to make friends with him.  
When class was over, Blaine packed up his things in a hurry, both because he wanted to make his move, and because he had biology next period and had no idea where the science labs were. He made sure that he had his transfer slip in his blazer pocket for next period and shot out of his seat.

He heard the comments about his hair, but he said nothing. He’d heard a couple of those comments before, in his other school, but they’d stopped when they realized that Blaine wasn’t a bad person. Plus, he hadn’t exactly been the person of the hour, what with running into one of his friends in the morning. “Hey, wait,” he called out softly as he followed after the trio. He started to put his hand out to touch him, then thought better of it and stopped. “Um,” he started when he thought he had the ringleader’s attention. “I’m really sorry for bumping into you earlier this morning. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m thinking we got off on the wrong foot or something. My name’s Blaine Anderson. I’m new here, which is why I was such a mess this morning. But, yeah, I just wanted to let you know that I really didn’t mean to run into you. I was hoping maybe we could, I don’t know, talk or something.” Blaine raised a hand out, hoping for the other boy to take it, shake it, or something.

Kurt could feel his eyebrows rising of their own accord and his mouth falling open in shock at the kid as he turned around. David was already snickering but Kurt shot him a look to shut up. He wanted to hear everything the little snot was saying. It was actually kind of incredible and Kurt found himself confused as to whether or not he should slam his fist into the kid’s smarmy mouth or laugh at him. Either one, seriously. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Blaine Anderson. What the actual fuck? Who even talks like that? Kurt let a smile slip across his mouth, a cruel smile.  
“Wow, did you work on that all through class?” He waited a second and then narrowed his eyes at Blaine. “Oh my god you did.” He guessed, his laughter bubbling up faster than he could stop it.

Kurt closed the distance between them and leaned down a little to get at eye level. Blaine’s eyes were too wide and way too innocent for Kurt’s liking. It sort of riled him for some reason. “Listen, Anderson.” He started. “I’m only gonna say this once. You don’t talk to me. You don’t look at me. You certainly don’t chase after me in the hall. I don’t give a shit about you or your first day jitters. Stay out of my way.” Kurt stayed close to Blaine’s face for just a second longer than was absolutely necessary and then he turned to fist bump David as the two of them walked away.

Disbelief. Incredulity. Embarrassment. They were all emotions that ran through Blaine, no doubt racing across his face through his eyes, as Kurt told him exactly how things were supposed to go. He’d seen movies where people had been this mean, but he hadn’t thought that people like this actually existed. The hurt on his face was evident as Blaine dropped his hand back to his side. He’d only wanted to apologize, make amends, maybe a friend, but it was obvious that the other boy wanted nothing to do with him.

Hurt gave way to stunned silence as he was told off, only moving once to give a jerky nod to show that he understood what was being said to him. Blaine blinked, and then held his breath when there was silence between the two of them. He’d never had his face this close to another boy’s before, and instead of being intimate like Blaine had hoped someone being this far into his personal space would be, it was nerve-wracking, and Blaine felt his heart sink in his chest when the boy and his friend walked away, leaving Blaine scatter-brained and alone. A bell rang somewhere, and Blaine forced himself to pull out the map and go to his next class.

While he was walking, a very familiar sensation started to bubble in his chest, and it sank lower until it was a big pit in his stomach, gnawing away at him as he walked to biology, which, with the help of a student who didn’t seem so antagonistic, he’d learned was across the hall and to the left. He opened the door cautiously, eager to find that the room was still mostly empty, and he snapped a seat in the front row. Blaine, unconsciously, found himself wishing that the bully wouldn’t be in his class. Every time the door opened, Blaine’s head shot to the right, making sure that it wasn’t Kurt as he registered exactly what he was feeling: fear.


	3. History Class

He managed to make it through half of the day without having another class with the boy, but it didn’t stop him from checking around corners. Finally, it was lunch time. Blaine folded his transfer slip and tucked it into his pocket, then made his way to the cafeteria. He pulled food items onto his tray, paid, then sat at the first empty table he saw. He didn’t make eye contact with anyone, simply picking over his food. When he deemed it safe, Blaine pulled out his history textbook for next period and started to read, allowing himself to look up once. Unfortunately, that was when he realized that he’d picked a table that was within seeing distance of the boy from that morning. His heart crawled up into his throat as he tried to remain calm. Just don’t look at him. Ignore him. He’ll go away if you don’t say anything to him. It’s the cafeteria. It’s only so big. Still, something in his gut told Blaine that maybe he should have just skipped lunch today.

Kurt saw him the minute he walked in. He looked a little like a kicked puppy which made Kurt smile and elbow Wes. “That’s him.” He said as he pointed discreetly. He didn’t want anyone else in on their conversation. Not yet anyway.

“Wow, he looks like a kicked dog or something.” Wes said and Kurt laughed.

“I know right?” He watched as Blaine filled his tray and then sat at an empty table. Kurt turned to point him out to David as he sat and when Kurt glanced back over Blaine was looking his way with those wide eyes of his. Kurt felt his throat tighten for no particular reason and he narrowed his eyes at the boy before turning back to Wes who was making fun of Blaine’s insane hair. Well, at least his friends agreed with him.

“I think…I wanna have some more fun with him before the day’s out. Just to set the right mood for the rest of his time here. You know, for his own good.” Kurt said to the rest of the table. “I think I better go talk to him.” He added as he stood up slowly and arranged his face into a warm smile. “Be right back boys.” He saluted his posse before heading straight for Blaine.

“Hey Anderson.” Kurt smiled down at Blaine but didn’t pause long enough for the other boy to say anything. “I think maybe I’ve been too hard on you. I do that. I can be a bit of an ass sometimes. Anyway I just wanted to come over here and tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was rude to you in the hall before and then again in English and I’m sorry I threw your food all over you.” His hand snaked out lightening fast and pushed Blaine’s tray right into him.

“See ya later, okay?” Kurt finished with a bit of a hand flourish and a wide smile as he slowly sauntered back over to his own table. Everyone was in stitches, laughing and high fiving. Kurt at back down thinking he ought to feel more satisfied by the whole thing but he just wasn’t. He didn’t bother letting on though, he just kept his smile frozen in place and went back to talking with his friends.

Blaine was only half picking at his food, focused more on getting ahead in his history reading. He only looked up from his book every few pages to make sure that he was actually eating something. Every now and again, his eyes would dart up to where the posse of boys sat, and his heart beat a little bit faster every time he did, fear creeping up his spine until he forced himself to look down and start reading again.

When he thought he heard the bully’s voice, he jumped in his seat, gripping tighter to the edge of his history book. He looked up, afraid that he was imagining things, and even more terrified when he wasn’t. He shrank back visibly from the other boy, his breath catching in his throat as he waited. And then what came was completely different than what he was expecting. Blaine started to say hi, but then he was cut off by an apology. Blaine smiled softly, the very corners of his mouth turning upward. Maybe he had actually gotten through to the other boy, and it was okay.

“Oh no, don’t wo—” Blaine gasped as his lunch was upturned onto his blazer and slipped down his shirt, food seeping into his tie and dropping onto his khakis. He froze, watching the kid’s expression go from one of almost caring to the sneer that he seemed to wear perpetually. Blaine had no idea what exactly he’d done to deserve this: he didn’t even know the other boy’s name, much less his problem. Stiffly, he closed his history book and put it away. Then, he stood, and, holding his bag at arms’ length, walked out of the cafeteria, leaving his tray and food on the table. He walked slowly upstairs to his dorm room, thinking the whole walk about how stupid it had been to assume that the bully wanted anything to do with him. When he changed, he grabbed the transfer slip from his sullied blazer and stuffed it into the pocket of his new uniform. Then, he practically ran to get to his next class, making sure that he didn’t see anybody on the way. He grabbed the first seat he could in the front, then relaxed. He was the first one in the classroom.

“I can’t believe him,” Blaine mumbled, fidgeting. “What in the world did I do to him? I even apologized…” His head dropped, and he sighed, but his teacher walked in before Blaine had the time to let himself mope any.

Kurt tried to enjoy the rest of his lunch after Blaine was gone, and surrounded by his friends it wasn’t too terribly hard. He finished eating just as David was telling them all about his girlfriend and how she’d given him a bj on the highway and Kurt as just about to tell him to knock it off with the girlfriend crap when the bell rang and they all got up to go. Next up was History and Kurt followed along behind Wes as he replayed the look on Blaine’s face as the food ran all over him. It was pretty priceless really. It should have been a fantastic day, but it was just only so so for him. At least it was already half over.

Of course when he walked into History there was Blaine. He was changed and back to looking fairly immaculate, not even a hair out of place, sitting there on the front row. Kurt shook his head slightly as he passed to the back with Wes. He’d been tempted to sit right behind Blaine but he resisted the urge and took his usual seat and slumped back. God that kid was just everywhere.

Class started and Kurt cracked his book open but immediately got a note from Wes. It said, ‘There’s your boyfriend.’

Kurt turned around and shot Wes a look that drained the color right out of his face. Wes shrugged and grinned stupidly at him. 

‘I already hate that little shit don’t make me hate you too.’ He scrawled on the note and tossed it back to Wes.

Wes seemed to contemplate this a bit before simply scrunching the thing up and tucking it in his pocket. That was probably wise on his part. Kurt was shifting in his seat and trying not to stare daggers into the back of Blaine’s head. The thing was, he just couldn’t put his finger on why this kid annoyed him so much. Sure he’d gotten in Kurt’s way…and touched Kurt, shoved him. Nobody shoves Kurt Hummel. Still. Kurt couldn’t figure it out but he really just didn’t like him at all. Maybe he could be persuaded to leave. Now that was an intriguing idea.

Kurt let his thoughts actually drift back to history and to Martin Luther King, Jr. The teacher was going on a little long winded about it, but at least it wasn’t an entirely boring subject. He caught himself just as he was about to raise his hand to answer the question about the ‘I Have a Dream’ speech that the teacher had asked. He didn’t normally do that so he just slid his hand back like he was stretching. Blaine on the other hand clearly wanted to be called on. His ass practically wiggled in his seat as he waited for the teacher to call on someone.

“Blaine?” The teacher called on him. So predictable.

“August 28, 1963.” Blaine answered giving the correct date for the speech. His voice was so grating though. His diction so freaking perfect. Kurt was speaking out before he could stop himself.

“Don’t go getting any ideas freak, all men are not created equal.” He snickered. The teacher’s head snapped right back to him. Oops.

“See me after class Kurt Hummel.” Kurt just nodded tersely but Wes was laughing softly behind him so his mood wasn’t too bad after that.

Before class started, Blaine had started to fool himself into thinking that maybe, just maybe, he could get through the rest of the day without having to interact with the boy who was out to get him. There had to have been an explanation, but Blaine for the life of him couldn’t come up with one. He thought, though, that if he managed to avoid him for the rest of the day, he could scurry up to his room until he could try to change his schedule around.

Of course, that would have been too easy, though, to avoid torment for just a few more precious hours. Blaine watched, fear gnawing away at his stomach, as part of the posse from lunch walked into the classroom. As soon as he saw who walked in, he snapped his neck forward with so much force it almost hurt, and he refused to let himself so much as think about turning around. When class started, it was easier to forget that they were in the back of the classroom, and when the lesson got interesting, Blaine was in his element, eager to answer questions and thriving on knowledge. That was, until, he answered a question correctly.

The snide remark came when Blaine was vulnerable. He’d just answered a question and wasn’t feeling like crap for the first time in hours, and he was swiftly reminded that he was not equal to Kurt Hummel. That was his name. Somehow, it fit him. “Sir?” Blaine’s voice was quiet and low, defeated. “May I use the restroom, please?” As soon as he got a nod from the teacher, Blaine was out of his seat and out of the room in a heartbeat, thankful that the bathrooms were close. He slid into one of the stalls and leaned against the door. His mother would have known what to do, but the thought of asking her how to deal with a bully only reminded him of the fact that she wasn’t there, would never be there. Blaine took a deep breath when he felt the sting of fresh tears in his eyes, but refused to let them fall. He was in the middle of class. It was neither the time nor place for tears.

A few minutes later, Blaine opened the door to the classroom and walked quickly back over to his desk, taking up his pencil and ignoring everything but the teacher. Kurt Hummel, insults or not, did not deserve to get in the way of his grades.


	4. Dreams Are For Sleeping

Kurt sort of sleepwalked through the rest of the school day. It was a bit of a relief to go and sing at Warblers practice that afternoon. That always helped order his mind and right today his mind had been a mess. He let it all go then, he let all of the anger and aggression flow through and out in song. Kurt kept up his persona at all times, but he loved to sing and he would kick anyone’s ass that had a problem with it. Lucky for him the Warblers were pretty much badass rock stars at Dalton so no one dared to look at him funny because of it. Almost all his friends were in the Warblers. It was like fame or something. Kurt knew that once he was out of Dalton he was going to keep singing no matter where he went or what he did. It was in his soul.

He hung out for a while after practice with Wes and David in the practice room and then he made his way to his dorm to pick up his shower caddy and pj’s and head off to the showers. It was getting kind of late and curfew was coming up soon, but Kurt preferred showering late. Sure one might think an all boy’s school communal shower might be the stuff of gay teen dreams but really it was usually just more awkward than he liked. He preferred the quiet to the crowd any day.

Of course his luck seemed to have run out because as he walked in he could hear at least one shower running. He sighed softly and slipped in to another stall. He hung his bag on the hook outside and turned on the water just letting the heat seep into his skin and wash away any residual tension. Kurt was done with this shitty day. He still couldn’t figure out why it had been so bad and he’d giving up trying anyway. Eventually he was just leaning back against the tiles under the spray of the shower. His thoughts grew fuzzy as his body grew warm. Kurt pulled out his loofah and began soaping up slowly just enjoying the sound of the water as it fell all around him.

Kurt hung the loofah up on the little hook while he rinsed, running his hands over his skin to be sure the soap was gone. His hands sort of took on a life of their own after that as his right slipped along his half hard dick. Yeah, he needed this. He gripped a little tight at the base and then his eyes closed as he pulled slowly forward. Kurt let out a little breath as he began to move faster. Soon his dick was literally throbbing and his breath was coming in short little puffs. 

He fumbled around his mind for the proper image to tilt him over the edge because he wanted to cum so bad, he needed to cum. Hands on his body, red lips around his dick, the last guys perfectly round ass, none of it stuck though. Kurt let out a frustrated gasp when the image that did seem to want to stick was one of large hazel eyes with flecks of caramely gold. Fucking Blaine Anderson and his perfect face. Or whatever. Kurt was close now and being angry, even if he was only angry at himself, just got him that much closer as he jerked off under the shower spray. His hand gripped even tighter as his hips thrust forward erratically. “Unng” he huffed as he came hard over his hand. 

Kurt sagged against the wall for a minute before grabbing the shampoo and attempting to wash what he’d just done, or rather the image he’d done it to, right out of his system. When he was satisfied that he was as clean as he was going to get he turned off the water and reached over the top of the stall for his towel. He scrubbed himself all over, maybe a bit too vigorously, and then wrapped it securely around his waist. Then he stepped out and came almost face to face…rather his face to the others back, with Blaine Anderson.

At first Kurt’s plan was just to ignore him. He went stiffly to the sink and pulled out his toothbrush , but he could feel his cheeks warming and that was something that never happened to him. Yep, there in the mirror. They were so red.

Blaine was glad for the end of the day of classes. He’d heard about a singing group that met after classes were over, but Kurt Hummel had been on his mind, and all he wanted to do was hide in his room until it was safe to come out. He decided that the appropriate time was when he needed to shower, about an hour before curfew. That way, the water would be hot and there would be nobody else in the showers, which meant Blaine could shower and leave without fear of an interaction with anyone else, especially not Kurt. He wasn’t sure what wing of the dormitories he lived in, But as he jogged to the shower, Blaine made sure to move quickly, just in case.

When he was in the shower, Blaine washed his hair and let the suds run down his back, feeling curls spring free from the gel’s hold on it. He ran conditioner through them, and then washed his body, trying to rid the feeling of being afraid to go to classes from his mind. He kicked at the water pooling around his feet in the shower and felt his face grow hot. It wasn’t fair that Kurt was so mean to him. “What do I do, mom?” he whispered, and then the tears fell hot from his eyes. They blended with the shower water, and Blaine made sure that he was quiet, giving himself time to break down after a terrible first day, and time to put himself together in time for tomorrow.

Finally, the tears stopped, and Blaine rinsed the conditioner out of his hair and washed his body one last time for good measure. Then, he shut off the water and shook his head, sending water spraying from his curls. He heard the water running in another shower stall as he grabbed his towel. This would be his first experience dealing with someone else in a public shower. The water stopped, and Blaine pulled open his shower curtain and made his way over to the sink. He didn’t look behind him; he knew enough that common sense told him trying to make conversation with someone else in a bathroom could only lead to awkward situations.

Blaine pulled out his toothbrush and brushed his teeth, humming a soft song to himself. When he was done, he rinsed, spit, and then started rearranging his stuff into his shower caddy. Then, he picked up his pajamas, a pair of sweats cut off into shorts and an over-sized tee shirt, and turned around to go into the bathroom. But that was when he saw him, Kurt. His first instinct was to run and leave the bathroom as quickly as he possibly could, but his mind wasn’t keeping up with him. He was frozen, clutching his shirt in one hand and pants in the other with a blank expression painted on his face somewhere between shock and terror.

“Sorry, I’ll just—” But the words stopped coming. He remembered Kurt telling him earlier not to look at him, not to talk to him. So what now, then?

Kurt silently got to work scrubbing each and every tooth, then his tongue before he dabbed on night creme and eye moisturizer, and before he knew it he needed to be gathering up his stuff and heading out, screw changing he could do that in his room. He didn’t want to see Blaine for one second longer than was necessary. Seriously, he couldn’t escape him anywhere. It irked him. Deep down inside. 

He was tucking things away when he realized that he was literally letting this kid chase him out of the bathroom. Kurt didn’t run, ever. He faced everything head on and forced everyone in his path into some form of submission. He stopped packing his bag in haste and was about to pick up his pj’s when that stupid kid had to go and open his big mouth again.

Kurt turned to face him. They were maybe six feet apart. Kurt didn’t make any real decisions but before he knew it he was stepping toward Blaine, closing the space between them. “Really?” He said and his eyebrows perked. He was standing too close to Blaine, he had meant to ignore him and this would be the opposite of that, but Blaine had gone and shit on his rules and Kurt couldn’t just let him walk out after that. He needed to make damn sure this kid knew his place. Kurt stepped closer. Right up to Blaine and then he shoved him. Once was probably enough, Blaine stumbled, but Kurt followed him and repeated the action, shoving him back until Blaine’s back hit the wall.

He could have walked out then but instead he stepped right back into Blaine’s personal space and got down on eye level with him like he had earlier in the day. “You just don’t learn do you?” Kurt whispered. He hadn’t meant to whisper at all so his voice sounded strange to him. He was eye to eye now with Blaine and the boy’s beating heart was just below his hand. Kurt could feel his own breath hitch as he just stood there like that, so close to Blaine’s face that his features took up all of Kurt’s vision.

Kurt was going to say more, there were many fantastically cruel sentences slipping through his head but his mouth couldn’t seem to work. He tried blinking and swallowing but nothing changed. He couldn’t move. Kurt realized that he as practically pressed up against Blaine and he wasn’t sure when that had happened or why he couldn’t just move. Worse still was how he couldn’t stop staring at Blaine’s perfectly red lips so close to his own. What the fuck was going on? Kurt finally managed to pull off Blaine. Without another word or another glance toward the boy he grabbed his things and left the bathroom still wrapped in his towel.

The moment he opened his mouth, Blaine knew that he was in for trouble. He tried to shrink back as Kurt pushed him, but failed, merely stumbling backward and only just keeping himself from slipping. He tried to put his hands up, but was pushed again, and a third time, and then a fourth until he felt his shoulder blades slam into the wall. He winced and closed his eyes, his entire body trembling as his mind imagined the worst that could happen to him. All he was saying was that he was volunteering to leave the bathroom, to give it to Kurt, but to do that, he’d had to speak.

Blaine opened his eyes, surprised to find Kurt staring at him, and he was impossible close again. Involuntarily, his tongue darted between his lips, trying to prompt his brain into having something to say. But the words didn’t come. Blaine guessed that he really didn’t learn, because even when his back was against the wall and he was sure that Kurt’s fist was moments away from tugging his hair or punching him, Blaine was thinking of a way to talk himself out of the situation. Words usually worked. They always worked. Except now, apparently. He focused and took a short breath in and held it. Kurt still wasn’t hitting him, was still just staring at him. His eyes were blue, almost green in the light, and his pupils were dilated like he was looking at Blaine like something to eat. The hand that covered his heart would have felt the way that it was pounding in his chest, fear and confusion and something else that Blaine couldn’t quite put his finger on forcing his heart to pump harder and faster.

Briefly, the thought crossed his mind. He still hasn’t hit me. Maybe he won’t hit you. Blaine caught Kurt’s eyes, and they weren’t staring straight back into his. If Blaine wasn’t so sure he wasn’t, he would have sworn Kurt was looking at his…at his mouth. Maybe he’ll kiss you. The thought disappeared as soon as he’d thought it, but it was too late, he’d already had it. His eyed widened and he tried to sink into the wall. There was no way Blaine was going to let his first kiss be like this, not a chance.

And then he was gone. He was there, invading all of Blaine’s space, and then in the next second, Kurt was out of the bathroom. Blaine stayed stock still for a few minutes, still pressed up against the wall, waiting for him to come back in, to finish what he’d started and beat him senseless. But five minutes later when he wasn’t back, Blaine, shaking, pulled on his pajamas, grabbed his stuff, and sprinted back to his room. His roommate was already asleep, so Blaine got into bed as quietly as he could, turned on his bedside lamp, and started reading his biology textbook. He couldn’t focus, though, his mind returning to the bathroom, to when he swore that Kurt was not looking at his mouth because why would he do that? But why hadn’t he hit him? Nothing had happened. Nothing.

He fell asleep on his textbook, thinking about whether or not he was crazy for wondering what would happen, what he would do, if Kurt had kissed him.


	5. Book Reports

In the morning, Blaine combed and gelled his hair down and got dressed for the day. He ignored the dream he’d had last night, where Kurt had actually kissed him, and Blaine hadn’t protested. He was terrified of Kurt. Why in the hell would he want to kiss him!? He put together his book bag and went down for breakfast. This time, he was careful in what he chose to eat, making sure that if it was spilled on him, that he wouldn’t have to go change. He ate quickly and with purpose at an empty table, not stopping to look up at anyone. When breakfast was over, he pulled out his map again and made sure he knew where he was going before he went to English. When he tried to take a seat in the front, the teacher pointed at the same seat he’d been in yesterday. “Once you sit in a seat, it’s yours for the year.”

Oh. Well, that was great, except that Blaine couldn’t see the board very well, and that was the seat that was pretty much directly in front of Kurt. Sullenly, he nodded and took it, pulling out his textbook as other students started to trickle into the classroom. When Kurt comes in…He cut his mind off, feeling a flush rise to his cheeks. Blaine didn’t want to think about Kurt. All he could think about was that kissing, even in his dreams, felt good.

Kurt just couldn’t get back to his room fast enough. He was one of the rare people that had a single since his roommate transferred out midterm. As always he was grateful for the ability to shut the door on the rest of the world and just be alone. What the fuck had just happened? Obviously he knew the answer, he knew what had happened, he thought to himself. He just didn’t know why. Kurt crossed to his dresser, realizing that he’d left everything back in the bathroom and there was just no chance he was going back for them right now. He’d have to sneak in early and grab them before they disappeared.

As he dropped the towel and slid into pajama bottoms he shook his head and a short laugh escaped, bubbling up out of his throat on its own. In the time he’d been at Dalton Kurt had never had this sort of reaction to anyone, certainly not from some snot nosed uptight dick like Blaine. Of course he’d been occasionally attracted to a guy, he’d had a couple of flings and more straight guy bj’s than he cared to count, but none of them were under his skin in the matter of a few hours the way Blaine was. It made his head ache. 

He wanted to hurt Blaine though. He wanted to see him lose it. Kurt wanted to see him cry. This wasn’t at all like a crush. Kurt flopped down on his bed and threw an arm over his eyes. When no answers came he reached over and tugged the little chain on his bedside lamp and plunged his room into darkness. Even with all the recent revelation, he still had no real answers and he knew he wasn’t going to get any tonight. He was just glad he hadn’t closed those few inches and kissed Blaine earlier. That really would have screwed with the whole hating Blaine thing he had going now.

Sleep was a long time coming, and then it wasn’t peaceful or restful by any means. He didn’t remember any actual plot or order to his dreams but he did have lingering images that floated behind his still closed eyes. Blaine outside slumping over with a split lip, Blaine in the bathroom crying in a corner, Blaine in his bed panting beneath him, Blaine’s red lips wrapped around…

Kurt sat up and through the covers back, practically leaping from his bed. Okay, okay. That was when he realized that the front of his pants were wet, and oh god, sticky. Kurt was looked down, incredulous. He couldn’t even remember the last time that had happened to him. He quickly stripped out of his pants and pulled on his clothes. He would not think about it. Not even a little. This was the single strangest thing he’d ever felt and he would not think about it.

He was able to retrieve his things from the bathroom where he splashed cold water on his face and proceeded to ignore any remaining images that wanted to play through his mind. Then he was off to class, and even though he knew he would see Blaine there, he knew he had to have his game face on. There was no way he was letting on to anyone that he had any hesitation about the situation. Nothing had changed. Blaine had better stay out of his way and that was that.

Kurt made it to class just as the bell was ringing and he went directly to take his seat. He did not look once toward the boy in the seat in front of him. He trained his eyes down on his desk and did not budge an inch. This was going to work out just fine. It would. It was working out great right up until the teacher starting calling out their partners for the next book report and Blaine Anderson was assigned to Kurt Hummel. Shit, shit, shit. 

“You may move from your seats to sit with your partner. Remember, I want three pages on your analysis on the themes on the board, a summary of the book, and two pages each on how you feel the author got across his message. You’ll have the entire class period to work on this, but I suggest you find each other outside of this room.”

Blaine wanted to sink into the floor. He’d stopped taking notes for the assignment the moment he’d heard the name of his partner. He’d been praying for it to be someone, anyone else but him. Not Kurt. But of course it was, because it would have been too much like good luck for Blaine to have been paired with someone who didn’t absolutely hate him. The feeling in his stomach was definitely fear and anxiety about the fact that he wanted to leave this project with all of his body parts in tact, but there was also another, more exciting feeling thrumming just below the surface of his skin, and vaguely Blaine remembered the thought he’d had when he first woke up from his dream. Blaine bit his lip and pulled off his glasses to polish them before putting them on again. There would be no easy way to do this.

However, he had an assignment to get done, but he also had rules to follow. When one of the boys moved down to join another, Blaine got out of his seat and sat in the desk to Kurt’s left. When he sat, he pulled out a piece of paper and started writing on it. He didn’t look up at Kurt once, but when he was done writing, slipped it onto Kurt’s desk. I’m not breaking any of your rules by writing this, but it might be hard to work on this if I can’t talk to you. Then, he pulled out the book, The Great Gatsby, and wrote the themes they were supposed to be identifying and analyzing in the top corner of the first page of the book in the same small, neat script as his note. Finally, finally, he chanced a glance and sat up in his chair, looking at Kurt. Kurt hadn’t said anything to or about Blaine yet today, not that he knew of. “Please don’t hit me for talking to you,” he started. “I just want to know if I should expect to do all the work on this project or not.”

Kurt could feel his insides heating up rapidly. He watched the teacher as their assignment was outlined but he couldn’t move. He didn’t look up, he just took short breaths through his nose and tried not to let any of his confusion or worry flash across his Wes. He knew his friends were watching him to see what he would do. He shot David a quick grin and David seemed satisfied to get back to his own work.

Just then Blaine was moving to sit next to him. He took a breath and leaned back in his chair but he didn’t look over yet. He cracked his knuckles, cleared some things from his desk and fought to come up with a game plan. He was actually in the middle of trying to figure out how much his grade would drop if he blew this off when Blaine passed him a note. His hands actually had the nerve to tingle as he smoothed the paper and read it.

I’m not breaking any of your rules by writing this, but it might be hard to work on this if I can’t talk to you.

Okay. Blaine had finally listened. Of course he had chosen now to follow the rules when there was no possible way to keep it up. Kurt crumbed the note in a fist just as Blaine spoke to him. He should have been focusing on the assignment. He should have been coming up with a level response to show Blaine that he was still in control here. Instead his brain latched on to one detail and just ran with it. Blaine was implying that Kurt couldn’t do his part of the assignment. That uptight prissy little prick!

His head snapped over toward Blaine and whispered a little loudly. “Excuse me? I’m perfectly capable of holding up my part of this; I don’t need any charity from you!” He could feel his face flushing with anger as his eyes bored into Blaine’s. 

Blaine shrank back in his chair as Kurt snapped at him. He’d completely misunderstood what Blaine had been trying to do, but Blaine couldn’t figure out how to articulate that when Kurt’s eyes were paralyzing him to exactly where he was. His breath came in short, trembling gasps as he tried not to let it show that all it would take from Kurt would be one word, and he would jump and run, or try to hide. Blaine took off his glasses, which seemed to break him of his paralysis for the moment, and he focused on rubbing them over and over again, trying to think of the right words to say.

“Of course you don’t need any ch-charity from me. I was just thinking that if you didn’t want to do the report…” Blaine faltered, then figured that he was talking now, so he might as well say what he was thinking “with me…that I could just do it and then you wouldn’t have to see me or talk to me or anything and I would put both of our names on it and I wouldn’t tell anyone that I did it. I’ve read the book already, for fun. And I’d make sure you would get a good grade. Or we could, I could, you could… whatever you want to do. It was just a suggestion, but you don’t have to, I mean, you, er, well…sorry, I’ll stop talking now.” Blaine stopped rubbing at his glasses and put them back on, sliding them up the bridge of his nose with the back of the knuckle on his thumb. His hand fell into his lap with the other one, and Blaine picked at his nails, waiting for a response.

When he looked up again, Blaine wouldn’t meet Kurt’s eyes. Instead, they focused on just above his hairline, or where the note rested on his desk. He almost chuckled, reminded of the story of Medusa. But Kurt was much more attractive than Medusa, and Blaine still hadn’t turned to stone. Did you just say attractive? Blaine’s eyes widened at the thought. You’re in English class with someone who could eat you alive. Pay attention!

Kurt was listening, he really was but there was this roar in his ears, a rushing that was drowning out what Blaine was saying. Of course he got the gist of it. Right now he was just trying to figure out why his mouth didn’t seem to be working. He looked away, looked down, pulled out his own book. Anything not to keep looking into Blaine honest face. “Fine, okay.” He said waving his hand. “I get it.” He pulled out his pen and then and only then did he feel like he could look back over at Blaine. This time he just focused on the middle of Blaine’s forehead so he wouldn’t actually have to look into his eyes.

“No one does my work for me. Ever. Got it?” He asked but his voice was quiet. He didn’t wait for a response. “Let’s just figure out how to split the work for now, which means talking, for now.” He amended. Kurt figured he could worry about wanting to pummel Blaine, or whatever, another time, for now he just needed all this interaction to stop.

Remembering that he needed to save face with David he shot his friend a disgusted face before scooting his desk close to Blaine’s. Then he looked expectantly back to Blaine as he drummed his pen on his notebook, waiting. Kurt focused hard on his face, keeping it cold, keeping it protected. He knew that Blaine would only use anything he saw against him because that’s how the world worked. 

Blaine only nodded when Kurt told him that nobody else would do his work for him. He felt like a jerk for a moment, assuming that Kurt wouldn’t want to do the work, then remembered just as quickly that just yesterday, the boy had told him that he wanted nothing to do with him, and that it was fear and the need for self-preservation that had pushed him to make the offer. It seemed, for a second, at least, that he and Kurt were going to be able to work together on the project.

But that was when Blaine watched Kurt give one of his friends a look. His eyebrows knit together, and Blaine bit his lip to keep from reacting when Kurt was paying attention to him again. This changes nothing, Blaine. He still doesn’t like you, he just has to work with you. Instead of letting his feelings run across is face, he simply copied Kurt and moved his desk so that they were nearly flush. Blaine’s thigh fell lightly against Kurt’s for a brief moment, but he was pulling away from the contact so quickly that Blaine was questioning whether or not it had actually happened.

“Well, we can do this a couple of ways. We can split the themes we have to analyze and do those on our own and put them together. And I can do the summary of half of the book and you could do the other half, and then we’d just have all the work split down the middle, or we could do the whole thing together, which means we’ll probably have to meet after classes are over at some point.” For the time, Blaine forgot who he was talking to. He’d turned to his schoolwork and gotten lost in it. It was what tended to happen, especially when Blaine was reading. He tended to have a one track mind, which his father had lovingly called “educational tunnel vision.” It meant that Blaine brought home good grades without really trying, but he worked to earn the extra credit, and he always pushed the extra mile for the A+.

“I was thinking that if we worked on it together, we could each come up with our own ideas about each theme and find a way to work both of them into the paper if we had different ideas.” Blaine’s hands searched for a pen, and, finding one, began to write down the idea that was forming in his mind. When he looked up, he startled himself. He’d just gone maybe two or three minutes of straight talking without thinking about the fact that he was less than a foot of breathing space away from Kurt. “Or, if you have any ideas, you know, I’d like to hear them.”

Kurt fully intended to sit through this and listen to Blaine, he had only just agreed to do just that but Blaine’s voice was still sort of irritating and it seemed he had already thought way too much about this assignment. Also it went up in pitch, just slightly. Most people probably wouldn’t even notice it but pitch was like a second language to Kurt. Also Blaine had a thing about his diction. The more worked up he got the more emphasis he placed on his t’s particularly. Kurt rolled his shoulders and tried to focus.

Blaine had stopped talking now and was looking at him now sort of expectantly. Right. It was his turn. “So that’s acceptable.” Kurt said quickly and made to scribble some pretend notes. He thought he ought to take the lead now so that Blaine didn’t confuse the situation at any time because nothing had really changed. No, nothing was different today except that they needed each other for a time to finish this project.

“So we will meet in the library. At least once. When are you free?” Kurt couldn’t look back over there, his eyes were boring into the paper on his desk. “I mean, I’m free today. Just today.” He shifted in his seat.

As soon as Kurt told Blaine what was acceptable, he knew that his time to shine had quickly come to a close. Even though Blaine had never considered himself in control of the situation, he knew subtly that something had changed. He could feel it in the way that Kurt moved to tell Blaine where they were meeting, and how often. He started to answer when Kurt asked when he was free, but snapped his mouth shut when the offer was rescinded and replaced with Kurt’s only availability being today.

That was fine with Blaine. The second he’d become aware of Kurt’s presence again, Blaine started to feel the fear seep back into his veins. He bounced one leg up and down against the floor, keeping a quick beat with the ball of his foot. His thigh shifted to the left and came in contact with Kurt’s, but Blaine didn’t feel it, once again lost in thought as he tried to come up with a creative way to say that he had all the free time in the world.

“I’m free as soon as classes are over, and I’m not…doing anything, so I don’t have anything but homework until curfew.” Library, library… Blaine tried his best to remember the location of the building between bounces of his thigh, but he couldn’t place where the library was, not even on the map he still kept tucked in his pocket. Learning a new school hadn’t been this difficult when he’d started junior high. Dalton was just so…daunting. Blaine frowned and sucked his lower lip into his mouth, thinking. “Um, I have no idea where the library is, though. I really only know how to get to the cafeteria, the classrooms, and the dorms.” Blaine’s leg finally stopped bouncing, and then he realized that he’d been unknowingly rubbing against Kurt for God knew how long. His entire face turned bright pink, and he whacked his knee on the desk pulling away. The teacher raised an eyebrow toward them, but Blaine waved it off as an accident. He opened his mouth to apologize, to say something, but nothing came out. Just embarrassment. And absolute knowledge that Kurt was going to kill him. Slowly.

Kurt went from being hyper aware about Blaine’s voice to being hyper aware of Blaine’s thigh. The thigh that was pressing into his own. Right now. And moving. Rhythmically. With each and every bounce of Blaine’s foot. Kurt’s eyes slid over to Blaine now, and he did manage to understand what Blaine said. Basically he was going to meet Blaine and lead his worthless ass to the library. He even opened his mouth to say it. He fully intended to say it, and follow it up with something tacky just to make his point. What came out was surprisingly different.

“We can meet in my room. We’re probably close; you were in my bathroom last night.” Kurt snapped his traitorous jaw with a snap. Dammit. That was not even close to what he’d planned. Kurt was just losing his fucking mind. Clearly. His eyes raked over Blaine’s pinked skin, and realized that Blaine’s leg was gone. Its warmth was gone and Kurt had to physically struggle to keep his own body in check. Okay. Okay. He knew what this was, sure. Of course he did.

No. No he didn’t. He hated this guy. Of course Kurt had been with guys he’d hated, but it was never anywhere close to this. No, Blaine was under his skin. Wait, why was he comparing this situation to those? Oh god. Kurt was shaking his head again and that’s when he realized he was staring right at Blaine’s mouth and waiting to see what was going to happen next because he really didn’t know. He really had no freaking clue. 

Blaine had no idea what to say. He knew that something usually came after being invited to work on a project in someone’s room after class, but every cheesy line in every romantic comedy hadn’t prepared him for this: this was the one situation that was completely and utterly non-sexual, the way that the movies pretended to make them, but it was the reality of the situation. “Okay, cool?” Blaine frowned at his own word use, knowing that going from rubbing up against someone’s thigh to getting invited to their room to saying “cool” was probably lower on the list than a lot of things. The problem was that Blaine had never really had enough experience in being invited to boys’ rooms to know.

“I mean…I’m in room 307. What room are you in? I’m pretty sure I can find my way around the dorms well enough.” There were a couple beats of silence, and then Blaine sighed. He looked down, then back up at his notebook. He had an idea of what they wanted to do at least, and Kurt didn’t seem to mind doing his hair share of the work, so he wasn’t particularly worried about that. But Kurt had brought up the showers, the bathroom. “I’m sorry about the bathroom last night,” he murmured, and his mind seemed to exist in a world of its own, completely separated from rational thought. “I was, I meant to tell you that I would just leave, but then you—I, um. Sorry.”

Blaine looked down at his hands and pulled off his glasses. He rubbed them against his shirt before he put them back on. He started to look up at Kurt, then decided against the action halfway into it. Sometimes, Blaine wondered whether or not there was actually a filter from his mind to his mouth. Sure, he was smart and he could talk intellectually with the best of them, but when it came to being able to tell when enough was enough, even Blaine realized that he wasn’t so great at it all the time.

Kurt bit his lip during Blaine’s fumbled apology. He bit hard enough that the coppery taste of blood seeped into his mouth. It was too bad that biting his lip only stopped him from raising his voice at Blaine and did nothing to stop the hard on that seemed to come out of the blue. Instead of continuing this maddening conversation, because that’s exactly what this had become, a conversation, Kurt simply looked straightforward, told Blaine where his room was, 312 incidentally, and then he asked to be excused. The teacher was hesitant but something must have been in Kurt’s expression because the teacher gave a short nod. Kurt tucked his books against his body and rushed out the door. 

Surprisingly he made it all the way up to his dorm without incident. There he dropped his books on the floor, leaned up against his door and undid his fly with an audible sigh of relief. He jerked off quick and dirty with no thoughts for anything other than release. One, two, maybe four rough tugs later and he was spilling over his hand as his heart tried to pound out of his chest. Alright. Part of the problem was too clear to ignore. For whatever twisted reason that stuck up dickhead was exactly what Kurt wanted. As for the part where he could barely stand the sight of him, well that was too big to fit unto Kurt’s head right now. He needed to get cleaned up and get back out there in time for his next class.

Hours later the day was done and Kurt was back in his room. He pulled the book out, and thumbed the pages. Like Blaine he’d already read this one but there was no sense bringing that up right away. Kurt had a plan. A semi plan. It involved drawing this assignment out as long as he could; or as long as he could stand being around Blaine. He still wasn’t convinced that he and his dick could come to some sort of middle ground on this. It also involved working off some of the steam right away to see if it made any difference. As for whether or not Blaine would play along, well that was tricky, but Kurt had confidence on his side. Also brute force, but he was sort of hoping wasn’t going to be all that hard. Or maybe he was hoping it would be. He really couldn’t make up his mind. So he stopped trying and just waited.


	6. Room 312

After classes ended, Blaine had gone straight up to his room. His roommate was there, but he was working on homework, or something else on the computer that seemed to require his undivided attention, so Blaine was free to worry about where he was about to go in peace. He was about to enter Kurt’s bedroom. At least there would be a roommate there who would buffer any interactions the two of them would have. Besides, they were only supposed to be working on The Great Gatsby, which wasn’t particularly difficult. Most of the themes were straightforward, and a decent writer could jot down a summary of the novel in a matter of minutes. Blaine looked at the clock on his nightstand. If they worked diligently, which he was hoping they would, Blaine would be back in his room by 8:00 with plenty of time to do the rest of his homework, and maybe some pleasure reading.

That thought seemed to calm him down, and Blaine touched his hand to his hairline and rubbed, relaxing himself. He did a mental checklist as he grabbed things and tossed them into his boo bag: novel, pens, paper, check, check, check. He turned to leave before remembering that he almost forgot the key to his room. After he grabbed that, Blaine made the short walk down the hall. The numbers of room 312 seemed to be taunting him. He reached a hand up, then hesitated.

Kurt was the same boy that two days ago was threatening him, who had pushed him against the wall in the bathroom. He was willingly, project aside, going into the other boy’s room. For a brief moment, Blaine thought that he might have been walking into a trap. What if Kurt’s friends were on the other side of the wall, waiting to ambush him and make a fool of him for even thinking that Kurt would work on a project with someone like him. Kurt had even said it himself that he didn’t think Blaine had been created equal to him. “Just get your ideas down on paper and you can go. The teacher paired you two together, deal with it.” After his mumbled pep talk, Blaine knocked.

When Kurt opened the door, the first thing Blaine noticed was that there was no roommate.

Kurt leaned on the door frame and just let his eyes take Blaine in, really take him in, and he really did try to find something sexy about him or something just not, ridiculous. Blaine’s hair was pasted to his scalp, he had on his dorky glasses, his uniform was of course just a uniform, but he wore loafers. Kurt gave this up pretty fast and stepped back to gesture Blaine on in. Then Kurt very methodically closed and locked his door. He slipped out of his jacket, something he had meant to do before but he’d been distracted during his wait and had forgotten. Now he laid it carefully over the back of his desk chair and turned to face Blaine.

His supplies were there on the bed and the only other available seating was overrun with clean laundry waiting to be put away. So Blaine would be forced to sit on the bed. There was a plan, after all. Kurt thought about trying a smile with Blaine but abandoned that thought as he crossed to his bed. Kurt didn’t have warm feelings toward Blaine so he was fairly certain that any false pretenses would simply be for naught. Instead he simply sank down on the edge of the bed, then crawled backwards to sit at the headboard. Then he patted the space next to him and waited for Blaine to comply.

Kurt had his mind made up. He was going to kiss that boy senseless and then maybe he could think about the stupid assignment. First he had to get Blaine to sit.

At first, Blaine was scared to find that there was no roommate to diffuse whatever situation happened, but then he found himself grateful. Kurt hadn’t told his friends to come and ambush him or anything. It was just the two of them working on a project. They just so happened to be working alone in Kurt’s room. But that wasn’t odd for projects. Typically, however, Blaine worked on projects with people who liked him, and didn’t look at him like he was worse than the gum you got on the bottom of your favorite shoes.

He watched quietly from the entryway of the room as Kurt shucked off his blazer. Blaine fumbled with the button on his, then decided against getting comfortable. Kurt was definitely comfortable in his own room, as evidenced by his sinking down onto his bed. The extra long twin that came with every dorm room wasn’t very large, but it would fit two people comfortably. Which is why, then, when Kurt patted the empty spot next to him, Blaine only hesitated for a moment before fully entering the room and going to sit down.

Blaine sat on the very edge of the bed, then pushed off his shoes with his feet before pulling his legs up and crossing them. “Um, hi,” he started, then grabbed the strap of his book bag. He’d seen Kurt briefly in history, but the only real interaction they’d had was when Kurt ran out of the classroom on him. Blaine pulled open his bag and grabbed his notebook. “You don’t have a roommate,” he blurted, then chuckled. “That’s pretty cool. My roommate and I don’t really talk. But that’s okay, I guess. We don’t have that much in common. He doesn’t read. He spends all his time on his computer. It’s all for the better, though, because I can get my homework done in relative quiet.” Blaine opened his mouth, then frowned. “I’m allowed to be talking to you right now, right?”

Kurt was watching Blaine with new found fascination and it was a little scary. He just couldn’t ever seem to shut up. Not before and certainly not now. He might have said something, might have let Blaine know that, yes, this counted as a time when he could talk, but the truth was he didn’t have time for that.

Kurt didn’t hesitate. He couldn’t. If he waited one second too long he might change his mind or Blaine might bolt, or worse he might really just try and stop Blaine’s mouth with his fist and then things would only go downhill from there. He turned to the side, grabbed a fistful of Blaine’s shirt, and hauled him directly to his mouth. 

Now Kurt had kissed plenty of guys. Some of them had even been gay. The point is, he had skills. Mad skills. He also had plenty of other kisses to compare this to, which he might do, which he always did, but couldn’t right now for some reason. N fact the entire world seemed to shut down in an instant as Blaine’s lips blazed against his. Blaine’s lips were so fucking soft. Like satin. They were also so warm it made Kurt ache immediately for more. He had planned out all his best moves but all of them seemed lost to him. He was just sliding his lips sideways against Blaine’s, softly and gently, what the hell? He realized his hands were trying to hold Blaine’s face to his but rater than crushing h they were cradling there.

Kurt panicked. Full on mind exploding panic attack. He absolutely had to pull his shit together. So that became the new focus of the kiss. Mind you all of this took place in a matter seconds but Kurt pressed himself against Blaine, pinning him back and let him have it. Every bit of anger, every little moment of pent up frustration, every secret desire, he just let it all loose in that moment. He could hear his own moans clawing their way out of his throat as his tongue fought to gain entrance to Blaine’s mouth. Once inside he devoured Blaine’s tongue and rocked against him as the taste and smell of Blaine filled his senses. It was fantastic. It was horrible. It was so much more than Kurt had imagined and it was so far out of his range of experience that he couldn’t seem to hold to any sort of reality except the lifeline that was Blaine and Blaine’s mouth.

Blaine was watching Kurt in the seconds before the kiss, watching the way that he was silent, merely watching him and not giving the okay to speak, but not punishing him for speaking in the first place. And that was when it happened.

Kurt’s lips were strong, but also soft against his. Blaine had always expected his first kiss to be planned and expected, in a relationship with someone after a date on the front porch. It was supposed to be sweet and intimate, which was everything this kiss was not. Well, it was intimate; he was kissing Kurt. Belatedly, it dawned on Blaine that he was kissing Kurt. The same Kurt that had threatened him in the hallway, pushed his lunch on him, terrorized him and left him petrified in the bathroom. It was the same Kurt who’s tongue was everywhere in his mouth all of a sudden, and Blaine wasn’t exactly sure when it happened.

In an involuntary motion, Blaine opened his mouth to the way that Kurt was so forceful, and he gasped, the sound ending on a moan as Kurt’s hips rocked forward. His eyes fluttered shut and his hands grasped at the fabric of Kurt’s dress shirt. When he blinked, Blaine saw the outline of Kurt’s profile, and he was slapped with the sharp realization that Kurt Hummel had taken his first kiss. In almost the same instant that he moaned, Blaine was pushing Kurt away from him. One hand came up to touch his lower lip, and Blaine stared across the bed, eyes wide and full of confusion and hurt.

“What are you doing?” he started, not bothering to address the fact that Kurt probably didn’t know Blaine had never been kissed before. “You don’t even like me! Why are you—is this a joke to you? Are your friends gonna pop up somewhere and I’m going to learn you only did this to make me feel awful again?” Tears welled up in Blaine’s eyes, and he sniffed once to stave off the stinging. “Is this what you do for fun? Steal people’s first kisses and then pick on them until they’re too terrified to say no to you? You pushed me, you thew my lunch on me, and you called me a freak. You don’t like me.” Blaine tilted his head backward, rolling his eyes as the tears slipped. He didn’t want to cry, but his mind was moving at a thousand miles a second. He’d lost his first kiss, to Kurt of all people, and the worst part was that not only did Blaine enjoy every second of it, there was a large part of Blaine that wanted nothing more than to pull Kurt back down and learn everything Kurt had to teach him.

Kurt was deep in the moment lost somewhere in Blaine where the world made profound sense when suddenly all of it was being torn away. The shock of the real world was so painful that it made Kurt’s teeth ache. He felt himself sway to gain purchase on anything to hold himself up. Then it just went from bad to worst. In all of Kurt’s planning, in all his scheming, he’d not considered that Blaine wouldn’t like the kissing. He’d been sure, he realized belatedly, that if anyone wouldn’t like it would be him, and that no matter what he felt, Blaine would enjoy it. Worse than that was the realization that Kurt had sincerely wished for Blaine to enjoy it. 

Actually now that he thought about all of it the worst part was having Blaine accuse him of the terrible things he was accusing him of right now. They sounded painfully true no matter what Kurt had been dong.

Kurt’s lungs were burning as he tried to draw a breath, he wanted to fight Blaine, swear to him that he’d misread the signs or that of course he hadn’t been doing this to be cruel. But Kurt couldn’t say those things now because Blaine was crying. His tears were causing a physical reaction inside Kurt and for the first time in a long time Kurt was scared. He was terrified of what he might do and he felt helpless to stop himself. There was the part of Kurt that had secretly longed for those tears. The tears were like a form of submission, like Blaine was giving up. He’d wanted to wring them out of Blaine until Blaine had nothing left to give.

The other part, the terrified part of him needed desperately for Blaine to stop crying like that because it was literally painful to watch and causing Kurt to feel like his chest was cracking open. It hurt like hell and for the first time in a very long time Kurt was feeling what he assumed to be shame; bone deep shame at his own behavior. Oh Blaine was so much more than just irritating to Kurt. He was dangerous. 

When the final piece of all of it sank in Kurt sucked in his breath and stared at Blaine, uncertain as to how to proceed. That was Blaine’s first kiss. If Kurt had taken any time out in his scheming he probably would have guessed that but he hadn’t cared and now Blaine was in his bed crying for the thing that Kurt had taken from him and Kurt felt like his world was upside down. He had to do something, had to make this all stop now before he lost himself for good. 

Kurt crawled back up the bed. He wasn’t sure when he had moved so far from Blaine but he very slowly made his way back to the boy’s side. “Blaine…” Oh god his voice sounded wrecked. It isn’t like that, or it isn’t all the way like that. I’m not trying to be mean here, I‘m not out to hurt you. They were all lies.

“Blaine…” Kurt tried to speak again, only trusting himself with small sentences. Kurt turned and wiped softly at Blaine’s cheeks with his thumb. There was no way Kurt could explain to Blaine about any of this because he didn’t know how to explain it to himself. He just couldn’t risk putting himself in Blaine’s control like that no matter how bad he felt. It would pass and he’d be even sorrier than he was now. But looking into Blaine’s crumbled face Kurt was afraid again. He didn’t really like the feeling at all.

“Tell me to stop.” He said, so quietly that at first he wasn’t sure Blaine heard him. He moved closer again, his face just inches from Blaine’s and he searched the other boy’s eyes. “Tell me no.” He whispered. 

Blaine tried not to cry. He really had. He’d tried so hard to not let the jokes and the teasing get to him, but now that he was stuck here at Dalton, now that he couldn’t call his mom to ask for advice or look to his dad to pat him on the shoulder and tell him that things would work out, Blaine felt absolutely and positively alone. Except that he wasn’t alone, because Kurt was crawling back up the bed toward him. He tried to shrink away from the comforting touch that was wiping tears from his eyes, from the almost apologies as Kurt tried to explain himself away.

His eyebrows furrowed together with all of his effort to suppress the tears. This was not going as planned at all. He was supposed to be well into his themes about the green light and constant vigilance in The Great Gatsby. But instead, Blaine was staring into Kurt’s eyes, watching him as he nearly begged Blaine to tell him no. Immediately, his mouth opened and his jaw worked, but nothing happened. So he tried again, and the same thing. He snapped his mouth shut and turned his head away from the intensity of Kurt’s gaze, unintentionally nuzzling his cheek further into the cupped palm of Kurt’s hand. It was soft, and Blaine closed his eyes.

Blaine didn’t want to tell Kurt no. Well, the part of him that was thinking, anyway. Somewhere, there was a logical part of his brain telling him that he should say no, that this was some crazy form of Stockholm Syndrome or something, and that after this was done, Kurt would be back to treating him like crap. But there was something about Kurt’s voice, the way he said Blaine’s name, that made him stop, made him want to lean in and kiss Kurt for himself, just so he could feel what it tasted like.

He sighed softly, and then looked up, back into Kurt’s eyes. The tears, thankfully, had stopped. “You’ve been awful to me,” he said, because he didn’t know what else to say. He was trying to convince himself to find a reason, any reason to say no. Blaine didn’t know how to tell Kurt that he couldn’t figure out how to say no. “You were rude, and you were hurtful and…and…” He tried, Blaine tried to finish his sentence with ‘and I want you to stop,’ but instead, what he heard himself say was “I’ve never done this before, okay? Can you just, I don’t know.” But he did. He flushed and looked down, mumbling words into Kurt’s palm. “You can kiss me again. If you want.”

Kurt could see the struggle fleet across Blaine’s features. It drew his eyebrows together; it opened and shut his mouth. It pursed his lips, such lovely lips, and god what was wrong with him? When had Blaine gone from being the nerd he couldn’t stand to this sexy mess of a guy he just wanted to gather close and oh god? Blaine was turning away now, but not moving away. His face was so warm, almost hot against Kurt’s palm. Kurt could feel his hand just itching to take more and feel more, but he held still. He waited. Blaine was going to say no and then Kurt was going to look like the fool he’d let himself become.

If Kurt wanted to kiss someone, and let’s be honest he rarely did, but when he wanted to he just did it. Now here he was being that other guy, the one with the sensitivity and the asking for permission, sort of, and the waiting, and the hoping. Kurt was going to have to have to completely ignore Blaine’s existence from here on out if Blaine refused him. Maybe Blaine wouldn’t tell anyone. Maybe he could tell Blaine not to, maybe Blaine had just a tiny small part of him that would still be afraid enough not to.

Kurt wanted to look away, he needed to look away so he could breathe again, but instead his head stubbornly refused to move and he was forced to watch Blaine as he turned back to Kurt. He wasn’t crying anymore, but his cheeks were tear stained and his eyes were reddened and the whole thing just made the situation that much more intense for Kurt. He thought he was ready to hear Blaine tell him no. He wasn’t ready for what Blaine did say, not even a little bit.

Kurt listened, really sat and listened as Blaine worked his way through it. He ignored the cold coiling sensation in his gut and the lump that took up residence in his throat, and he just listened. He wasn’t supposed to care about any of that, but there was no escaping it right now. Later when Blaine was gone he could worry about it some more. And then Blaine was telling him that he could kiss him. It took a few moments for Kurt’s brain to catch up and switch gears because he was so certain he knew what Blaine was telling him. Kurt knew he maybe should say something but words were still failing him on all levels so he just reached behind Blaine’s neck and pulled.

This time, when he pulled Blaine close he did it slowly. He took time to breathe Blaine in, and honestly he loved the way Blaine smelled. Sort of old school classy with a hint of spice. Then he pressed a kiss to each corner of Blaine’s mouth, his eyes searching Blaine’s for any hint of distress. Finally he pressed against Blaine and the heat took him over once more. He nibbled at Blaine’s bottom lip and followed each nibble with his tongue, seeking, asking, waiting. He ran his fingers around to Blaine’s face and caressed his cheeks and jaw. Soon, before almost anything had happened he could feel himself trembling all over. Kurt needed so much more, so finally he was forced to give in and he slid his tongue into Blaine’s mouth and the world fell away. 

The second he gave Kurt permission to kiss him again, Blaine’s heartbeat doubled in his chest. He watched quietly, his breath coming from between his lips in quiet quivers as his eyes followed Kurt’s hand as far back as it would go, and then let himself feel the warm weight of Kurt’s hand against the back of his neck.

Blaine scrabbled to think of what to do, tried to think back to when he’d Googled “how to kiss,” and had turned away from all of the websites because he’d been embarrassed by the fact that he was a teenager in high school and still hadn’t kissed anybody. Sure, the websites had told him how to hold his head, how to breathe through his nose, but nothing had prepared him for the way that Kurt’s lips were so soft against his that they sent shivers up his spine. Blaine wasn’t even a little bit ready for the way it felt when Kurt’s teeth pulled lightly at his lower lip, and he had no idea how to respond to it, so the rational part of his brain shut off and instinct finally started to take over.

First, Blaine reached up to his face and pulled off his glasses. He tossed them down on the bed, not really caring where they fell, and then let his hand drift so that it rested on Kurt’s waist. His other hand was on the bed, not quite holding him up for support. He kissed Kurt back when he pressed their lips together, marveling at how good someone else’s mouth could feel. Belatedly, he realized that sitting out on Spin the Bottle at parties had been a terrible idea, but something told him that it wouldn’t have been the same here, because this was Kurt.

And then there was his tongue again, which had been flickering against his lips but was in his mouth now, and Blaine whimpered and parted his lips, his grip on Kurt’s waist tightening just enough for Blaine to know that there was something solid in the world outside of this kiss. Tentatively, Blaine shifted his tongue against Kurt’s and his whimper turned into a moan as he pushed himself closer to Kurt. Emboldened by his actions and his body’s response to it, he did it again, tasting the way that Kurt tasted, something almost sweet, but not quite.

Blaine’s body was on fire as Kurt kissed him. His heart was beating faster than Blaine was sure was safe, and the care that Kurt was taking in kissing him was turning him on. When Blaine felt the first twitch and tingle of arousal, he gasped into Kurt’s mouth and his eyes opened wide. He was suddenly unsure, and he pulled away again, just enough to part their lips. “Sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t…um, I mean. I—” The hand that rested on the bed dropped into his lap, palm up, not knowing how to describe exactly what had just happened.

Kurt lost himself against Blaine. His hands roamed past Blaine’s neck to broad shoulders, down strong arms. They pulled at Blaine’s back and slid along his hips and thighs. There was just no way that he could ever be close enough in this position but he wasn’t about to move an inch to change things. How could he when Blaine was making those little noises and he could hear himself echoing them all? This was so good; this was indescribably perfect in a way that seemed impossible to Kurt.

Blaine was spice and sweetness and god he was on fire. Kurt couldn’t breathe like this, he couldn’t get enough air and he couldn’t care either. He felt like he was droning and was helpless to resist the current as it tugged him under. His head took up a chant of Blaine’s name, over and over again. Kurt’s tongue against his, sliding, dancing, it was making him ache everywhere and he had no reference point for that feeling.

Without really meaning to his hands were inching up the back of Blaine’s shirt, not far at all just above his waist, just to get that contact that he seemed to absolutely need. Blaine’s skin there was hot and smooth and Kurt had to force his hands to just stay put and not start pulling Blaine out of his clothes because that’s what he wanted more than anything. 

Then Blaine broke the contact of his mouth and he pulled back searching Blaine’s face, wondering if Blaine felt any of the things he was feeling. Blaine was stammering though, his hand gone limp in his lap and Kurt couldn’t figure out why. Was Blaine sorry he’d done it, sorry for letting Kurt kiss him?

“Maybe you should go.” Kurt told him. He really wanted to beg Blaine to stay, ask Blaine to explain himself, but he just couldn’t stand to hear again why he was such an asshole. He pulled back from Blaine and threw his legs over the side of the bed, effectively shutting himself off from Blaine. “I’ll still do the project, you don’t have to worry about that.” He added softly.

“Maybe you should go.” The words echoed in Blaine’s head, and his jaw dropped at the words. Kurt was the one who had kissed him, and now, now that he was thoroughly and truly confused, that was when Kurt told him to leave? His first instinct was to be angry, but then once he was entirely dismissed, Kurt’s body shut off from his, Blaine started to process exactly what had happened.

First, he’d pulled away from the kiss without an immediate explanation. But Blaine had already said that Kurt could kiss him, but after what had happened the first time, Blaine could understand that. Blaine frowned, thinking, and then his eyes widened when he realized what he’d done. He’d apologized. Sure, he’d meant to apologize for pulling away from the kiss, but the way he’d continued afterward must have sounded, to Kurt at least, like he was saying he couldn’t do it anymore. Couldn’t do the rush of kisses with hot hands searching and skimming and pushing up his blazer and up under his shirt. That was why he’d had to pull away. It was so much…sensation, and it wasn’t that Blaine wanted to stop, no, quite the opposite. He just didn’t know how to get around to saying it.

But now he had no choice, had to say it, otherwise he’d have to leave and deal with the fact that Kurt looked like Blaine had slapped him. “Kurt, wait,” he said, then pursed his lips as he tried to figure out how to word what he wanted to say, how to say it without sounding like a horny teenage boy. He blushed dark red and reached out to touch Kurt’s shoulder. “I don’t…it’s not like that. I don’t want to go. I was, um. Well, I mean. I have a question. Er, not a question, but…okay, I guess it qualifies as a question in the end. But we were kissing and I liked it. Well, liked is probably an understatement. I just, well, the way your hands moved was so…um…” Blaine trailed off, stuck. He’d never talked about sex, or anything relating to it, outside of sex ed classes, and all of the slang terms for everything he was thinking about made him feel even more the horny teen than his mind was putting on him.

Finally, the words came out. “Is kissing supposed to turn you on?” Blaine couldn’t believe the words coming out of his own mouth, not anymore, and as he blushed pink to his ears, he kept on talking, knowing that if they didn’t come out now, it would never get said. “I’ve never done this before, okay? And then we were kissing and I got…I liked it. A lot. And I wasn’t expecting it and I didn’t know what to do and I thought you would, I don’t know, tell me I wasn’t crazy or something, I guess. Please don’t make me go. I—I like kissing. You.”

Kurt was slumping. He never slumped. He wanted to just slumped to the floor and hide until Blaine was gone and then formulate a way to accept everything that had happened and its subsequent loss. Instead he held his place on the bed and tried not to think. At all. Blaine started talking then and Kurt dreaded what was to come. Maybe he deserved, well, okay he was sure he deserved it, that didn’t mean he wanted to hear it.

Blaine surprised him though. He asked Kurt to wait, he touched his shoulder and that little contact made Kurt’s heart pound. He didn’t want to go. Kurt felt like he’d never been so confused in his life. Every since this boy ran into him the other day Kurt had been a fucking mess. He was up he was down, he was furious he was horny. It made his head spin. On the other hand Kurt couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt so alive. As if he was real and could feel things. That was so unexpected. It made him want more.

Blaine’s halting monologue seemed to echo Kurt’s inner struggle in a strongly familiar way. Finally he was making his point and Kurt was turning around because how could he not? Blaine was flushed and there was a light sheen of sweat across his forehead but it struck Kurt in that moment that Blaine was the stronger of the two of them. Kurt was terrified all over again.

“You…just. Stay, okay, stay.” He sounded no better than Blaine. 

Kurt reached a hand out and squeezed Blaine’s lightly. “There’s nothing wrong with you, alright?” Wait, what?! No, that didn’t come out right at all, he’d been thinking more along the lines of, yeah that’s it. “I mean there’s nothing wrong with getting excited.” Okay slightly better.

“In fact, I like you all excited.” There, that sounded more like his old self, he could do this, he could. All he had to do was ignore the fact that Blaine set him on fire and he pretty much felt like he was on a roller coaster.

When Kurt finally turned around, it was like a weight had been lifted off of Blaine’s shoulders. For the moment, at least, Kurt wasn’t kicking him out of his room. If Blaine had known he’d be thinking it a blessing to be able to stay in Kurt’s room this morning, he’d probably have checked himself in somewhere. At the moment, though, he was praising the fact that Kurt had verbalized the word stay.

He relaxed when Kurt took his hand, even chuckling when Kurt stammered over his words, but his smile when he was reassured was soft and genuine. Sure, part of Blaine already knew that it was silly to get so worked up over physically responding to physical contact, but there was a part of him that was always afraid of being the odd man out, where his reactions to things were strange and foreign to other people.

Blaine was opening his mouth to respond, to thank Kurt for letting him stay and for being nice, when the attitude was back. Rather than scaring him or pushing him away, though, Blaine found himself drawn to the cockiness. His mouth started to water and Blaine licked his lips and swallowed, the heat that had been swelling in the pit of his stomach roaring back to life. “I, uh, oh.” Very nice. He’s trying to talk dirty to you and all you can say is oh? “I’m not very good at this, am I?” Blaine asked, a self-depreciating smile on his lips. “I’m pretty good at things, usually, though. Well, when I practice at least. I think I’m the only kid who doesn’t mind homework. It’s just like practice and—” Blaine cut himself off, recognizing his nervous rambling. “Can you kiss me so I stop talking, please?”

Blaine’s face was so expressive; Kurt wondered how he hadn’t been distracted by it before. Or maybe he had been come to think of it. Blaine’s thoughts and feelings were right there on the surface for anyone to see. He was so open, so very different from Kurt, that Kurt was force to sit and marvel at it just for a moment. Then Blaine was talking some more like a jittery schoolgirl, which was an unkind thought that led to the immediate acceptance that Blaine actually was a jittery schoolboy and that Kurt in fact wanted to eat aforementioned schoolboy with a spoon.

Especially when he made those desperate puppy eyes and asked Kurt to kiss him again just so he could shut up. Well, at least they were agreed on one thing. Or a couple of things. Kurt didn’t have to be asked twice to do so. He was on Blaine so fast it made his head spin. This time he didn’t have to worry about slow or gentle or anything really because he was kissing Blaine and Blaine wanted it and he wanted it and now there just was no turning back. He pressed Blaine down on his bed, and slid his knees between Blaine’s until there was no longer ay space between them and he kissed Blaine with no thought for the outcome or the implications or what would happen tomorrow. He just let himself go all passion and heat and need. Very real need.

His fingers mapped the planes and curves of Blaine’s face then move to trail up and down the outside of Blaine’s legs trying in vain to pull the boy closer to him. When that failed he adjusted his position and rocked down against Blaine gasping at the friction he so desperately needed. “Mm, oh!” He murmured into Blaine’s mouth before he could stop himself. Blaine just felt so fucking fantastic. Kurt was rock hard and hoping Blaine understood now just how much Kurt liked him like this.

Kurt was nothing if not thorough. From the moment Blaine’s request left his lips, Kurt was in all of his senses. First it was sight. He could see Kurt’s mouth, the outline of his lips, the half-smile, they way he held his body before he was leaning in and kissing Blaine with everything. Then it was taste. Blaine could taste Kurt, something that was distinctly him. Then it was touch. He felt the bed against his back, soft and cushioning in contrast to the way that Kurt’s leg was warm and hard pressing between his knees. He shifted slightly so Kurt could fit almost in between him, breathing in deep with his nose to try to stabilize himself.

After that, it was smell. Kurt smelled like a hint of body wash and of something with darker, sweet notes, maybe with cologne, but probably not because Blaine could smell Kurt more than just superficially. The smell was sinking into his mind, surrounding him. Blaine’s hands, which had been still and unsure, came up to touch Kurt’s arms, then slowly they trailed up to cling to his back, bunching the fabric of Kurt’s shirt underneath his fingers.

When Blaine felt Kurt try to pull him closer, felt the heat of his arousal on his hips, then it was hearing. First he heard Kurt’s soft sounds in his mouth, and then Blaine became extremely aware of the noises that his lips made against Kurt’s, the way his blazer sounded against the bed, the way that he was nearly panting when tentatively, Blaine lifted his hips upward against Kurt’s and had to pull away from the kiss for a moment to just breathe because he had no idea that this could feel so good. Sure, Blaine had jerked off before. Every teenage boy had, but it was always quick and hurried, and there was never this much…sensation. “Kurt,” he whined, not knowing really what he wanted, but knowing that his mind was swimming with ideas that he was far too embarrassed to even think about voicing.

Kurt was blissing out. Blaine was like a drug. An expensive designer drug meant to take you to another dimension where everything felt so much more there; so alive and so good. A place where the touch of fingers along your arms felt like electricity, almost painful but too good to actually hurt. A place where lips melded and sighs were stolen and hearts raced and never tired. Kurt wanted to bask in every sensation but his body was still just the body of a horny teenager and Blaine’s fully aroused cock sliding against his own was very nearly enough to tip him over the edge. He almost lost it again all over again when Blaine’s mouth tugged away with a slick sound and he whimpered Kurt’s name. 

Well, he certainly wasn’t going to say no to that. Kurt pressed Blaine beneath him and folded himself so that his lips were pressing against the side of Blaine’s neck, his hands grasping Blaine’s knees, and then he moved. He wanted to take his time, he really did. This was all so much sensation, so many shocks of pleasure up his spine, but even without looking at Blaine’s needy expressions he could hear Blaine in his ear and he could certainly feel every inch of Blaine beneath him. The last coherent, and really coherent was a stretch at this point, the last coherent thought he had was that he hoped Blaine was right there with him, on the edge.

His hips rolled down and up and his body trembled with need. Kurt pressed little kisses against Blaine’s neck and whispered god knew what to him, he had no idea what because it was all too much, and everything, and never quite enough. He was moving faster, unable to control the rhythm or pace any longer, his thrusts growing faster until he was grinding hard against Blaine right on the edge ready to fall.

“Cum Blaine, cum now.” He had meant it to be a whisper between them but it was almost a shout. He bit into the soft flesh below Blaine’s earlobe right as he tipped over and came hard, so hard it took his breath away and he was forced t sag atop Blaine, shaking and panting ; clinging to the boy beneath him.

The pace quickened, Kurt’s lips shifted from Blaine’s mouth to his neck, and Blaine’s eyes shot open as a deep moan tumbled from somewhere deep in his chest. This time, when he said Kurt’s name, his voice was wrecked, pitched just a little lower than normal and trying hard to keep from trembling as he lifted his chin, offering more of his neck for Kurt’s lips and teeth. Blaine had never known, had never even guessed, that his neck would be so sensitive, but as Kurt worked the area over with soft kisses, Blaine’s hips snapped up to meet Kurt’s, proving to him that he didn’t know his own body well enough at all. Belatedly, he worried about hickeys, but that thought completely evaporated at Kurt’s order.

Blaine inhaled, tried to exhale and failed, then inhaled again before letting out a long breath stuttered with half-words and almost thoughts while his hands fisted tighter into Kurt’s clothing. And then he could feel Kurt’s teeth, right underneath his ear, and that was it. “Kurt, I c—oh,” was all that he could muster as he rutted against the other boy when he came, feeling his cock jerk in his pants. The feeling of wet underwear and pants was forgotten as Kurt sagged on top of him, and Blaine took deep, gasping breaths until his heart rate had returned to something mildly resembling normal. Then, he forcibly removed his fingers from the impossibly wrinkled white shirt Kurt was wearing and moved to kiss him on the cheek. There was a bliss and a peace that lasted for all of five minutes before Blaine actually looked around and remembered where he was, what he’d done, and who he was underneath. That was when the freakout started.

Oh my God. “Oh my God.” What did you just do? That was fantastic. “That was…wow.” Blaine was still a little breathless, but he could feel his body coming down off of a high that an orgasm had never given him before. He turned so that he was on his side, shifting from underneath Kurt. Oh my God. You just had sex with Kurt Hummel. Was that sex? Is he going to think it’s sex? You guys aren’t together. It was sex…right? I can’t believe you just had sex with someone you’re not in a relationship with. Is he going to ask me out? Would you say yes? He’s not going to ask you out. It was just sex. It was sex, right? Blaine’s eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to speak again, but had nothing that he could put into words. So he said the very first thing that came to mind. “I…just…we. That. What was? That. Sex?” Smooth. Very smooth.

In Kurt’s experience there was a certain order of events following the inevitable post coital bliss. Move apart, clean up, adjust any clothing as necessary, and leave before it gets weird. There was a small stretch of time that Kurt liked to ignore, time when he was first experimenting with sex, where he was the one getting left. He turned that around as soon as he’d figured out how. First of all you do not bring a guy to your room. Not unless you intend to tell him to get out at some point, it was just easier to walk out of someone elses room. Less talking that way. Secondly you do not let the after orgasm haze allow you to kiss, cuddle, or otherwise interact in any way. This leads to having to explain that no, you weren’t having a moment, or feelings, or anything, but rather your brain was sex addled and that’s all over now. Finally, and maybe this was one of the most important, you did not hesitate once sex was done. Once it was over what was the point of any of the rest of it?

Kurt was in the middle of remembering all of these very important and life saving techniques when Blaine kissed his cheek. Then he realized that he was halfway to snuggling in close to Blaine and just holding on to him. That was when the freak out started. Oh my god, Blaine had said and now he was sliding out from under Kurt and Kurt was rolling so they were facing each other and really he needed to get out of this bed before he lost his composure entirely. Blaine was rumpled and imperfect and red faced and wide eyed and Kurt just lay there looking at him. Don’t reach out, don’t pull him closer, don’t touch his lips, don’t look at his lips, oh god. Roll over, sit up, get up for god’s sake don’t just lie here staring like some fool. Oh god, Kurt was watching as his hand trailed Blaine’s arm of its own accord. I am so screwed! Kiss him. No don’t kiss him, fuck!

Blaine came to his rescue, surprisingly enough.

“I…just…we. That. What was? That. Sex?”

Kurt snapped back to himself, but only just because a warm bubble of laughter escaped right there at the end. It almost sounded…fond, to Kurt’s ears. “Breathe.” He told Blaine. Kurt rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. He didn’t know why he wanted to be careful in what he said but he told himself it must be so he didn’t scare Blaine away too fast. They could do this again and this was good and Kurt liked getting off so yeah that all made sense.

“While that was great, and some people do consider it sex, I always like to think of it as foreplay. There are so many things that people can do together without doing everything, so I think your virtue’s still safe.” And that would be the long winded version. “It’s best to define those sorts of things for yourself though.” He added. Because apparently this was an after school special about frottage of which he was now the host. Just get up, get up, get up. He picked up Blaine’s hand and kissed it.

“I think we might need a little clean up and a change of clothes if we’re going to get any homework done.” He finally managed to say, and then he was pulling himself up and away and pushing down all of the insanity that wanted to spill over and ruin everything.

Breathing. Right. Blaine focused on that, picking up and fidgeting with his glasses while Kurt explained that he didn’t exactly think that what they’d done was sex, but that it was something that he could decide for himself. Blaine nodded, a soft snort coming from his mouth when Kurt reassured him about his virtue. He felt comfortable when Kurt was like this, when he explained something without shutting off from him. Blaine felt his cheeks pink when Kurt kissed his hand, intent on leaning over and initiating a kiss on his own when the mood was gone and Kurt was pulling away and going into business mode.

Blaine had to blink multiple times to clear his head enough to start thinking about schoolwork again. He still had questions about what had just happened, though. He wanted to know what it meant for them, what it meant for their relationship inside the classroom, whether or not it meant anything to Kurt at all. It had meant something to Blaine, and as he slipped his glasses back onto his face, he started to become more and more uncomfortable on Kurt’s bed. He wanted to talk, to understand what was going on, but Kurt had disengaged.

“Right,” Blaine murmured, “a change of clothes.” The moment he said it, Blaine realized how uncomfortable it was to be sitting in his own come-filled underwear. He looked down and saw the wet stain on the front of his pants, and then sighed. His bag would cover it, but he’d have to move quickly, which was sure to be an uncomfortable process. Blaine stood and grabbed his bag, then hesitated at the foot of the bed while he put on his shoes. “I’ll just…go. To my room, then. And change. And then I’ll come back and we can start working.” His eyes darted up to Kurt’s face, and the fear that Kurt was only using him fell heavy and hard on his chest. “On the project.” Blaine wanted Kurt to stop him, wanted him to take him by the wrist or the arm or around the waist and tell him that he was being silly, that obviously they would have to be together so that they could have repeat performances of this, and more, and that Blaine was silly for worrying so much.

Of course, that fabrication of reality was so stretched that it almost made Blaine laugh. That wasn’t Kurt. He realized belatedly that this was the Kurt he saw regularly, and Blaine wanted to smack himself for thinking he’d get anything different.

Kurt just sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes following Blaine as the boy got up and slipped on his shoes. Blaine looked different to him. It wasn’t a mystery either; Kurt put his finger on it immediately. Blaine was sexy as hell all rumpled like that. Kurt had a moment of struggle. He want to pull Blaine back down and kiss him madly, he wanted Blaine’s warmth under him, on top of him, in his arms, just for a little bit longer. It would be easy enough to reach out, call Blaine back, anything really. Blaine was so close still. That’s the moment when things really clicked into focus for Kurt.

He absolutely could not do this. This warmth in his chest, the way his cock tried to stir back to life as he watched Blaine, the way his arms ached to hold Blaine again. He could not do it. Kurt looked down at his hands and took a few breaths to clear his head. Then he smiled, it was a genuine smile and he hoped it looked genuine, because he felt good despite whatever hang ups he had. Maybe he didn’t have to fight every last thing. He didn’t have to go back to treating Blaine like shit just because he didn’t want to be Blaine’s boyfriend. Like, they could still fool around, or whatever, just as long as Kurt knew where the line was. Yes, he thought, he could do that, no problem. 

“Alright.” He told Blaine, finally looking back up. “I’ll just get everything organized and we can get started. 

Once Blaine was gone Kurt tidied himself up and changed into jeans and a t-shirt. He straightened the bed and got out some paper and pens and waited for Blaine to come back. He did not think about what he was doing. There was no space in his head for why or how or anything else. It was straightforward. Kurt was clearly aroused by Blaine’s awkward virgin schoolboy thing and the rest didn’t matter as long as he got what he wanted.

When Kurt came out of this reverie he found himself burying his nose in the pillow that Blaine had laid on. He threw it on the floor.


	7. Lunchtime Adventures in Boyrfriendland?

Eventually, Kurt and Blaine managed to get their book report done. It hadn’t taken too long, but Blaine sometimes found himself taking longer to answer questions that Kurt asked him because he was wondering how this Kurt was the same as the Kurt he’d gotten off with, and how that Kurt was the same Kurt that terrified him hours earlier. Then, somewhere, Blaine’s mind decided that it didn’t really matter, because Kurt was being nice now, and they were working together and Kurt didn’t seem to mind that Blaine spent most of the night just looking at him.

That night, Blaine slept well.

In the morning, the two presented their report, and the teacher looked on fondly as they gave thorough analyses of The Great Gatsby, and Blaine made sure to keep his gaze thoroughly in check, only looking at Kurt when he was nodding and agreeing with something he said, or when he would cut in to make an additional point. Other than that, though, Blaine didn’t have any time to interact with Kurt. He’d kept things strictly professional when they were working on their report the night before, and in class wasn’t exactly the time to go around making eyes at someone.

By the time lunch rolled around, however, Blaine left for the cafeteria with an extra pep in his step. He grabbed his lunch and paid, then picked up his tray full of lasagna and surveyed the cafeteria. Then, Blaine saw Kurt. He smiled when he saw Kurt look his way, and waved with his fingers as he approached the other boy. His heart started to beat a little more quickly as he got closer and closer, the same feeling he had earlier last night returning in a form of giddy nervousness. “Hi,” he said with a small smile before leaning in. The tray kept them from getting too close, but Blaine kissed Kurt on the cheek and then pulled away. “I know you’re probably gonna go sit with your friends. I was just wondering if maybe I could sit with you guys. Eating alone with a history book every day isn’t much of a date.”

Kurt spent his morning in his usual routine. Since not thinking about Blaine was a mandate now he just pushed it to the back of his mind and faced his day. Actually it was working out pretty well for him. He didn’t falter when he got to the class he shared with Blaine and they presented their project to the class. He didn’t falter when he had to leave Blaine and go his own way for his next class, and he didn’t falter when Wes said he was looking particularly well rested and at ease; all of this with a smirk. No, Kurt Hummel was a man back in control and it felt great. Until lunch. Until he was sitting at the table waiting for his friends and Blaine decides that right then is the perfect time to come over. Not just come over, but come over and have a chat. Oh if that was all the boy wanted they might have survived it, but it wasn’t.

Blaine kissed his cheek there in the cafeteria like it was completely natural for him to do so and anyone could have seen it. Kurt took a cursory glance around, pushed down the warmth spreading through his limbs, and fixed Blaine with a very serious look. His voice was low at first so he couldn’t be overheard.

“What are you thinking? You can’t just come over here and kiss me and talk to me like that!” He took another glance around and still didn’t see anyone watching them. His eyes softened only a bit when he looked back up at Blaine. “Listen we’re…I’m not going to push you around anymore, but you can’t act like we’re boyfriends. We’re not. And what we do in private should stay between us.” Kurt could see Wes now coming out from the line. “You gotta go, Blaine, we’ll talk later. Find me later.” Kurt might have felt a little bit shitty saying these things, but he knew it was for the best. For both of them. 

Kurt wasn’t responding to the small token of affection the way Blaine thought he would. Or rather, how Blaine thought that Kurt might act if he were still the same Kurt from last night, the one that had kissed him soft and quick, that had trailed his fingers down his arm and had been nice, honest. But no. Instead, Blaine was greeted with a stern look at was being fussed at. “But Kurt, I—”

Whatever Blaine thought he was going to say next to defend himself died in his throat. Not boyfriends. But not only were they not boyfriends, Kurt told Blaine that he couldn’t act like anything had changed. It was private. Things should stay private. Blaine could feel his chest tighten and tears well in his eyes. They stung and his lower lip trembled, and Blaine tried to think of anything positive in that statement. Kurt wouldn’t push Blaine around anymore. Great, thought Blaine. That’s awesome; couldn’t ask for more. He’d also asked Blaine to find him later. He wanted to say no. He wanted to say yes. Finally, Blaine’s mind started working again and he remembered that Kurt had also told him to leave in the same breath. He sucked in a deep breath.

“G-go to…go to hell, Kurt,” he whispered, voice breaking on the last word. Sure, he’d been permitted to use the word in the house, but Blaine liked to think that he usually had a bigger vocabulary, that he was above curse words. He could think of nothing else to say though, and it was a combination of so many things that he was thinking, so it worked. Except he didn’t want Kurt to go to hell. He wanted Kurt to tell him that he could sit with him, smile at him, use the word boyfriend like it didn’t taste like acid in his mouth. Thoughts conflicted, Blaine turned and left. He sat at his table, alone, and pulled out his history book, which fell onto the table with a resounding thud. He looked at the lasagna, then ignored it in favor of reviewing the reading material for class.

Blaine got two pages in when the first tear slipped down the bridge of his nose and wrinkled a small piece of the paper. Blaine wiped at his face and sniffled before closing his history book, getting up, throwing his food in the trash can, and leaving the cafeteria. He debated going to his room and skipping History because Kurt was in it, but his need to be a good student won out over that. Instead, Blaine went to his classroom and sat in the back, something he’d never done before. However, he needed the class period to himself, to think. He couldn’t believe that he’d been so silly as to think that Kurt of all people would be willing to call someone, especially someone like Blaine, his boyfriend. Kurt probably did this to everyone he wanted.

By the time class started, Blaine had convinced himself that he was simply a part of Kurt’s cycle: be rude, get him in bed, then make vague promises of talking later and moving on. That was, until Kurt walked into class and Blaine tried to remember to be mad rather than just upset. For a moment, he tried to catch Kurt’s eye, but he realized what he was doing and stopped, dropping his eyes to the closed text book and double checking to make sure that the seat he had taken would be far enough away from where Kurt sat that they wouldn’t have been able to see each other without actually looking.

It was somewhere in between trying to convince himself that he was being used and remembering what Kurt’s face had looked like when he was being sweet the night before when Blaine realized that he had no choice but to find Kurt at some point.

Kurt hadn’t even realized he was holding his breath until it rushed out of him all at once as he watched Blaine storm off. He also realized he was hard as hell. Of course that’s when his friends started descending on him. They’d seen Blaine’s retreat and he had to feed them some shit line about working together. Of course that was partially true but Kurt knew it for the lie it was. He had his lunch, or bites of it, he can’t quite remember, and then lunch is over and he’s relieved.

Blaine’s face and his voice, even if he’d stumbled over the words; Kurt can’t remember anyone treating him like that in a long time. It was thrilling, Kurt’s blood surged through him, speeding his heart, leaving him breathless and all of that was sort of difficult to handle during a school day. There was that other side though. The side where Kurt realized that he’d misjudged Blaine severely and had pushed when maybe he should have pulled. Now Blaine was pissed and there weren’t likely to be any hot make out sessions any time soon. 

That’s what Kurt focused on. He didn’t follow that train of thoughts to the darker corners of his mind where other reasons lurked. Things like how much he wanted to smell Blaine, touch Blaine, kiss Blaine, and possess him in every way. No. He just wanted to get a chance to fuck him so he could get him out of his system, or maybe he could keep him around for a bit and have even more fun. Not that it mattered now anyway what his motivations were. Blaine was pissed.

So he had to find a way to turn it around. Kurt spent some time on the how. There was no way he was going to apologize. He had said what he had said for Blaine’s own good. Kurt didn’t do feelings or boyfriends or any of that shit. So that was out. He’d explained that to Blaine already so that was out too. No, he was going to have to convince Blaine to play along n some completely other way; a way that would ensure that Blaine was on board. No matter what. Kurt would have to wait until Blaine approached him first though. And if he didn’t then Kurt would revise the plan.

Finally History was up and Kurt was sliding into the room with very deliberate steps. He didn’t want to seem entirely carefree because he wanted Blaine to be thinking about his mood and guessing at the reason for it. He did note Blaine’s change of seat when he sat and the lesson began. If everything went according to plan he could be spending time with Blaine again that very night.

The minute that Kurt walked into the room, Blaine’s mind finally decided on what emotion he was feeling. He’d only felt it a couple of times before, but this was on a much larger scale: Blaine was mad. He missed the entire history lesson for the day as he tried to come up with one good reason that Kurt even deserved to talk to him later in the day, but even his anger was tempered with memories of soft kisses, the way that Blaine had whined and writhed underneath Kurt, and Blaine had to remember all over again that he was mad, damn it, and that was what had to stick.

At the end of class, Blaine had never been happier that it was Friday. He picked up his books and things, stood, gave one quick look to where Kurt was sitting, and pretty much stormed from the classroom, though he was more confused than he was willing to let on. Kurt looked…almost remorseful, but Blaine couldn’t read his facial expressions well enough to make a judgement call. So he’d stopped trying, realizing that looking at Kurt was only his undoing.

Two classes, a trip up to his dorm room, and a two hour wait later, Blaine was changed out of his blazer and pants and deciding on what cardigan he wanted to wear. He pulled on his favorite pair of jeans and rolled them up at the cuff, then settled on a blue and green striped cardigan with a lavender shirt underneath it. He checked his hair, which was still in place, and then took a deep breath in. Blaine had never purposefully gone to confront somebody before, especially not like this. The walk to room 312 took all of forty seconds, and Blaine let himself get good and mad in the time he was walking. When he knocked on the door, Blaine almost surprised himself with how forceful it sounded. “Kurt,” he hissed through the door.

When the door opened, Blaine stayed in the door frame, arms crossed over his chest. He was guarded. He was ready. “You’ve got ten seconds to come up with a fantastic explanation for why I should even be here finding you later before I either…” He’d never actually come up with a threat to carry out. Blaine’s eyes scanned Kurt’s face, and he spoke up. He thought that he wanted to hit the other boy. At least, that’s how he assumed the feeling for wanting to inflict physical pain on someone was. He’d already gone this far. “before I clock you one and leave.” He hesitated. “And don’t act like you don’t deserve it. Now talk.”


	8. Fight Me

Kurt wasn’t surprised by the knock on his door, or by the voice that practically hissed his name through the door. What he was surprised by was how much Blaine turned him on like this. He answered the door and his eyes raked over Blaine, head to toe. If Kurt were trying to describe the way Blaine dressed in casual clothes he might used the terms hipster and nerd, but it was neither of those things, not really. He was just sort of adorable and Kurt pressed his lips together to stop from smiling. Blaine was still angry and Kurt intended to give him a moment to speak, but only just a moment. After that it was going to be Kurt’s turn.

He was threatening to hit Kurt. Blaine was going to hit him. Kurt pressed his lips harder together but it wasn’t going to work. Kurt was going to lose it and laugh in Blaine’s face, s instead of showing that weakness, he reached forward and pulled Blaine into his room by his cardigan and slammed the door shut behind them. Then he threw himself at Blaine, kissing him hard on the mouth, pressing him into the door, holding him with the entire length of his body.

Oh yes, this was exactly what he’d been craving all day. Everything was Blaine, the taste of Blaine, the smell of Blaine, and everything burned white hot just as it had the first time. Kurt raised a hand to tangle in Blaine’s hair and he pulled Blaine’s head back a bit so he could trail his tongue away from Blaine’s mouth and down his neck where he sucked hard and relentlessly in the space between Blaine’s neck and shoulder.

He’d meant to do this of course; this was the plan all along. Kiss Blaine senseless and make him agreeable. Kurt had never considered what such a thing would do to him though. He wasn’t prepared to lose himself so completely, falling under Blaine’s spell so much so that he forgot what he was supposed to be doing and simply worshiped Blaine’s neck and jaw with his mouth while his other hand fumbles with Blaine’s jeans.

Blaine bit back a yelp when he was pulled bodily into Kurt’s room, but didn’t succeed in hiding a moan that betrayed him when Kurt pressed him up against the door and kissed him hard. His body reacted first, pushing back into the kiss and opening his mouth so his tongue could meet Kurt’s. He felt the way Kurt’s arousal pushed into his hip and groaned from deep in his chest as passion whirled around his mind, trying to silence the fact that his brain was slowly dying from the lack of logic in the situation.

It only worked for a moment, though, and then Blaine was trying to push Kurt away from him. His body hated his mind, hated that he had to push Kurt away from his neck because he wanted to know why that could feel so good, because his mind hated that Kurt managed to make him feel like this, to forget that he was mad. “What are you doing, Kurt?!” Blaine shouted, his voice thick as he shoved his arms in between the two of them and pushed, trying to gain some separation from the assault on his senses. His glasses had fogged at the bottom and Blaine pulled them off and rubbed them against his thigh before shoving them back on. “Get off of me!”

The anger was back, and Before Blaine could think about what he was doing, his right hand reached up, forming a fist, and Blaine closed his eyes as he felt his knuckles make a connection with Kurt’s cheek. It wasn’t a particularly strong punch: Blaine had never learned how to do it properly, but he hoped that it at least served to show Kurt that he wasn’t playing around. “You don’t get to just do this to me!” Blaine was shouting, eyes wide and furious. “You can’t tell me to leave and then pull me back like this. You don’t get to do that, especially not without an explanation!”

Blaine held his hands out, trying to create a personal space bubble so that he could think. His breath came in short pants and he realized belatedly that he was hard. “Now, unless you explain to me what in the world this, this lunch and now thing is, I’m leaving.” His voice was calmer, quieter, as if Blaine had resigned himself to the fact that Kurt was just going to dodge the question and try to get him to stop talking and kiss him. The only problem, though, was that when Blaine thought about the heat, the way that he was reckless in the way Kurt had touched him when he’d been pushed against the door…it was hot.

Kurt was slow to react to Blaine’s escape attempts. His brain had gone cloudy filled with wantneedmorenow rolling through his mind on repeat. Eventually he caught on as Blaine was shoving against him and creating space between their bodies, space that helped Kurt remember to breathe. Actually it was then that he finally realized things were not gong according to plan. He had meant for Blaine to melt, to submit to him, to give them both what they wanted, what they needed. He may have been an arrogant prick but he knew Blaine wanted him just as badly; he was as hard as Kurt was. 

There wasn’t a whole lot of time to gather his wits about him though because Blaine was yelling and then it happened. Blaine hit him. The little shit actually hit him! It wasn’t the hardest hit Kurt had ever taken but it stunned him and made him stumble back in an effort to stay upright. Blaine was yelling again, Kurt got the gist of it but really all he could process was the outrage that was rolling through his body, burning his blood, and making him completely reevaluate the situation. Blaine was not funny. Not even a little. Kurt was seeing red.

Blaine was threatening to leave, his hands still held out in front of him like he could stop Kurt if Kurt had a mind to invade that space again. Kurt could feel his own hands clenching painfully into tight fists at his side. His throat felt thick with anger but somehow he managed to move, and to speak. Kurt closed the distance between them slowly, his eyes never leaving Blaine’s. When he reached Blaine’s hands he sidestepped Blaine quickly and turned the lock behind him.

That done he moved back in front of Blaine, right up against his hands. “This, between us, was just supposed to be fun.” He said it through nearly clenched, his voice low and gravelly. “If, on the other hand you prefer violence, I’m sure that can be arranged as well.” Then he forced himself forward, past Blaine’s hands. Kurt was pressing against him all the way, his lips right on Blaine’s ear as he whispered furiously. “Either way, don’t act like you don’t want everything I have to give.” With that Kurt reached down and cupped Blaine’s dick. 

As Kurt approached, Blaine felt real fear start to seep into his blood. He had no idea why he’d punched Kurt. It was instinct of the basest kind. He’d simply wanted Kurt to back off so that he could be mad and not have to worry about forgetting everything in Kurt’s mouth. He almost apologized when he heard the click of the door lock, and his body shuddered. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was supposed to be the one who was mad, with a reason. Blaine wasn’t supposed to be scared and wondering what exactly what was going to happen to him. He was supposed to have the upper hand here. He was in the right.

“Fun?” he whispered, dropping his hands down by his sides as incredulity crept into his voice. “You’re threatening me with violence and this is supposed to be fun?” Blaine tried to ignore the hand that was touching him, the one that was making it distinctly more difficult to focus on anything else. This wasn’t supposed to be what sex was like. Sex was supposed to be sweet and happy and loving and this was nothing of the sort. This was needy and harsh.

“I want to know why you insist on making me feel like sh—like crap and telling me to go. I want to know where you get off telling me that I want this. I want to know what you think you’re doing, telling me that this is just supposed to be fun when the day before this I’d never even been kissed. I want to know why you want this to just be fun when I’ve never had a boyfriend and now that I feel something, anything, that’s when you want to make sure that it’s just fun?” Blaine took a deep, shuddering breath. His voice never rose above a slow whisper, and he closed his eyes and dropped his head back against the door.

When Blaine opened his eyes again, his eyes were confused, dancing with anger and want and desire and disgust and fear. “I want to know why I feel like I should hate you.” His hips shifted forward into Kurt’s hand. His voice was wrecked. “I want to know why I want you instead.”

Kurt kept his hand moving, he kept his lips at Blaine’s ear. He never once backed off, but he did listen. He didn’t want to. He resisted the words even as the tumbled from Blaine’s lips; especially the part about never having been kissed. Kurt knew of course, he just hadn’t allowed himself to think about it. He hated the pang of guilt he felt, he hated the memories that nagged the back of his mind and threatened to surface reminding him of his own first kiss. Too close too many similarities. He shoved all of it back down, but even as he did so he found himself pressing soft kisses to the shell of Blaine’s ear, to his neck, to his jaw. 

Kurt didn’t want to hear any of this; he couldn’t admit any wrong here. Blaine had started all of this hadn’t he? And hadn’t Kurt deigned to be nice to him, to make him feel good instead of bad? Why did it have to be about answers and promises between them when it was so obviously about desire? There was never any rhyme or reason to getting off. Kurt had learned this the hard way, and now he was going to have to show Blaine, one way or another, and then Blaine surprised him. He was confused about wanting Kurt and was admitting it.

Kurt slid his hand up Blaine’s front until it rested on his chest, and then he ran his mouth up to meet Blaine’s. Instead of kissing him again he just spoke very softly. “I don’t have all the answers Blaine, I wish I did.” He pressed his forehead to Blaine’s but he couldn’t look him in the eye. “You drive me crazy.” Kurt hadn’t meant to say that. “Hate me.” He whispered.

Then he slid his hand back down and this time he dipped down below Blaine’s waistband, his fingers tugging lightly on the band of Blaine’s underwear. “Yell at me.” He kissed Blaine softly. “Fight me.” His voice was so light now. His fingers plunged down until he was running them along Blaine’s cock and it was almost more than he could stand. Blaine was so hot against his fingers. So hot against his lips. He wanted everything and he wanted it now and no matter what Blaine was struggling with Kurt knew he was right there wanting it all too.

Blaine tried to hate Kurt. He tried. He tried to find it somewhere in his heart to push Kurt away, to hit him and yell at him and make him feel even worse than Blaine had in the cafeteria, when he’d been pushed in the shower, when he thought that Kurt was just using him. He wanted to be able to do all of that and more, but the only thing on his mind was the way that Kurt’s hand was so warm, and this felt worlds different than his own hand. Yes, he was still mad, and he was definitely still hurt, wanted to talk about the fact that Blaine needed commitment, something else, but he also needed this, much more of this.

He keened, the sound high pitched and needy as his hips pushed forward into Kurt’s hand. He kissed Kurt back, his own hands rising up to tangle in Kurt’s hair and leaving the other one to hold fast onto his hip. And that’s when Blaine bit at Kurt’s lower lip. It was definitely harder than a nip, but it wasn’t hard enough to draw blood. He pulled softly on Kurt’s hair and kissed him once more, then bit him again. And then he pulled back from the kiss, frustrated and turned on and completely and utterly unable to think straight.

Yell at me. Fight me. Blaine wanted to. He wanted to so badly, but he could barely open his mouth to tell that to Kurt. Instead, he gave a strangled half-cry and pushed Kurt, forcing separation between them again. His eyes were dark and his breath was coming in long, deliberate pulls. He stared at the floor for a few seconds, and then looked up. “Oh, my God. I want you so bad.” When he realized what he’d said, Blaine gasped and brought his hand up to his mouth, waiting for the embarrassment to come. When it didn’t, Blaine’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, and then he closed the distance between him and Kurt. For once, apologizing for not being able to make up his mind was the last thing he was thinking. Instead, Blaine closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Kurt’s hard.

The kiss screamed anger and hurt and confusion, but there was also need, and even emotion that weren’t even closely linked to hatred somewhere even behind that. Blaine whimpered and opened his mouth for Kurt. I want him. I want him. I want him. The thought was scary and overwhelming and Blaine didn’t want to think about anything else. “I want you,” he whispered into the kiss, voice broken and needing as he struggled to try to find the right way to articulate it. “Please.”

Blaine made a noise. Just a soft noise, but it went straight to Kurt’s cock. Then Blaine was kissing him back and it was so perfect. Blaine’s finger in his hair, Blaine’s hips thrusting forward. So good. So right. Kurt held tight to Blaine’s hips trying to keep the both steady as the world rocked around them. Right in the middle of all of this overly heightened sensation, Blaine bit him. His lip. It wasn’t too hard, in fact it was just about right for Kurt’s mood, but then it happened again. Kurt felt a strangled sort of cry leave his lips but then Blaine was pulling back.

Immediately Kurt felt the loss. He met Blaine’s eyes which were wide and hungry. He thought maybe that’s what he would look like to Blaine just now. Blaine’s mouth looked practically bruised and he wanted to be kissing it again and then Blaine said it. He said he wanted Kurt and they were kissing again. This time Kurt held nothing back, and neither did Blaine. Kurt crushed Blaine in his arms, his tongue lashing against Blaine’s, hips grinding, hands sliding. Soon Kurt’s hands found what they were searching for and he grabbed two handfuls of Blaine’s ass just as Blaine said please.

It was like throwing gas on an open flame. Kurt felt the backs of his knees hit the edge of the bed and he pulled Blaine down on top of him. His hands pulled and pushed just so until Blaine was straddling his waist and he was raising his hips to Blaine’s almost frantically. His body knew what he needed and it intended to get it, but it wasn’t really what Kurt wanted. Not this time. He flipped them over, pinning Blaine down into the mattress, never once breaking the contact of their mouths and then grabbed Blaine’s wrists and pinned them over his head.

“Don’t move.” He whispered his voice dusky with desire. He needed Blaine still; he needed to feel some sort of control in a situation that was so far out of control that it was shocking to him. Then he released Blaine’s wrists and began trailing his hands over Blaine’s body until they came to rest on the buttons of his shirt. He meant to unbutton them, he really did, but after the first button, he ripped the second one and just gave in and tore the shirt open revealing Blaine’s toned torso. Immediately Kurt dove down and began licking paths across Blaine’s chest and stomach as though the honey colored skin was everything he’d every needed. 

Everything was a mess and a tangle of limbs and tongues and sounds when Blaine felt himself being pulled. He panicked for a moment before recognizing that he was on the bed, on top of Kurt. He pushed his hips downward, earning a grunt from Kurt and a needy sound from himself that was lost in the train of kisses that he and Kurt were trading. But Blaine was tired of being pushed around by Kurt, tired of being moved and told exactly what to do, what he could and couldn’t do, and as he was flipped and pinned, Blaine could feel the same anger that had driven him to bite Kurt rise in his chest again.

As soon as the issue was ordered, when Kurt’s hands let go of his wrists, Blaine started to move. At first, he just moved his hips, rucking up as Kurt tried to unbutton and then ripped open his shirt. He could hear the buttons ping as they fell to the floor, but Blaine really couldn’t have cared less in the moment about the shirt. He had four more in darker and lighter shades of purple; he’d be fine.

What was getting to him, however, was the fact that Kurt’s tongue and lips were far too good at what they did. Blaine sucked in a deep breath that ended in a sound that Blaine hadn’t known he was even capable of making. It fell somewhere between a grunt and a groan, but it was breathy and low, and Blaine wanted Kurt to make him do it again. “Kurt,” he murmured, rising up on his elbows. He was entirely aware of the rule he was breaking, moving, but he didn’t care. The defiance made him feel good, thrilled him somewhere deep that went straight to his cock. He lifted a hand to thread through Kurt’s hair and tried to push him further down his chest, to the waistline of his jeans. “God, I want your mouth. I want you to. Mnn, Kurt, can you…” Blaine huffed a sigh and shifted his hips, bucking them upward for him to understand. “God, do it, please.”

Kurt hadn’t noticed Blaine’s blatant disregard for his order to stay still. He was too busy drowning in the taste of Blaine’s skin, too busy dipping his tongue along every dip, every curve, and every plane of Blaine’s exposed skin. He tasted fantastic and there was no way Kurt was ever going to get enough. His tongue swirled in the base of Blaine’s neck down to his right nipple. He ran rings around the rose colored peak before drawing into his mouth and taking t between his teeth. He did the same to the left and then his tongue was dipping lower to Blaine’s navel, nipping around the edges, laving against Blaine’s abs before trailing back up.

That’s when he felt Blaine rising beneath him, his name tumbling from Blaine’s lips. Oh god that was almost enough to push him over the edge and Blaine hadn’t even touched him. The fog in his brain cleared just enough for him to get what Blaine was hinting at, but also enough for him to realize that Blaine half sitting up and his hips were rising off the bed. When he was supposed to be laying still. 

It wasn’t as if Kurt didn’t want to suck him off. Of course he did, he wanted to suck every inch of Blaine and watch while Blaine came completely undone. In fact that had been his plan to begin with. His mouth was already watering at the thought. Still, Blaine was practically challenging him and he couldn’t ignore it, he couldn’t even if he’d wanted to.

Kurt sat up and as he did so he pushed Blaine back down. “You weren’t supposed to move.” He began, his tone even despite his ragged breathing. His hands moved to Blaine’s fly as he spoke. “I’m going to undress you, then I’m going to suck your dick until you can’t remember your own name, but if you…” Kurt leaned down to kiss Blaine’s stomach lightly. “…Don’t hold still…” He kissed him again, his mouth trailing lower as he began pulling Blaine’s zipper down. “…Then I’m going to…” He jerked Blaine’s pants down past his hips still keeping his dick trapped in his underwear as he leaned down again and bit into to flesh just at his hip bone. “…Make you.” Then he worked the pants and underwear down to the tops of Blaine’s thighs revealing the most gorgeous cock Kurt had ever seen.

He looked up to meet Blaine’s eyes. Kurt licked his lips. God Blaine was hot. “Don’t fucking move Blaine.” He said this a little louder now and then he moved down Blaine’s legs until he was hovering right above his dick. Then he began licking first the tip and then from the base to the tip in single swipes that made his head spin. The taste of Blaine was so concentrated here, so potent. Kurt thought he could do this every day and never get enough. Blaine was salty and spicy and so fucking good it almost hurt. Finally Kurt sank his mouth over Blaine’s cock and hummed in delight as he did so.

His hands held to Blaine’s hips, pinning him, holding him down as Kurt moved above him. He varied the ways that he licked and sucked, listening for reactions from Blaine so he would know when he enjoyed something particular, and then he worked to get more from Blaine, more sounds, more sighs, as his mouth worked up and down the length of Blaine. Everything was wetness and hardness against Kurt’s tongue and he had to force himself to relax his throat because Blaine was bigger than what he’d had lately but all of it was just so perfect. He could lose himself right here, he almost wanted to.

No. That was the first thought to come to Blaine’s mind when Kurt told him that he was supposed to stay still. That thought was quickly followed by the thought that he should move, and that he should move now. The promises that Kurt was making, the way that he promised Blaine wouldn’t be able to think of anything, let alone his own name, made Blaine want to do anything other than sit still. It made him wriggle with anticipation, stilling only when Kurt undid his zipper and leaned down. Blaine’s jaw dropped down as he lifted his head from the bed. He wanted to watch the way that Kurt did it, wanted to learn. That, however, was when instead of taking off his underwear and going down on him, Kurt bit down on the skin right above Blaine’s hipbone and finished his sentence.

Blaine’s hips arched up high and a string of babble started to come from his mouth, far too gone to be embarrassed by the way that the simple nip made him feel. “Kurt, oh God Kurt that was…what in the world was that? Oh, my God that’s so good. I don’t, I don’t, oh, God, yes.” The babble continued as Blaine was stripped and Kurt started to lick wet stripes up the side of his cock, though there were noises that combined with the half words, leaving “Oh God”s hanging to whimper and gasp and try to pull air into his lungs that wouldn’t stay because he needed to exhale and breathe and do it all over again.

Kurt’s mouth felt around his cock. There was the way that his tongue swirled patterns along the underside of it, making Blaine open his mouth but no sound would come out. And then there was the way that his lips felt, and Blaine groaned and panted, wanting, needing more than just this. “Oh, my God Kurt,” Blaine breathed, and then was suddenly struck by the thought that he needed to move, he needed to take Kurt’s challenge. First, he rose his hands to Kurt’s hair again, but he didn’t stop there. Blaine lifted his hips when Kurt would bob down on him, feeling his breath catch in his throat at the way Kurt’s thumbs would dig into the hipbone and Blaine would see spots in his vision.

It still wasn’t enough. Blaine knew what he was getting into when he opened his mouth and breathed “Please, Kurt more,” so softly that he wasn’t even sure he said it, but he couldn’t stop it. His body needed more, needed friction, needed Kurt so badly that he ached with it. He removed his fingers from Kurt’s hair and ran his fingers as far as they would reach down Kurt’s arms and across his back, feeling around his sides and the way that his waist felt as it turned into hips. He was touching Kurt, knowing his body, and it still wasn’t enough. “More.” This time when he said it, he knew Kurt heard him.

Somewhere there was a voice. Kurt was so lost on sucking dick, he felt like the whole world was just Blaine’s perfect dick in his mouth. His jaw ached from the torture he was putting himself through but it didn’t even matter, nothing mattered but this. But then he heard it again, and it was his name keening out of Blaine’s mouth. “Please Kurt, more.” He came to his body then, slowly, sensation spreading out like a wave along his limbs. “More.” Blaine was saying and Kurt had about a dozen realizations at once.

Blaine was touching him, he was writhing around beneath him, and most importantly he was not keeping still. Kurt stopped immediately and pulled off Blaine with a lewd wet sound. Even as he did it, Kurt’s body strained with all its might to answer Blaine with the more he needed. Kurt held tight to whatever control he had left. Three things were warring themselves out in his mind as his eyes trailed up to meet Blaine’s. One, Blaine wasn’t going to lay still and that Kurt and promised to make him if he didn’t. Two, Kurt absolutely loved to hear Blaine beg for more. He’d always enjoyed begging from his partners, but this was so far beyond that. This was like a need that Kurt had never known existed. Finally the third was a just a tiny bit of anger. Here he was giving the greatest head of his life and Blaine couldn’t obey a simple command like don’t move. This left Kurt feeling like Blaine needed to learn a lesson or two. Or four. It was just as thrilling as the other thoughts.

He moved slowly, almost too slowly for his own satisfaction as he crawled up Blaine’s body unit they were face to face and Kurt was back to holding him flat against the bed. “You just had to disobey me, didn’t you?” He put a finger to Blaine’s mouth to keep him quiet while he spoke. “Now I’m going to have to restrain you.” With that he reached over to his bedside table and opened the drawer without taking his eyes off Blaine. He only had to search for a moment and then he was pulling a blue silk scarf from the drawer. Kurt didn’t give Blaine time to see it or react before he was tugging one of Blaine’s hands up and tying it to his headboard. Then he did the same with the other hand, fastening the two together so that Blaine could clasp his hands or grip the headboard if he liked, but he could not slip out of the restraint it provided.

Kurt pulled back and took the sight of Blaine tied to his bed all the way in. “Try it out.” Kurt breathed. “Escape.” He smirked down at Blaine but inside it was all he could do not to just ravish Blaine right then and there. Blaine was trussed up and only half undressed and it made Kurt’s cock throb painfully.

As soon as Blaine lost contact with Kurt’s mouth, he whined and pushed his hips upward, trying in vain to chase the wet heat and pleasure. “Nng, Kurt, don’t…” His plea for Kurt to come back trailed off slowly as a finger was pressed to his mouth. Blaine’s chest rose and fell more quickly a he was promised to be restrained. He’d never even thought of restraining someone as a sexual turn-on. Sure, he’d heard about people who liked being tied up, and had laughed off tales of kinky sexual escapades at his old school, but it had never affected him. Now, though, Blaine’s lips were quivering with Kurt’s promise.

While Kurt was speaking, Blaine opened his mouth to talk over him, to try to plead his way into getting Kurt’s mouth back on his cock. But instead of being able to speak, Blaine could taste Kurt’s finger, the slight salty taste of sweat off his own body while his hands were all over Blaine’s body. In a quick move, Blaine pulled Kurt’s finger into his mouth with his bottom lip and tongue, and began to suck on it lightly, whimpering with anticipation and a little bit afraid at how much he liked having something in his mouth. He sucked until the finger was pulled away to grab something from his dresser drawer, licking his lips and waiting.

All of a sudden, Blaine’s hands were above his head, tied to the headboard. He gasped and looked up and behind him, seeing the remnants of a blue scarf. It was soft against his wrists, and it only took Blaine a moment to recognize the material as silk. When Kurt told him to escape, Blaine yanked his wrists down, trying to pull them down and out of the loops of the knots. When that didn’t work, he pushed his hands together and tried again, groaning in frustration as it didn’t work. And then Blaine cock jumped and the groan turned into a whimper as he realized that he couldn’t get out. The thought of being there just for Kurt drove him a little more than crazy. His mouth went dry.

“Kurt, please, I, don’t…” Blaine trailed off as he tried to collect his thoughts. He blinked and took a deep breath. He wanted more. His entire body screamed for it, but the words were lost because he hardly knew exactly what more consisted of, let alone how to ask for it without blushing and stammering through it like the awkward virgin. “Wait, come back, Kurt. Closer, please, come closer.” Watching Kurt stare at him was hot, but he felt vulnerable and naked without Kurt’s touch. “Touch me, will you? Or something. I need…more. Please.”


	9. The Next Step

Oh but Blaine was fantastic like this. The way his eyebrows drew together in concentration as he tugged gently at the silk and then harder. The way his mouth fell open and little noises of frustration spilled out. The way his feet struggled for purchase on the mattress so that he could pull at the restraint even harder. The way his cock bounced with every movement, just waiting to be touched once more. All of it was so perfect, Blaine writhing on his sheets, that Kurt forgot himself for a moment and just stared from his perch below Blaine’s waist.

Blaine was speaking again, and Kurt was coming to himself more and more with every word. Oh Blaine was begging. Again. Kurt just had to think that Blaine was made for this. His voice sounded so wanton, so wrecked, it was everything Kurt could hope for. Kurt wanted to tell him to beg some more, that he was a little slut that could never get enough, that he was dying for it and Kurt was going to give it to him, but his mouth felt dry. He crawled back up and lowered himself over Blaine’s body and kissed him hard and deep. Kurt’s hands slid over Blaine’s ribs and down to his hips where he held on, fingers digging into soft flesh.

Then Kurt rolled to the side, pulling away from the kiss so he could continue to undress Blaine. After Blaine’s shoes he pulled the jeans and underwear off quickly if not elegantly and began peppering Blaine’s legs and thighs with kisses and nips, stopping to suck at the warm salty skin on the inside of Blaine’s knee, on his inner thigh, on his hipbone. Finally he ran his tongue in lazy circles around Blaine’s cock and balls, but never quite touching them. He wanted this to last as long as it possibly could and he wanted to see what else Blaine might be prompted to say.

Finally he sank his mouth back over Blaine’s shaft, hollowed out his cheeks and sucked the head of Blaine’s dick with all he had. Kurt carefully tucked his lips around his teeth and then began to slide his mouth up and down, his tongue swirling along the ridge under Blaine’s dick as his head bobbed up and down. He thought he would never lose the thrill of having Blaine’s taste on his tongue. First it was fast, and then slow, but never for any regular length of time. Just when Blaine began to tense, to get close to losing it, Kurt backed down, his movements slowing, his suction lessening. He poured all of the confusion and anger and lust and need he had into it. He couldn’t sort it out but it didn’t matter because Blaine was here with him now in this moment. Kurt could hear himself moaning, he knew his hands roamed without control, and he felt hot and constricted in his clothes. Blaine was getting close again so Kurt pulled off slowly and ran his tongue down, and further down, over Blaine’s balls, until Kurt hand to use his hands on Blaine’s legs to prompt him to open up for him.

“Relax.” He urged Blaine as his spread Blaine’s legs slowly and placed quick kisses along both thighs. “Open up for me.” He whispered.

When Kurt lowered his body back over Blaine’s, Blaine felt a breath rush from his lips that he wasn’t aware he’d been holding. He could feel the tremor of the exhale on his stomach as he pursed his lips and sighed, then pulled in another shaky breath to try to calm his nerves, which didn’t help, but only succeeded in making him feel a little lightheaded. Blaine’s mouth opened when Kurt’s fingers held onto his hips, but no sound came out. The way that Kurt’s thumbs rubbed against his hips made him feel like he was floating just a couple of inches above reality.

And then Kurt was pulling away and undressing him. Blaine helped where he could, trying to push off his jeans with his feet, but mostly he was stuck trying to pull on the restraints of the scarf and huffing as he tried to move. “What are you—wait, don’t, I can’t…” Blaine’s mouth started moving before his mind had a chance to think about it as Kurt teased him, kissing his thighs, up to his hipbone, behind his knees. Blaine’s breath came in softer, shallower pants, and he squirmed, lifting his knees so his feet were flat on the bed when Kurt sank back down on him. Blaine’s head fell backward and he tried to remember to breathe with the way that Kurt’s mouth was moving on him. It was never just slow or fast or hard or soft, and Blaine was quickly losing himself in sensation.

Just as he was opening his mouth to try to tell Kurt something, anything to warn him about the fact that he was close, Kurt slowed down. Blaine’s hips stuttered upward of their own accord and Blaine whined, deep and heavy. “No, Kurt, don’t stop, please. Oh, God don’t stop. I—Kurt, the…oh please.” Blaine was pleased at least, that Kurt didn’t pull entirely off of him. His breath evened out marginally, and he was breathing again, able to think clearly enough to form sentences in his head before they came out of his mouth. That was, until he was close again and Kurt pulled off of him. This time, Blaine snapped his head up and pulled against the restraints on his wrists, one leg falling flat against the bed again. “Kurt,” he moaned, blinking without really seeing and thoroughly unable to think of anything but the name that was on his lips.

But Kurt’s tongue didn’t stop. Blaine dropped his other leg down, spreading them open when Kurt urged him. He was acting in a haze, not really thinking about what was going on until he was told softly to open up. That cleared the fog in his mind enough to look up at Kurt. He didn’t quite know how to ask what was going on, what he was going to ask for, or how far Kurt intended this to go. All he knew was that he didn’t really want it to stop. “Kurt,” Blaine breathed, thighs quivering as he felt soft lips pressing soft kisses to them. He paused, then thought. He flexed his hands. “Don’t stop.”

Once Kurt was settled comfortably between Blaine’s legs he began running his finger up and down the space between Blaine’s balls and his hole, slowly, teasing, taking time to nuzzle Blaine’s thighs with his nose. Finally he replaced his finger with his tongue. A hot stripe of want flashed down Kurt’s back as he reached the puckered skin there and ran his tongue around it in slow circles. Here Blaine was concentrated, all spice and tang and Kurt realized he could just continue on like this for hours, something he almost never had the patience for. Usually rimming was something he used as a direct precursor to fucking, but right now he just wanted to make Blaine come undone. Slowly.

When he was satisfied that Blaine was sufficiently enticed by the circles he dipped his tongue into Blaine, just a little. Then a little more. He thought he could hear how pleased Blaine sounded but then he realized that the sounds were coming from him. Kurt lost t or a moment, plunging his tongue rapidly in and out just enjoying his own pleasure for a moment. Then he went back to work putting his focus on Blaine. He wriggled his tongue up and down and side to side, stretching Blaine’s hole just a tiny bit here and there. Then he buried his face in Blaine’s ass trying to get his tongue n deeper. He knew logically that it probably couldn’t reach Blaine’s prostate but he had to try, he had to try everything with Blaine and everything felt too wonderful to stop and analyze. He just went with it. He hummed and moaned against Blaine’s sensitive flesh and didn’t even know how long he was there, just lost in Blaine and the feel of Blaine squeezing his tongue. Certainly long enough to make his tongue ache, but even as he was forced to pull back and stop, Kurt wanted more. 

Kurt pulled himself up and off the bed and finally took time to peel off his own clothes. He wanted to feel the press of Blaine’s skin against his own. He needed to feel the slide of slippery sweat and he needed to be inside Blaine, soon. He paused for a moment at the foot of his bed just staring down at Blaine. He was so hot, but he was so much more than that. Kurt would never admit it, but Blaine was beautiful lying there like that, like a gift, just waiting to be opened. He wanted to shake tat thought loose but it stuck never mind how ridiculous it sounded in his head. This was just a fuck right? Oh but Blaine’s skin was flushed and his cheeks were bright red, and his eyes were have lidded with the lust Kurt felt certain was mirrored in his own gaze. Blaine’s beautifully sculpted arms stretched just short of cruelly above his head and his usually perfectly gelled hair was starting to come undone in the heat of it all. His chest and abs were so much more defined than Kurt’s and they led down to narrow hips that framed the single most gorgeous cock Kurt had ever seen up close. It was thick and dark and the memory of it on his tongue was something Kurt knew he would never get tired of. Not to mention Blaine’s ass, his ridiculously round ass, and that was it. That was all Kurt could take.

He was back on the bed in an instant crawling up Blaine’s body and pressing his own down against Blaine, rubbing, his mouth seeking Blaine’s, his hand fumbling once more in his drawer, this time for lube. For just a moment he came to and pulled back to look down at Blaine, but he didn’t pull back far, he just whispered against Blaine’s mouth and searched Blaine’s eyes with his own. It took every last bit of his control not to just take what he wanted, what he needed right then.

“I want you, all of you, tell me now if you don’t want me, and…and…I’ll stop.” Kurt hadn’t meant to sound so hopeful or so out of breath or so damn needy but it was too late and the words hung between them while he waited for a reply.

Blaine’s legs were relaxed for a moment, when Kurt’s finger was slowly working its way down, and he breathed deep and even as new sensation trickled through his veins and spread slowly through his body. And then there was Kurt’s tongue. Blaine’s legs tensed and he whimpered at the first pass of Kurt’s tongue, and he exhaled and shuddered clenching his hands into fists when he did it again. “Kurt, that’s so…good, oh God, Kurt you…good Lord.”

When Kurt’s tongue dipped inside of him, Blaine’s eyelids fluttered and he tried to pull himself up and away from the feeling because he couldn’t think right. His first thought was that it couldn’t feel good, that this shouldn’t feel good. Blaine’s mind tried to process the thought that Kurt’s tongue was inside of him, and that he could hardly breathe with how good it felt, but he was also trying to tell himself that this shouldn’t feel good, that this should be weird. Instead, all that he could manage to think was “Oh, my God Kurt, yes.”

That word seemed to open a floodgate of other sounds and movements. Every time Kurt’s tongue moved or shifted, went a little deeper, Blaine’s mouth opened of its own accord, peppering the air with little words. When Kurt first started to hum against Blaine’s ass, Blaine gasped and pushed his hips down, trying to keep his thighs spread open and relaxed but failing miserably. “Yes, God, Kurt…That feels…so good, please don’t, yes.” But then Kurt was gone, again. Blaine growled, the sound ripping from his throat before he could stop it, and he followed Kurt with his eyes, trying to sit up and stopped by the scarf. He pulled against the offending article, irritated and needy and wishing hard that Kurt would stop going away because every nerve of his body was singing and he needed Kurt to do something.

Blaine continued to struggle until Kurt started to undress, his breath leaving him quick like he’d been punched in the gut. Kurt’s torso was lean and slender, not necessarily muscular, but it was toned and Blaine’s hand opened reflexively, wanting to touch it. And then Kurt’s pants were off and Blaine was left staring at the first cock he’d seen other than his own, and Blaine’s jaw opened a little wider, tongue swiping over his lower lip reflexively. God, he is so damn attractive. Blaine’s eyes widened when he thought the word damn. Obviously, Kurt was doing something to him, but Blaine was more worried by the fact that he didn’t mind what was happening.

Before he had a chance to touch, or even voice the fact that he wanted to touch, Kurt was back on top of him, kissing him. Blaine kissed back hard, wrapping his legs around Kurt’s naked waist to try to keep him there, to keep him from leaving again. He couldn’t use his hands, but damn it, he was going to do whatever he could to get him closer. When Kurt broke off to rummage in his drawer and came back, Blaine hardly let him get through a few words without kissing him, taking advantage of the fact that Kurt thought he would be able to talk against Blaine’s lips. Blaine had other ideas.

And then there it was. Kurt was offering to stop, and all Blaine had to say was no, or yes, or something, and Kurt would stop. If there was something that Blaine wanted less than for this to stop, his mind refused to recognize it as valid. He kissed Kurt again, then once more, and then again and again until he realized that he hadn’t answered Kurt’s question. He broke away panting and flushed. “Please don’t stop. Please. Whatever you do, please don’t stop. Please. Oh, God.” He had to stop talking to kiss Kurt again to remind himself of what the hell he was feeling. “God, I’m on…my body is on fire, Kurt. Please, please don’t stop. Don’t stop, okay? Please.”

Kurt was used to control. He was used to getting what he wanted from whomever he wanted and walking away when it was done. That was what this was supposed to be; getting Blaine out of his system. Taking the use of Blaine’s body and turning into stress relief. Kurt wasn’t sure when that plan flew out the window, but now, with Blaine’s strong legs wrapped around him, pinning him in place and Blaine’s tongue mapping out every crevice inside his mouth, Kurt knew the truth. There was a need inside him, deep n his core that could only be answered by the need inside Blaine. It didn’t matter when it had begun or how it had begun it only mattered that they were here now, that they had this night to slake their desires. Kurt wanted to fight it, but his body had other plans, and when Blaine was talking his own mouth was running little kisses along Blaine’s jaw and his earlobe, sliding along skin, suckling and nipping just below Blaine’s earlobe, below his jaw. When Blaine asked him not to stop, begged him not to stop, Kurt shuddered all over. If Blaine hadn’t done the begging, he might have. 

Kurt kissed Blaine long and slow, his body sliding over Blaine’s while he tried to keep some grip on reality, on what he was supposed to be doing. Right, the lube. The lid popped open with a soft click and maneuvered his hands so the liquid dribbled across his finger tips but it wasn’t enough so he reached around and poured it right over Blaine’s crack, hoping it would be enough for now, because right now he had to touch Blaine. He needed to be inside Blaine right this minute. He tossed the lube, but not far, and slid one finger between Blaine’s ass cheeks, loving the heat that pulsated just beyond his fingers. Then he was there, right at Blaine’s puckered hole and he needed to go easy and take it slow but h just couldn’t and before he could think one finger was buried up to the knuckle and he was swirling it around, sliding it in and out.

To make up for the sudden intrusion Kurt worked to kiss Blaine senseless. He captured his mouth as hard and fast as he could before the second finger joined the first. Kurt didn’t know what to do with the sensory overload that was happening inside of him. Blaine was so fucking tight, and so incredibly hot against his fingers. The drag was almost impossible, what would it feel like on his cock? Kurt tried, he was trying, he knew this was going to be hard on Blaine no mattered what he did, but it didn’t have to be torture as long as he could do hat needed dong. So while he trembled from head to toe from the force of holding himself back, Kurt went about stretching Blaine’s hole first one way then the other. He peppered Blaine’s face and neck with kisses one minute and tried to shove his tongue down Blaine’s throat the next. Eventually he ventured to add a third finger and when they slid n he held very still, kissing Blaine, murmuring to him, he didn’t even know what he was saying because his mind was too full of its own chatter.

Just a little bit more, just a little longer, you have to wait, you have to hold on, just a little bit more. Whatever other motivations he harbored, Kurt knew that if he fucked this up it would end. Blaine would never allow him near again if he rushed this and hurt him. So he didn’t rush. He prolonged it. He drug his hips forward and up rubbing their dicks together in the sweat and precum that lay pooled between their bodies. Kurt panted and ached and needed, but he did not rush. His fingers worked in and out, moving now to the rhythm of their hips grinding together until Kurt didn’t even know how long he’d been at it. He was listening to Blaine’s stuttered breathing and the breathy moans that he…no that was Kurt. Those sounds were coming from him.

Just like that Kurt lost it. His fingers slid out of Blaine and he pulled his body across Blaine’s to reach for the condom. He found it and was tearing it open with his teeth when he caught sight of Blaine’s face. 

Blaine wasn’t sure that he was prepared for what came next. He heard the click of a bottle, and somewhere in his mind it registered that it was probably lube. The distant thought was confirmed when Blaine started against the cold liquid. The moment he opened his mouth to comment on it, Kurt’s finger was there, warming it, pressing, and then pressing into him. Blaine inhaled hard and started to make a sound, but aborted the sound halfway through, instead leaving his mouth open and gaping to try to make a noise. And then Kurt was moving, not giving his body time to adjust, to get used to the way that it felt. Blaine’s face contorted into a half-frown, but then Kurt started sucking up a mark under his jaw. Blaine’s jaw worked for a second as he tried to take a breath, and then when he could, he was talking. “Kurt, shit, Kurt.” The curse rolled off his tongue and Blaine jerked at his arms again. “Kurt you have to let me go, Kurt, shit please let me go. God, God I just, I need…God, to just, to hold on. Please, Kurt, oh God.”

After that, Blaine’s mouth was taken in kisses to distract him, and the only noises Blaine made were small whimpers and sounds that he could make from deep in his throat. He could hear the sound of Kurt’s moans on top of him, but he could feel the way that Kurt’s fingers were moving quickly, a second one having joined the first. Blaine whined. He wanted this to happen. He just needed it to happen…slower. His entire body was a ball of nerves, and Kurt knew what he was doing, but Blaine wasn’t used to this. He wanted to ask Kurt to hold on for a moment, just a second, or to move just a little bit more slowly, but he was afraid of Kurt stopping entirely, pulling away and not letting him experience all of this. Instead, Blaine tried to bite back a grimace and his toes curled to brace himself against the pain.

Kurt’s third finger made Blaine lose his breath. “Ah, Kurt,” he whimpered, his voice quivering on the other boy’s name. He was happy when Kurt stilled against him, basking in the whispered words and quiet encouragement. The pain was still there, but it was flooded by flashes of pleasure. After a moment of stillness, Kurt was moving again, but he was moving his hips, rubbing their cocks together as his fingers shifted. Blaine took shallow, heavy breaths and tried to keep up, tried to keep himself together.

When Kurt pulled his fingers out of Blaine, he winced, knowing what came next. He heard the foil sound of the condom ripping and his eyes widened for a second. He needed to speak up. He reasoned to himself that he’d rather risk the entire thing stopping rather than saying nothing and ending up regretting his decision to tell Kurt to keep going, to not stop. “Kurt, wait,” he whispered. “You, I mean…I want you. I do. I just…I haven’t ever…Can you please…I just. Slower. Please.” Blaine fell silent, then, his whispers turning into wordless murmurs that trailed off as he looked into Kurt’s face but couldn’t meet his eyes. His cheeks colored a darker red as he opened his mouth again. “Or, um, more…lube.” The last word was almost silent.


	10. Slowing Down

Kurt tried to still his movements as Blaine worked his way through what he needed to say. Of course, Kurt knew these things, and he was trying he really was, but looking down at Blaine he knew he could do better. He just had to. He kissed Blaine once, chastely, before stroking his cheek and looking into his wide eyes. “It’s okay.” Kurt was panting and he hadn’t realized it, and god his voice, it was wrecked. “Slower, more lube, its okay to tell me, anything Blaine.” He punctuated this with another kiss. “I’m listening. Now I’m listening. Kurt wanted to say more, or he wanted not to have to say anything really but Blaine needed him to speak and he hoped he was making some kind of sense because all he could really focus on was how badly he needed to be inside Blaine right now. Now, now, right now, faster, already. 

He couldn’t work his brain around things like caring about Blaine’s needs, wanting Blaine to get off with him so they could do this again, and again, and again. It was already too much, so he decided to leave t be. He pushed it down with all the other things about how great this all felt and why he didn’t hate Blaine all of the sudden. He brought himself back to the base feeling of it all. He wanted pleasure, and to get he would give it. There was something about Blaine hat made him need it, need the give and take. He needed Blaine’s breathy sighs and throaty moans almost as much as he needed air. As much as he wanted to be buried inside Blaine right this minute he also wanted Blaine to continue begging for more.

“I’ve got you.” He added softly as his breathing returned to something more manageable and he pulled back so that he could once more coat his fingers in lube. This felt like moving through water, slow motion compared to the frantic moments that came before. This time his claimed Blaine’s mouth as his fingers worked back inside Blaine’s ass, and Kurt made a point to keep his fingers and tongue in unison, fucking Blaine slowly from both ends. He couldn’t stop his hips slowly beginning to join the rhythm as his hard on pressed and rubbed against Blaine’s hip, but he did stay in control of himself. For real this time, not just in his mind. Blaine felt slightly looser now, but Kurt knew there would be some initial pain. So he did the only thing he could think to do. He slid very carefully and very slowly out of Blaine and began untying the scarf that held his hands. If everything worked out the way he hoped t would he could always have Blaine again, and take him while he was tied, but right now, he just couldn’t. It lost the allure it had before. He wanted Blaine’s hands on him as he took him and this was the only way that could happen. When he’d freed Blaine’s hands he fumbled around on the bed for the almost opened condom wrapper and found it.

Kurt thought of all the ways this could happen, and he remembered his first time as well, and the few other times he’d taken someone elses virginity. He’d learned right away he preferred control and he preferred those with experience, like him. This time would have to be slow, at Blaine’s pace. Blaine needed to be able to come one way or another and he wouldn’t be able to if he was in too much pain. Kurt hadn’t come his first time because his partner was an ass and didn’t even offer the courtesy of a reach around, and Kurt had never gone near him again.

Condom in hand, Kurt moved up to Blaine’s side and pulled him close to whisper in his ear. “I’m going to go slow Blaine, so slow, but keep talking to me, okay? I’m going to take care of you.” Kurt swallowed hard and nearly choked, but the words were out and for what it was worth they were true. He pulled on Blaine’s shoulder just a little bit. “Roll towards me now.” He whispered. Then he pulled the condom out and rolled it down over his cock and tried to keep his focus off what was about to happen. Blaine had to come and he had to come first. Maybe they could go again later. Right now wasn’t about him and for the first time in a very long time, Kurt felt nervous, and unsure. He kept that all to himself though as he reached over and hitched Blaine’s leg up over his hip. At this angle he wouldn’t be able to get very deep, but for Blaine that should be just about right. 

“Ready?” He asked Blaine quietly as he ran his hand over Blaine’s leg and hip, slowly.

Kurt slowed down. Blaine could feel his breathing rapidly return to something that resembled healthy as Kurt told him to talk, tell him what he needed because Kurt was promising to give him what he could. Blaine managed a small smile and let out a soft breath as the weight that had settled into the pit of his stomach disappeared. It was replaced with something more fierce and pressing, something that left hi mouth dry and his body trembling. The desire that had disappeared beneath the discomfort came back with a tremendous force, and Blaine was trembling underneath Kurt’s hands as his fingers pushed into him again. This time, it was slow, and Kurt’s kisses had Blaine trying to decide whether he wanted to rock down onto his fingers, or to pull up and kiss Kurt harder. His indecision left Blaine making small, needy noises into Kurt’s mouth as he kissed him back. His eyes fluttered closed and slowly, he began to rock his hips against Kurt’s fingers while pleasure spread through his body slow and warm.

Blaine’s thoughts were controlled entirely by the way that Kurt was handling him. When it was fast and angry and hurried, about getting off and control, all Blaine could think about was the way that he was falling apart under Kurt’s hands. He wanted to hit him, a thought that hadn’t crossed Blaine’s mind since a fight in the fourth grade with Trevor Binton after he’d stolen his fruit cup and then pushed him in the dirt in his new outfit. However, Blaine also wanted to kiss Kurt until his lips were numb and swollen, and he wanted Kurt to hold him down and force him to do what he was told. This, though, the slow burning desire, was eating away at every one of those thoughts. Blaine was struggling to hold onto one negative thought about Kurt, filled instead with thoughts of needing to hold onto Kurt and feelings that were definitely not hatred.

When he felt the silk loosen its hold on his wrists, Blaine snapped back to the present, blinking himself down to earth. He moved his wrists in small circles as the blood resumed its normal circulation and lifted a trembling hand to rest on Kurt’s arm. It stayed there for only a moment before skittering up to rest in the small hairs beside Kurt’s ear. He would have kissed Kurt, but he was looking for the condom. Blaine bit his lip in thought for a moment before he settled on verbalizing what he thought, remembering Kurt’s request for him to talk. “Thank you,” he whispered, even though he didn’t need to. His voice had been working against him from pretty much the moment that he’d been tugged inside of the room, sometimes too rough, sometimes nearly gone completely. Now was one of those times, but his voice grew stronger as he continued to talk. “Thank you so much. I just want to be able to…” Blaine turned pink and closed his mouth, struggled, then added “hold you. Or the sheets.” His eyes widened as Blaine shocked himself by the things that ran through his head and out of his mouth without a filter, but it was already spoken.

Blaine sighed, thankful for the opportunity to focus on something other than the way his filter had disappeared, as Kurt whispered into his ear. Hot air hit the shell of Blaine’s ear and he quivered for a moment at the sheer intimacy of the act, and then nodded jerkily at Kurt’s words, incapable of forming a coherent reply. “I’m going to take care of you.” That was the last thing that Blaine had expected Kurt to say, but he’d said it, and then he was rolling onto his side and readjusting in small shifts once his leg was over Kurt’s hip. Blaine heard the wrinkle of the condom wrapper and glanced down to watch Kurt roll it onto himself. He tensed, then forced himself to relax.

The warmth of Kurt’s hand on his leg made Blaine’s shoulders go slack and his body relax. He leaned his neck forward and kissed Kurt softly on the lips before he pulled back and nodded. “Yeah, I’m ready.” He wanted to warn Kurt to be careful, but he felt like it was unnecessary. Blaine convinced himself that he was just being overcautious, and that this would feel good. Everything else had, especially when Kurt had actually slowed down. And Blaine wanted this. Desire ran through his entire body, and it seemed like it was trying to drown him. Blaine was more than willing to go under. “Well, I’m nervous, really. But if you stop I think I might actually explode.” With a chuckle, Blaine splayed his fingers across Kurt’s shoulder blade, flexed, then relaxed. “I, I liked the way it felt…with your fingers, so I mean, I should, this should…” Blaine gave a nervous chuckled and pressed his lips tightly together for a moment, then exhaled slowly.

“I’m ready.”

In that moment, that space of a moment between when he’d asked Blaine if he was ready and when Blaine finished answering him, the world changed. Kurt couldn’t have said then just how it changed, there wasn’t time to stop and think through the whole meaning of it all, but he knew it just as sure as he knew that what he was about to do was not fuck Blaine Anderson. Maybe that’s what he’d set out to do but somewhere along the way that idea had been covertly taken over by the need please Blaine. All of that, the world shifting the realization that this wasn’t just another fuck, or a series of upcoming fucks, all of that was reflected in Blaine’s liquid amber eyes in that tiny moment of waiting. Kurt wanted to dredge up the fear from before, when the weight of all of this had felt like too much and he’d been secretly terrified, but it wouldn’t come. Not with Blaine’s open gaze there, just there before him, and Blaine’s voice, saying that he was ready, and that little nervous laugh. That one laugh that somehow summed up everything inside of Kurt in a way no sound ever should. No matter what happened from this moment on, Kurt knew that he was tied to Blaine and it should have been horrifying to realize that but instead it just was. This wasn’t the same world that had existed a moment ago, everything was new here. Anything was possible.

Kurt felt a smile tug at his mouth and he was smiling at Blaine, to reassure him maybe, to convey that he understood what Blaine was going through, also because how could he not while Blaine clung to him like that? Then he was leaning forward, kissing Blaine just one last time before he reached between them again and took himself in hand. He rubbed slow circles with the head of his cock against Blaine’s entrance and then he was slowly pushing inside. Blaine was still so fucking tight. So tight. “It’s okay.” He heard himself say. “Try bearing down, push against me and relax, and breathe.” He didn’t know how he was forming words or thinking words at all because he was inside Blaine and it felt even more incredible than he’d imagined. Blaine was all tight heat and closeness in a way that had never meant anything to Kurt but suddenly seemed like the only thing that mattered. He leaned forward slightly and brushed Blaine’s lips lightly, still he held his place in Blaine and didn’t push any further in.

His body began to shake from the effort of holding back but soon he felt Blaine’s muscles give a tiny bit and he pushed in again, just an inch at a time, always stopping and searching Blaine’s face for any sign that the pain was too much. His free arm stroked down Blaine’s back and he shifted himself a tiny bit closer to Blaine before sliding in the last little bit. He was only about halfway in but that was all this position would allow for. Kurt held very still then, his hand pressing into the small of Blaine’s back and his lips pressing Blaine’s in a silent request. He would wait. Just like this, until he was sure Blaine was okay. It had to be good for Blaine; it had to be because the thought that he could lose this was too much to handle right now.

Just that tiny half thought made Kurt shiver as he waited for some sort of sign from Blaine. So he pressed his lips closer to Blaine’s and drew him in to a deep, lingering kiss. Nothing mattered, that was the ironic thing. Ten minutes, twenty minutes ago, Kurt had thought the only that mattered was fucking Blaine into the mattress. Many times. Now, nothing mattered but this, and Kurt didn’t even have a name for this or a point of reference for what this might be. It just was, and it was everything and Kurt’s chest actually ached from the sweetness of it and his heart stuttered as he poured his whole being into that kiss, that space, that moment.

In the time that it took Blaine to form the words “Oh, God,” when he felt Kurt’s cock pressing against him, Kurt was already pushing in, and Blaine’s mind went blank, then started racing with thoughts and feelings. The first feeling to register and stick was discomfort, which quickly gave way to pain. It was never too much, but his face turned up into a wince for a moment at the initial shock of it anyway. His fingers curled downward on Kurt’s back and held tight, muscles tense and trying and failing to relax and go back to the calm he had moments before. “Hurts, Kurt,” he whimpered, then tried to breathe in again. “Does it always hurt?” Blaine’s mind was swimming with thoughts that pulled him away from the moment. He wanted Kurt to stop. He wanted Kurt to do anything but stop. He wanted Kurt to hold him tighter and whisper in his ear and kiss him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Blaine squeezed his eyes shut, trying to fend off the attack of his mind on how he was feeling.

Somewhere, from in the back of his mind, Blaine heard Kurt. “It’s okay.” Blaine wondered absently if it was his mind playing tricks on him, telling him that Kurt had heard what he wanted and answered his thoughts. But then the talking continued, instructions on how to deal with the discomfort. His eyes blinked open at this, and Blaine could still feel Kurt, very hard and very real, pushing inside of him, but he could also feel the way that Kurt’s lips brushed against his so softly that Blaine wasn’t sure he’d really felt them at all. Blaine took a deep breath in, then exhaled, and all at once it was like he could function again. He relaxed and did what Kurt told him to do, pushing his hips down and making sure to take deep, even breaths.

In between breaths and Kurt’s shallow almost thrusts, something gave, and Blaine could feel Kurt pushing further into him. Blaine cried out softly and tilted his head forward so that he was resting his forehead against Kurt’s. He took another deep breath, and air came cool and welcome into his lungs before Kurt stilled and was kissing him again. Blaine caught Kurt’s lips and his hand relaxed against Kurt’s back before sliding down to his waist. Blaine kissed him back slow and thoroughly, and by the time he pulled away, his cheeks were pink, but he wasn’t panting. His breathing was just deeper, coming from somewhere in his stomach rather than his chest. When he trusted his voice not to fail him, Blaine swallowed and opened his mouth. “Feels full,” he said softly, talking almost but not quite into Kurt’s ear. “Not…it doesn’t hurt. Not anymore, but it’s different. I want, I need, I don’t know.”

Blaine shifted his leg on Kurt’s hip and pulled his hips upward, off of Kurt, before pushing slowly back down, sinking until he was back in his starting position. The pleasure that thrummed through his body made Blaine freeze. He blinked, swallowed, and then took a breath. And then another one for good measure. “Oh.” Blaine licked his lips. “That, Kurt. I need that.” So he did it again, lifting his head so that he was looking into Kurt’s eyes, and then he shifted his hips up to do it again, earning a slightly different angle, and Blaine gasped, pleasure flickering through his eyes and across his face. Distantly, Blaine registered that this was sex, that he was no longer a virgin. And then the thought that came immediately afterward was that he couldn’t believe he’d waited so long to feel this kind of pleasure. “I, you can move, Kurt. Please move. I need you to, okay?” His voice grew more frantic the more he spoke, not knowing where it was coming from. One thing he knew for certain, though, was that every second that Kurt was still was another second that he was missing out on the way it felt.

Kurt was back to swallowing hard and he could feel sweat breaking out across his forehead and trickling down the back of his neck while he held to Blaine. Hearing that Blaine was hurting froze Kurt in place. He’d known to expect and thought he was prepared for it but the actual words stuttering out of Blaine’s mouth lanced through Kurt like a knife. Blaine was so much better at vocalizing things that Kurt felt shamed by his lack of whispered reassurances. Instead he trailed light kisses across Blaine’s mouth and waited. He didn’t wait long though; Blaine was speaking again, almost right into his ear. Kurt shivered again, involuntarily, and forced his hips still once more. Blaine didn’t hurt now. Blaine wasn’t hurting, he had to repeat his to himself several times in order for everything to fully register ad sink in but before he could react Blaine did the most unexpected thing, he slid his hips back and up off of Kurt and then down once more. Their eyes met and held and Blaine’s mouth formed a perfect O as the exclamation fell from his lips. Kurt had no idea what his own face was doing because the feeling of Blaine shuddering and clenching around him was overwhelming all his other senses. 

Blaine repeated the motion and it was slow and torturous and so damn good, so much better than anything, ever. The drag, the heat, the loss of all control, and everything was Blaine. Blaine in his arms and Blaine around his dick and if there were any conscious thoughts left they were gone now. There was just one thing that sunk in, that seeped through the fog of lust and need clouding up his bran and that was, “You can move, Kurt. Please move. I need you to.” Kurt nodded and his lips parted but no sound came out. He squeezed his eyes shut just for a second blocking out the warm bright eyes in front of him. Kurt tried again, “Okay…okay.” He whispered.

Kurt hadn’t realized just how hard he’d been fighting to be still until he tried to move and found his body refusing to work with him. He had a moment of embarrassment and was smiling sort of crookedly at Blaine before he could stop himself. Then his muscles relaxed and his hips pulled back a tiny bit and the embarrassment passed and was rapidly replaced by a racing need fr more of everything. Or just more of this. Just this.

He held Blaine as carefully as he could, but Kurt knew that he was holding tight, one hand around Blaine’s back and the other trapped for the time being between their bodies. Blaine’s leg, the one over his hip was like a comfort, a warm weight pressing him down and holding him steady as he gently rocked back and forth inside of Blaine. Kurt wanted to bury his face against Blaine, to hide his eyes because he didn’t understand this and he didn’t know what Blaine would see in his face but every time he moved to do just that some new feeling would fleet across Blaine’s face once more capturing Kurt’s attention and pinning him in place. His eyes stayed locked there on Blaine’s face watching, waiting to see what might skirt across Blaine’s features next. 

He focused there, on Blaine’s eyes, on his mouth, on the sounds coming out of Blaine because if he let his focus drift lower then he would lose it and flip Blaine to his back and pound into him senselessly. He wanted to, god he needed to, but this was too perfect as it was and there was no way he was going to ruin it. So he kept his pace as steady he could and when he could no longer hold back Blaine’s name tumbled from his lips and he pulled his free hand loose enough to take Blaine’s cock in his hand and he slowly began to jerk him off in time to his thrusting. “Blaine, mmm, Blaine…ohhhh…nnnnng.”

Blaine. Skin. Sliding. Rocking, faster, not too fast, perfect, beautiful, “Blaine.” Whispered like a prayer against Blaine’s mouth and it as the only word in the entire world that meant anything to Kurt. Blaine, Blaine, Blaine. 

The sounds that Blaine could hear were quiet noises of whispered groans from Kurt and his own broken whimpers and half inhales as Kurt moved. It was still slow, so achingly slow, and Blaine grasped tighter at Kurt’s back, trying to pull him in closer, deeper. He blinked, and when his eyes opened again, Blaine saw Kurt’s face. His lips were parted slightly, leaving enough room to exhale small puffs of air and to inhale, only to leave a different, more erotic sound rolling off of his tongue. Blaine made a half-noise: Kurt’s lips were gorgeous. They were plump and kiss bruised to a dark red, and Blaine couldn’t help himself from leaning in for just a moment to press a soft kiss against them. When he pulled back, he saw Kurt’s cheeks, flushed red, and Blaine was sure his own cheeks were red to match. There was something about the color on Kurt’s cheeks, though, that was drawing Blaine in.

Blaine glanced down at their bodies, intertwined, and he was hard-pressed to do anything other than shift his hips in time with Kurt’s shallow thrusts and try to remember to breathe. When he focused, forced himself to pinpoint one thing, he could hear the small shifts the mattress was making underneath them. He closed his eyes and let himself feel and hear, and the way that Kurt was thrusting inside of him was intensified. Blaine opened his eyes and clenched around Kurt, tightening both the inner ring of his muscles and the cheeks of his ass. Then, the next time Kurt pushed forward into him, Blaine could feel everything. His eyes raked back up to Kurt’s face and saw the lines in his forehead of concentration, then leveled to his eyes.

Surprise ran across Blaine’s face as he saw Kurt’s eyes. They were hooded and almost unfocused, but there was something behind them that Blaine couldn’t quite decipher. The most surprising, though, was the fact that Kurt was staring right into his eyes, and Blaine looked back at him, searching for some form of understanding until he heard his name cascade from Kurt’s lips. It was the same time that he felt a warm hand on his cock, and Blaine’s mouth dropped open in a quiet sound of need. “Kurt,” he murmured, and the name became a chant as he tensed, having to decide between thrusting into Kurt’s palm and pushing back onto his cock.

“Oh, God. That’s good, so good.” Blaine started to push himself against Kurt a little faster, his breath coming in harsher pants. He leaned his head forward to rest against Kurt’s shoulder and tried to push his hips onto Kurt’s harder, deeper, faster. Before he could think about what he was doing, Blaine dropped his hand down to the one that was wrapped around his dick and covered it with his own, feeling the familiar motion and urging Kurt to move a little more quickly. “F-faster, Kurt. God, you feel so good.” Good wasn’t the right word, and Blaine knew it, but his mind couldn’t find another word. His entire vocabulary had diminished to one syllable words and sounds that Blaine couldn’t begin to describe, and he couldn’t be bothered to worry about it. The only thing on his mind other than faster and good was “More.”

Blaine was so tight. Blaine was so damn good. This, all of this was so damn good, but then suddenly it was so much better. Blaine was clenching down around him and the pressure was so intense Kurt thought for a moment that he was going to lose it and come before he could get any farther. His hand slid down Blaine’s sweat slicked back until he was cupping Blaine’s ass and oh god that was perfect. They were moving together now, carefully and slowly and Kurt was having a difficult time staying focused. His eyes kept trying to roll back in his head and his body fought him for every inch he moved. 

Kurt’s dick actually throbbed at the thought of faster and again at the thought of more. He wanted to, he really did. He was forcing this pace as it was and the strain of it was making him feel like he was fighting a losing battle. He wanted to give in and just let go, but if he did…if he did he was risking, well, he felt like he could risk everything. As long as Blaine was into it, enjoying it, asking for more he was safe. The thing was, looking into Blaine’s lust blown eyes; Kurt knew that not only was none of this safe, he didn’t want it to be anyway. Kurt took a shuddering breath, as deep as he could, and he pressed his forehead to Blaine’s and thought about offering some sort of warning, but when his lips parted there was no sound. Instead he just stared into Blaine’s eyes and hoped this wasn’t the worst idea yet.

In a quick but gentle move, Kurt rolled Blaine backward until he lay on his back with Kurt above him. Kurt used his hips to work Blaine’s legs further apart but he never pulled out and he never stopped slowly pumping his fist up and down the length of Blaine’s cock. He did wind up arching his back just so n a way that allowed him to bury his face against Blaine’s neck and then he slid forward and deeper into Blaine than before. Holy crap! “Unnnng.” He moaned incoherently into Blaine’s skin but his body continued from that point on instinct. Everything was heat and drag against his dick and Blaine beneath him and faster, yes faster, and deeper, deeper still. Kurt released Blaine’s dick and wrapped both hands around Blaine’s legs and held tight, trusting that Blaine would have enough friction with his cock trapped tightly between their bodies. If not, then they could always move again. Right now there was just this need that had to be answered between them. Faster. More.

Here, in the crook of Blaine’s neck, buried to the hilt in Blaine’s ass, Kurt felt unhinged. His lips tried to kiss, but his breath was coming too fast, his hands slipped along Kurt’s thighs, and he just let the fuck go.

Blaine could feel it when Kurt decided that faster was going to happen. He saw it in the way that Kurt looked at him, lips parted almost like he wanted to say something and then decided against it at the last minute, but he could also feel the way that Kurt’s thrusts became that much deeper. And Blaine would have sworn that there was something in the air that changed, too. It was almost dangerous, and Blaine knew then that neither of the two were in control of the situation, and Blaine was far more okay with that than he felt he should have been.

Instead, all he could process was that he was being rolled onto his back, and then he was staring into Kurt’s face as he let his legs fall open and then were pushed wider still, watching as Kurt pushed further in, started to move faster. Blaine gasped and his entire body shuddered, but Kurt was still sinking into him deeper, and then again, deeper, and then Blaine really was full. “Oh, my God, Kurt. That, ah, so good. You feel so good.” Long, strong fingers wrapped around his thighs, and Blaine had to remember how to breathe when his attempt came out in a heady whine that trailed off into an outcry of something resembling the phrase “Oh, God.” He sucked in a deep breath, coming away this time with the smell of Kurt’s hair and his sweat and the smell of sex and it was overwhelming with the way that his chest and Kurt’s chest were rubbing against his cock.

For a while, there was near-silence as Blaine pushed back against Kurt, felt Kurt inside of him. There was the sound of skin slapping against skin, slicked with sweat and seasoned with rustling sheets and a not-quite-creaking mattress. This was joined by heavy breathing and soft noises, and Blaine couldn’t quite tell which noises were his and which were Kurt’s. If he was being perfectly honest, he’d long since given up on trying to figure it out. He could feel himself losing his grip on reality quickly, slipping into a world where every sound that wasn’t no meant yes and more, and he struggled to stay put, where he could feel and single out every single thing that was happening to his body.

Blaine brought his hands up, initially to find purchase on Kurt’s back, to pull him down and hold onto him for stability, but then Kurt thrust into him, or did something, because Blaine’s hands curled into the air and then dropped to the sheets, grabbing at anything he could and he saw stars. His back arched upward and he gasped. “Oh…Kurt. Yes. Oh my God, yes,” Blaine hissed, and then he was babbling, eyes wide and pupils blown as he spoke. “What was that? I don’t… I don’t even, just do it again. Oh my God, Kurt do it again, please. It’s right there, please, please do it again.” The pleasure rolled off of him in waves and crashed with increasing frequency around the pit of his stomach, spreading burning heat through his belly and making his toes curl.

Somewhere in the middle of everything, Kurt hit Blaine’s sweet spot and the game changed once more. He was almost uncontrollable beneath Kurt. He arched and twisted and begged and all Kurt wanted, all he wanted in the entire world was just to make it happen again for Blaine. And again. As much as he loved being pressed tight to Blaine’s body, burying himself in every possible way, he lifted himself up on his arms and maneuvered himself to make the next thrust really count. His shoulders and arms ached and his legs trembled but he slid almost all the way out before thrusting forward once more and there it was. He could feel it all along Blaine’s body and he could see it in Blaine’s eyes and it was on Blaine’s lips. “God Blaine.” 

Then it was just a matter of shifting angles and striking again, and again until thought was gone until the room was gone until the world was gone. The only thing that existed was Blaine’s body around him, Blaine’s cries beneath him, and Blaine’s dick back in his fist where it seemed to belong. Kurt wound up on his knees, kneeling between Blaine’s spread thighs, his free hand wrapped around one of Blaine’s legs as he literally pounded in and out of Blaine with abandon. For his part, Blaine looked nothing like he did when he arrived in Kurt’s room earlier. He was flushed, deeply so, sweat gathered and rolled off him, and his gelled hair was in complete disarray, the gel no longer holding. Kurt fully intended to get his hands in that hair at some point but right now, all he could do was this, and he had to hold on for all he was worth.

He had to hold on even though there were no real thoughts left, only the desire to see Blaine come. Soon, he hoped, because Kurt was sliding toward the precipice now. How could he not, he was only human. There was only so much of this intense pleasure that any one man could take and every feeling was heightened by the sounds coming out of Blaine’s mouth. And wow how had he ended up down here again, sliding his chest against Blaine’s? He had no idea but Blaine’s legs were wrapped around his middle now and while he still had his hand on Blaine’s dick he couldn’t actually move his hand in this position, he was mainly just gripping tight and letting Blaine do the moving.

He wanted to be kissing Blaine, but his mouth just slid along Blaine’s jaw as he tried to remember to breathe when all he could do was pound his hips against Blaine’s with less and less rhythm. The precipice was looming and Kurt was speeding toward it now, he just hoped that Blaine was right there with him. 

Kurt’s rocking turned into thrusting as Blaine begged him to hit that spot again, asking with his body and pleading with his lips. Blaine stopped attempting to understand where his feelings were coming from, choosing instead to let his eyes close and let his hands tangle and clutch inside of the sheets. Every time Kurt grazed against his prostate, Blaine’s mouth worked, making more sounds, noises, encouragement, until Kurt shifted his angle just so and Blaine lost the ability to speak. Then, Blaine tried to inhale and his breath caught in his throat, jaw dropped as he tried to swallow, tried to do something, anything, but all that he could do was keep rocking against him. Breathing came later, when Kurt moved again and Blaine could do something other than rut against him helplessly.

Then, though, Kurt was too far away, and Blaine found the mind power to force his legs to work, to wrap around Kurt’s body and pull him closer, have him closer and touching, because even if he’d wanted it faster, Blaine needed to be close to Kurt, needed to feel the humanness to what they were doing. Kurt obliged without a second thought, falling back into something similar to earlier, with Kurt’s hand back to his cock and stroking quickly. It took Blaine a moment before he placed that each of Kurt’s thrusts were punctuated with another stroke, each ending with Kurt twisting his wrist just so and leaving Blaine’s mouth dry as sensation flooded and overwhelmed him. He wanted to be able to hold off, to experience this longer, but Kurt was hot and heavy on his body and in his mind, and the only coherent thought he could form was how much pleasure that brought him.

Blaine could feel his orgasm building inside of him, the warmth that was in his gut ratcheting up to a full-fledged blaze and spreading rapidly as Kurt’s hand kept up its rhythm. It raced down his spine and made his fingers go numb as Kurt’s hips started to lose their pattern. Blaine whimpered and then took a gasping breath. “Kurt, Kurt, Kurt,” he repeated, pausing between each utterance to swallow and to try to stave off the inevitable. It had the opposite effect. Hearing his name, the way that it sounded coming from his own lips: like a prayer, a need, a song, only made the fire burn brighter, and then Blaine’s back was arching, and he lifted a hand from the sheets to hold onto Kurt’s arm. “Oh, God. Kurt, I’m gonna—I’m—” And then he was, what was left of his warning choked off by a surprised gasp as he came, hot and sticky over Kurt’s hand and between their bodies.

His mind was flying. There was nothing for a long moment as he came, giving himself entirely over to the physical sensation, and then there was the mental euphoria of release. Blaine’s body shivered as he came back down to the realization that Kurt was still inside of him, still thrusting, and his body started a protest of being sensitive. He ignored it, instead focusing on the way Kurt felt now that his own immediate pleasure wasn’t the only thing on his mind. Blaine hadn’t realized it was until he could feel the pulse of every thrust, the way that Kurt’s lips slipped almost aimlessly around Blaine’s jawline, until he could feel the beads of sweat that had pooled and dropped and had matted the top of Kurt’s bangs to his forehead on his shoulder and neck.

And then Kurt tensed and Blaine could tell he was coming with the way that his muscles strained, feeling it in the difference of each thrust, and Blaine was left dumbstruck with one realization: Kurt was beautiful like that.

This was it; he couldn’t hold it off any more. He could feel that tug that disconnect between brain and body that somehow felt like pushing up out of his head. Each thrust took him that much higher and soon he would be flying. Then Blaine was close and Kurt marveled at how much those few words could do to him. Before he could think about it Blaine was coming hot and fast over his hand, between them, and Kurt struggled to see his face as it happened, if only for a second. Blaine, oh Blaine, but he was just perfect like that. All sweat, and flushing skin, and parted red lips, and eyes that almost glowed with golden intensity. It was suddenly too much to take in, he couldn’t keep looking so he fell back to kissing, trying to kiss, and he pulled his hand up and hastily wiped it against some part of the sheet before tangling it right into Blaine’s damp curls. Kurt held like that, tight, and close to Blaine as he tumbled over the edge toward his own orgasm.

Kurt strained, tensing everywhere. His hips stuttered and his balls drew up tight and there was that little space of a moment where his gut clenched tight and then he was spilling into the condom, into Blaine, falling, collapsing, sagging, and flying all at once. Free and gone and so, so high. Kurt’s eyes were screwed closed and he was still holding on to Blaine with everything n him and as he came down he relaxed his grip and blinked slowly back to some sort of awareness. Doing so hurt. It shouldn’t hurt at all he was practically boneless atop Blaine as it was but it hurt in his chest like he couldn’t breathe. It reminded him of the same ache from before, deep in the middle of his being and it throbbed with every pounding of his racing heart. He wanted to move, suddenly he needed to be off Blaine, he wanted to roll away or back because he couldn’t breathe and he hurt, and it was overwhelming, but the thought of pulling out of Blaine now was just terrifying and he couldn’t make any of it make sense.

Instead he burrowed against Blaine’s neck and blinked his eyes rapidly against the feeling that he might weep from the contradictions in his body. There, buried in Blaine’s warmth, Kurt relaxed finally and was able to enjoy just resting here. It was okay, he told himself. That was just a really intense orgasm, more intense than he was used to and that’s why he felt so out of control. It made sense. It did, and now he just drifted and let nothing matter, nothing at all. Slowly he withdrew from Blaine’s body and rolled them both back to their sides before wrapping his arms around Blaine and sighing bodily against him.

The first thing that Blaine felt after Kurt came was when he pulled slowly out of him. Blaine inhaled deeply, hardly registering that he was moving back onto his side until Kurt was wrapped around him. When his body was back in functioning order, Blaine tentatively lifted his own arm and let it rest in the space between Kurt’s arm and waist. It was hot and sticky with sweat, but he wanted nothing more than to lie there for a long time, if not forever. He tilted his head to rest against Kurt’s neck, pressing soft kisses as silent thank yous to the side of his neck, under his jaw, and stopping next to his Adam’s apple where he breathed softly. Internally, though, there was almost nothing calm.

Kurt and Blaine had actually had sex. Blaine had come in expecting an explanation for Kurt’s behavior earlier, not this. He’d expected anything but this. He’d expected yelling or hitting, or an ambush, but not…Blaine opened his eyes and blinked before shifting closer. No, he hadn’t expected this at all. Among the wreckage of his expectations somewhere was Blaine’s virginity, gone and forgotten about. Blaine closed his eyes again and curled his body into Kurt’s, hunching over his shoulders and tucking up his knees. When he could feel air in the spaces that Kurt’s body didn’t touch, Blaine rolled over onto first onto his stomach, and then once more so that his back was pressed against Kurt’s chest. He took one of Kurt’s hands and held it in his own, making shapes with the pad of his pointer finger before tugging it over his body to protect himself from his freakout.

Instead of the freakout, however, Blaine found his eyelids getting heavier and heavier, and he wanted to do nothing more than to wrap Kurt tightly around him and sleep away the fears that he had. All of Kurt’s rules were broken. They’d slept together, but would Kurt still say that they weren’t boyfriends? Thoughts clouded Blaine’s post-orgasm haze, and Blaine took a deep breath in, counted to three, and forced himself to exhale the trepidations that they had. They would talk about it. They had to talk about it.

“Kurt?” Blaine asked, his voice quiet but sure. In the silence, Blaine knew it wasn’t the right time to bring it up, to ask the question that he knew somewhere in his chest would ruin everything, shatter the illusion that this was okay and that he wasn’t going to get hurt. He hesitated for a moment, then pressed a kiss to his shoulder, tasting salt and Kurt. His body once again threatened to pull him under, and give him over to sleep and dreams. Even above the covers Blaine was warm and sated, satisfied and comfortable. “I can stay the night here with you, right?” The question was a poor substitute for what he meant to ask, what he needed to ask, because as Blaine tangled his feet and calves together with Kurt’s, he knew Kurt wouldn’t make him leave. Not yet.

Kurt felt warm and heavy now, all over. He was wrapped around Blaine and he couldn’t move at all but somehow Blaine still could. Kurt mumbled a weak protest as Blaine rolled back to his back and again when he rolled all the way over until Kurt was spooning him from behind. Still, he supposed this was nice too and he quickly rolled off the his condom, tossed it in the general direction of the waste basket and proceeded to tuck Blaine right against him. Blaine’s slightly shorter stature came in handy here as Kurt was able to pull Blaine right in under his chin. The position felt natural, it felt good, and right in ways that Kurt never stopped to question. His knees curled into the back of Blaine’s and Blaine pulled his hand around until it was resting over Blaine’s thumping heart. Everything was so cozy and drowsy and nice that Kurt forgot all about things like showers and clean sheets and strict anti cuddling beliefs and he just melted there behind Blaine. His lips found their way to the top of Blaine’s head and he just listened to the quiet sounds of Blaine’s breathing, until Blaine spoke up. Asking to stay.

“As if I’d let you go now.” Kurt murmured and he shook with sleepy laughter. “You belong right here, Blaine.” He added softly as sleep finally pulled him down into unconsciousness.

Kurt slept soundly through the night. If there were dreams they were pleasant because when he began to come to he felt a sort of warm lingering presence all around him. He didn’t want to let it go so he fought to keep relaxed and asleep, but try as he might he was waking up and soon the real world would invade his peace. Kurt rarely had peace. He hadn’t known real peace for years and even the majority of his nights were spent in sleeplessness or nightmares. So to imagine being tucked in a warm bed with a warm body n your arms, to imagine intimacy and caring, things he never sought in realty because people couldn’t be trusted, well it was too nice to let go of. He clung to it, he clung to the false hope, he clung to the imaginary boy in his arms even as he cursed himself for the weakness of the moment.


	11. Cold Light of Day

He did not come fully awake all at once, but before he opened his eyes he realized this was no dream. There in fact was a boy in his arms and it was in fact, Blaine. Because they’d had sex. Because Blaine had asked to stay and Kurt had let him. Stay. In his bed. In his arms. Kurt was awake now but his eyes were still screwed shut against everything, as if by keeping his eyes shut somehow this moment would go away. He held very still, listening to Blaine’s breathing, wondering if Blaine were asleep still and then, only when he thought it was safe, he opened his eyes. Still he didn’t move.

Kurt wasn’t angry, at least he wasn’t angry with Blaine. He had wanted Blaine, god he still did, even now, right now, but he had to protect himself and this was not the way to do that. He’d been weak, he’d been horny, yes, and he’d been over sexed and exhausted but this, right here, could never happen again. Okay, so that was established, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that it had happened and now, soon, he would be telling Blaine that it couldn’t happen again. Oh. Fuck, that was probably the least of it. Oh gods, it was. Because he hadn’t spoken to Blaine about anything, given no answers when Blaine confronted him, he’d just taken what he’d wanted and now he was going to have to clean all of that up. 

Okay. Think. Kurt’s mind fought for clarity. He liked sex with Blaine. He wanted more sex with Blaine that much was clear. Same thought pattern as yesterday then, keep Blaine somehow. Except Kurt knew. He knew deep down Blaine was going to want something more, or expect it. They hardly knew each other at all but Kurt knew that much. So he lay there, dreading the moment when Blaine would wake up and he would have convince Blaine somehow that it was okay not to have more. Maybe he could. Maybe Blaine would walk out and never look back. Kurt’s arm involuntarily squeezed Blaine at the thought and he bit his lip hard. Kurt didn’t know what the fuck he was going to do. 

When Blaine had fallen into sleep, it was heavy and peaceful, and with Kurt wrapped around him, the fact that he didn’t have the answers that he needed was okay for the moment. He didn’t need to know exactly what the pair of them were, not right then. It didn’t matter. Sleep rocked him back , pressing himself further into Kurt’s embrace, and he sighed. Somewhere in his dream there was the uncertainty of waking up, but that traded itself for the sturdy comfort that was warm.

He dreamed of floating along in a lake that had been warmed by the sun, resting on his back and feeling water trickle over his body. And then he swore he saw Kurt, just under the surface of the water. Blaine smiled and let himself be dragged under the water when he felt Kurt’s hand, warm and protective, on his ankle. He smiled, bubbles escaping from his mouth as he hugged Kurt and they went deeper still. Blaine was breathing, though, and then they weren’t in the water anymore, but in a grassy field, running and chasing and laughing, and Blaine had never had a dream where he’d felt so free in his entire life.

Slowly, the dream faded away into peaceful sleep. Typically, Blaine turned in his sleep, unable to find a comfortable position, but with Kurt holding him, he was still all night.

When sleep started to give way to the waking hours, it was because he’d felt Kurt squeeze him. His eyes blinked open, and Blaine yawned and stretched against the body behind him. In his sleep-addled brain, Blaine knew that he’d slept with Kurt, but he wasn’t awake enough to freak out about it yet. Instead, he turned and shifted so that he was face to face with Kurt, and he smiled, sleepy and wide. Blaine had no idea where his glasses were, but he could see Kurt in front of him, which was all he really cared about. He leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, the smile never leaving his cheeks. “Good morning,” Blaine whispered, and then kissed him again. He sank back down, wriggling his hips to rest his forehead on Kurt’s collarbone. There was a dull ache between his thighs, and Blaine gave a half-grunt against the discomfort.

That was when it hit him, the feeling of being completely awake. Blaine’s mind had warmed up and was running at full speed. He’d had sex with Kurt. That was what the ache was. Sounds of begging and groans and whimpers invaded his mind, along with the way that Kurt was so gentle with him, and then the way that it had changed. He remembered needing to talk to Kurt about this, needing to know whether or not they were boyfriends, if something would change. Somewhere in the back of his mind Blaine knew that the answer would be no, but he squashed that, hoping that maybe Kurt would have felt the same thing that he’d felt last night, the feeling of being completely serene. Blaine needed to have this conversation. He knew he did, but he didn’t know how to start it.

“You’re very warm,” Blaine said into Kurt’s collar bone when he opened his mouth. Okay, that was not what he’d meant to say. He chuckled and focused, and then he blushed. He didn’t know how to talk about this…about sex. “I didn’t know,” he murmured, voice unsure, “that it, this, I could feel so good.” Blaine’s face burned, and instead of looking up at Kurt, Blaine buried himself further into the contours of Kurt’s chest. Yeah, I can’t do this.

Blaine was waking up, he was quickening in Kurt’s arms and then suddenly it was all upon him. The time for action, the time for decisions, and the time for words. Of course then Blaine’s hot breath was against his skin and it sent little ripples of heat shooting down Kurt’s spine. Kurt steeled his nerves and his resolve. He couldn’t get sucked down by rampant hormones right now. He had to focus. Unng, but Blaine was slipping down in his arms and rubbing his face against Kurt’s chest, talking about feeling good, and not even Kurt could fight that. Who would he be kidding? This felt good alright, no matter how much of a bad idea it was. Kurt felt his arms tighten again around Blaine and he sighed softly.

“Let’s get cleaned up.” He said very softly, and he was surprised how scratchy and broken his voice sounded to his ears. Kurt’s arms didn’t seem to want to move but he eventually convinced them to get with the program and he began detaching himself from Blaine. This was done slowly and carefully; moving as one might when trying not to frighten a skittish animal. Not that Blaine seemed anything other than relaxed and amicable, but Kurt knew these might be his last moments with Blaine and he couldn’t make himself waste it with harshness or cruelty. There might be enough of that later to last a lifetime.

He slid back off the bed before Blaine could make too much of a protest and crossed the floor to his dresser from which he retrieved a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. He did not turn around but got dressed. Then he turned finally, slowly, schooling his face into calm. “Do you want to borrow something of mine for now? I’m sure we could find you something that could work.” He smiled. It was a calculated smile, but he hoped it looked genuine. He didn’t feel like smiling just now. Not when his body still ached for Blaine and Blaine was just there, just right there still warm and sleep rumpled, all tumbling curls and naked flesh. Kurt felt like hiding and while he didn’t understand that response it was very real. So he waited, wondering if Blaine was going to just go along with him for now or if he would see through this thinly disguised expression.

Blaine would have been content to lie in bed all day, trading soft kisses with Kurt and giggling, letting Kurt run his hands through Blaine’s curls and whispering things that he’d been afraid of the first time he had sex and how none of those things had happened. He would have loved to fall in and out of sleep, waking up in the middle of different conversations and finding a thousand different ways to cuddle. But Kurt was telling him that they should get cleaned up and pulling away. Blaine looked down at himself and realized that he had just woken up, and that a shower or some sort of hygiene might have been a good thing. When Kurt got off the bed, Blaine smiled at the retreating figure, half expecting Kurt to come back in for one or five hundred last kisses. His smile wavered when Kurt didn’t immediately return. Instead, he got dressed.

The floor was cold underneath his feet as Blaine swung his feet over the side of the bed and stretched. He knew he was naked, but there was almost no shame in it. Kurt had seen him vulnerable and open, had taken care of him, and Blaine was comfortable. When Kurt asked him a question, Blaine turned to face him, returning the smile with a genuine one of his own, the smile that his mother had coined the “hundred watt-er.” Blaine felt like the world was lighter, and he nodded. “Um, sure, Kurt. Thanks,” he answered, running a hand through his hair and spreading his fingers to get rid of the last of the gel matting his hair down.

Then, Blaine was standing and looking for his glasses. He found them near the door, and he remembered the way that the entire night had started with a tremor that ran up his back. He wiped his glasses absently with his thumb, then put them on, and the world slipped back into total focus. His own clothes were strewn across the room from where Kurt had pulled them off. His shirt was on the floor, but his buttons were scattered across the floor. Blaine blushed and looked down at his own body before walking over to Kurt, who was handing him another pair of sweats and a shirt.

Blaine took a step back and pulled Kurt’s sweats on, then tugged the shirt over his head. There was something about wearing someone else’s clothes, Kurt’s clothes, that made Blaine feel open again. His eyes were wide in something between worry and panic, and he moved quickly until his arms were wrapped securely around Kurt’ waist, and then he was tipping his head back and kissing Kurt once, then again, and then one more time until the panic had subsided and Blaine’s heart wasn’t being squeezed in his chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, turning his head to the side against the top of Kurt’s chest. “I don’t know…It just, it feels good right here.” He smiled to himself and sighed.

Kurt handed over the clothes to Blaine and tried not to think of how utterly adorable Blaine was in his clothes or how very, well, just homey it made him feel to see Blaine like that. The pants were just a tad too long and Blaine was; well, now Blaine was wrapping his arms around Kurt. He was kissing him, and it was so…tender. That ache in his chest bloomed fresh all over again as his arms automatically wrapped around Blaine and held him there against Kurt. He couldn’t do this. It was wrong, it was somehow worse now than it had been last night when he’d silenced Blaine with kisses and sex; worse because of what they’d done and how he’d behaved. Now Blaine was clinging to him and there were things in the air, promises and feelings and oh god, Kurt couldn’t handle it. Not for another second. Kurt held his breath for another beat and then he was pulling back from Blaine, stepping out of Blaine’s trusting embrace. There was nothing for it now; all he could do was hope that Blaine would see reason here.

“Blaine,” Kurt began softly, searching Blaine’s face, trying to offer honesty because it was all Kurt had to give. “We should talk.” He wanted to stand here and deliver the whole little speech but there was something in Blaine’s eyes that stopped him. It would be simple enough to lead Blaine back to the bed, to hold his hand, to tell him gently. Kurt was halfway ready to do just that when he realized that it wouldn’t actually be better. Better to just speak his mind here and now and give Blaine the respect of not touching him while he did so.

Kurt looked Blaine in the eye and didn’t look away the whole time he spoke no matter how much he’d wanted to. “I like you Blaine. I like what we have. I’d like to continue seeing you, but I need to tell you, this is all I have to offer you. I’m not offering a relationship, I don’t do boyfriends. I never have. If you agree to keep seeing me, there are going to be rules. What happened last night? That can never happen again. We can’t fall asleep together because we can’t get caught by anyone. This stays just between you and me, and it stays behind closed doors. When we’re out there,” here Kurt pointed at the door, “we aren’t even friends, because this is our business and no one else’s.” Kurt’s hand dropped before he continued. “I want you to know though, that I hope you do still want to see me. I think we could work it all out, all the little details, and that it would be really pretty great.” Kurt stopped and he took a deep breath to steady his nerves. He had hope but honestly not much. It was a long shot. “What do you think, Blaine, can this be enough?” Kurt asked but the rest of the question remained unasked. Can I be enough? 

It didn’t last long enough. Blaine mentally starting berating himself the moment that Kurt pulled away from him, and his heart sank in his chest when Kurt said they needed to talk. Nerves settled into his blood and all of a sudden, Blaine couldn’t dins a way to feel comfortable in his own skin. His first instinct was to reach out to Kurt to calm his nerves, but then he remembered that Kurt was the one who’d caused the nerves in the first place. Startled by his realization, Blaine took a small step backward. This was too much like his first day of classes, too much like when Blaine had been terrified of Kurt, afraid of him and then making the mistake of sleeping with him. All of a sudden, Blaine wasn’t so sure that he wanted to be in Kurt’s room anymore, and whatever feeling of comfort he felt was replaced with ice in his veins.

Blaine didn’t blink until Kurt started talking, and then he couldn’t stop because he was blinking back tears and trying to understand everything that Kurt was telling him. Blaine felt cold, and he wrapped his arms around himself and squeezed. He forced himself to break eye contact with Kurt and he looked down at the floor. Kurt didn’t do boyfriends. Sure, he was willing to keep sleeping with Blaine, but they wouldn’t be in a relationship. The realization that Blaine had lost his virginity in what could have very possibly been a one-night stand hit him like a slap to the face. Tears clouded his vision, and then the first one slid down the bridge of his nose to get caught in his glasses. Blaine tore them off and shoved them on top of his head, then resumed his position of hiding in himself.

When Kurt was done talking, asking if quick fucks here and there with no feelings could be enough, Blaine looked back up at him, incredulity and hurt stained onto his features. Another tear fell, and Blaine shook his head. “You want me to say that it’s enough?” Blaine chuckled with no humor in his voice and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “How can that be enough? I’m not allowed to be your friend outside of this room? And even then we’re not really friends, are we? And-and there are rules?” Blaine made a frustrated noise as more tears fell, and Blaine had never felt so stupid in his life.

“I shouldn’t have slept with you.” The second Blaine said it, he had to stop to cry in earnest for a moment, because it wasn’t true. He’d liked it, wanted Kurt to want more from him, but he’d also wanted it to be okay to confide in Kurt, to feel more than just the physical. And Kurt was cutting that off. Blaine took another step back, and his knees buckled as he came up against the edge of the bed. He flopped down on it, body suddenly incapable of supporting its own weight. He wanted to keep seeing Kurt. It felt good, and Kurt wouldn’t torture him anymore. It would be fine. It would be fun, and it would feel good. Until he remembered that Kurt would only be in it to get off. Blaine wiped his eyes and sniffled again, then took a breath.

“It’s not enough, Kurt. I wasn’t…it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. It was, it was supposed to be with someone who cared and-and…” Blaine trailed off, searching for words. He stood and looked up at the ceiling, searching for answers, for peace, for any kind of solution. When he found nothing, Blaine shook his head again and walked to the door. He reached out, and when his hand was on the doorknob, he turned to look back at Kurt. His heart ached, and he wanted nothing more than for Kurt to tell him that it was okay, that they could do this Blaine’s way. And part of him wished that he could agree to Kurt’s terms. “I need…I need to think, okay?” And then he was gone. The moment the door closed behind him, Blaine took off for his own room, throwing open the door and checking for his roommate. He wasn’t in the room, and Blaine didn’t bother to guess about where he was. he went to the right side of his bed and sat down cross-legged on the floor.

“I’m so stupid! God, I’m so stupid. What did I do, what did I do?” Blaine rested his head against the side of his bed and took a deep breath in and held it. When he looked down, he saw that he was still in Kurt’s sweats, and tears started to fall quick and uninvited. Then he was crying, his sobs quiet but shaking his entire body. He cried because he knew that he wanted to say yes to Kurt. He cried because he wanted losing his virginity to mean something to the other person. But most of all, Blaine cried because he had no idea what he was going to do.

Kurt thought he’d been prepared. He’d told himself this could be the end but he’d had no choice. He couldn’t just let Blaine go on like that, obviously thinking there was more going on between them than there really was. Blaine deserved honestly so that’s what Kurt had given him, and as it turned out he was nowhere near prepared for Blaine’s reaction. Blaine was backing away, tears gathering in wide amber eyes, lips parted as though he intended to speak, but what he said, that’s what was the thin that stung the most. And it did sting. Somehow, while Kurt was prepared for Blaine to say no, he wasn’t prepared for Blaine to have regrets. Somehow in all his pondering and scheming that little idea had never occurred to him. It really should have, Kurt thought as he stood there watching Blaine and listening to him.

This was all going to be filed into that long list of things Kurt wasn’t used to. The list that had been neatly compiling itself since the day he met Blaine, or really from the moment their lips touched. Things were never this messy in his life, they were never so real as this; Blaine there on the bed falling apart so perfectly. Blaine didn’t hide his feelings, he didn’t have the control that Kurt had cultured in himself, and he wanted to think it was weak, that Blaine was showing his weakness like it didn’t matter, but Kurt knew that wasn’t right. Blaine simply did not care that he was open in front of Kurt. He didn’t care in that moment what Kurt thought of him and that didn’t make him weak. He was beautiful. He was mysterious. He was making up his mind just then and it was clear which way it was going. Kurt swallowed hard. 

Then Blaine was back up, and he strode to the door, but he hesitated. Kurt’s heart lurched and stumbled in his chest as Blaine turned to meet his eyes. He looked, wistful, or hopeful, and for just a second Kurt thought maybe he would stay maybe he would change his mind. Maybe he would cross the room and throw his arms back around Kurt and fight him on everything Kurt had just said. But no. Blaine told Kurt he needed to think and then he was just gone and it was as if the lights went out and the room was plunged into darkness.

Kurt’s knees gave out and he slumped to the floor and lay there unable to think and unable to breath and so confused that he just wanted to curl up and shut out the world. Instead the images flooded through his mind, unbidden, and unwanted. Blain’s mouth pressed tight to his, Blaine’s eyes so wide and trusting, Blaine tied to his bed naked and hard, Blaine’s cock in his mouth so thick and heavy, Blaine wrapped tight around him, under him, writhing, whispering his name. Worst than any of that though was Blaine talking about how good he felt. Kurt had given him that, made him feel good, and then taken it away as if he had the right to do so.

He couldn’t be certain when it began but Kurt realized he was crying. Hard. Harder than he had in years maybe. The sobs were torn out of him and so far beyond his control that all he could do was surrender to them. Kurt rolled and curled himself up tightly and just held on while he cried himself out. When there were no more tears and his breathing came under control, Kurt pulled himself up to a sitting position and leaned back against the dresser. He tried to think about why. Why did he hurt, why had he cried, why was Blaine so far under his skin? No answers ever came.

Finally, Kurt came to a couple of important conclusions. The first was simple enough. Blaine said he needed time to think, so Kurt would give him that time. He was not about to chase Blaine Anderson. The second was a little harder. If Blaine ever did decide he could live with Kurt’s rules, Kurt would be certain those lines remained in place. He wasn’t the type to cry over some pretty boy, no matter how good that boy made him feel. Kurt had good reasons for the way he liked things and none of those reasons had gone anywhere. No matter what the future brought, Blaine wasn’t getting past his defenses again.

Blaine cried for hours, until he heard the click of the door as his roommate came back in. His tears had long since dried up, but the sobs still came in quiet hiccups. When the door opened, Blaine gasped and straightened up quickly, wiping his face and standing. His roommate looked at him with a raised eyebrow and sat at his desk and pulled out a math textbook. Blaine’s shoulders sagged again, and he sat on his bed, plucking at the feathers that came out of the down quilt he’d brought. Blaine wanted Kurt, he wanted Kurt to want him, and he wanted to want what Kurt wanted, but he didn’t, couldn’t. Blaine sighed and flung himself backward onto his pillows. This wasn’t fair.

After wallowing for a few more minutes, Blaine grabbed his shower caddy and a towel and headed off to the bathroom, where he scrubbed himself clean of everything resembling Kurt’s smell and got dressed in his own clothes. Then, for the sake of his sanity, he worked on his homework and refused to let thoughts of Kurt, of blue-green eyes and broken promises, invade his mind. He said he needed time to think, sure, but Blaine had absolutely no desire to think about it at that moment in time. Kurt would have to take a backseat if Blaine ever planned on getting anything done in his life. When he went to bed that night, he had his thoughts and his feelings under control.


	12. Back to Basics

In the week that passed, Blaine seemed to come across Kurt more often than when he was trying to find him. It wasn’t that Blaine was actively ignoring the other boy, but he didn’t want to have to interact with him. Every time he saw coiffed hair or heard his voice, Blaine’s heart started pumping with a combination of nerves, need, and dread. On Monday, not only did Blaine see Kurt in English, but he saw him in almost every hallway, nearly ran into him at lunch, had to sit in the back row in history class, and then had seen him in the bathroom when they went to shower. Each time, Blaine had started, opened his mouth to say something, then turn and leave. His mind would hate him for it every time, bombarding him with thoughts of pleasure and reminding him of Kurt’s proposal and why didn’t he just say yes already?

By Wednesday, Kurt had started appearing in Blaine’s dreams, first as nothing more than a smiling face, and then it was sex dreams. Blaine would wake up covered in sweat and hard, body tense with lust. His hands curled into fists by his sides and he rolled over in bed, ignoring the pressing need running through him and shoving his head under the pillow, begging for peace. By Thursday afternoon, Blaine had bags under his eyes from trying to stave off the thoughts of Kurt in his dreams. As he walked into the cafeteria, Blaine made sure that he looked nowhere but at his own tray while he got his food. When he got to his table, he sat, ate quickly, and then went to his room to grab his history textbook. Blaine had stopped reading at the table when he could still see Kurt’s face over the top of his book.

The only problem with Thursday, however, was that Kurt was coming up the staircase to the dorm rooms as Blaine was going down. They both paused, and Blaine hesitated. He hadn’t spoken to him in almost a week. Kurt’s eyes looked almost sad, but Blaine couldn’t. He started to say hello, then averted his eyes and rushed down the stairs. That was the closest Blaine had come to saying anything to Kurt in that entire week, and it would have ruined everything. Blaine could feel his heart crawling up into his throat, threatening to give him away, so he ran faster until he was tucked safely away in the history classroom and waiting for the hour to be over.

On Friday, Blaine was in better control of himself. He’d still slept very little, and every time he saw Kurt, he wanted to do something, anything, but it was Friday, and Blaine was sure that it would be okay. When he walked into the English classroom and took his seat, he was unaware of just how wrong he was. “Your next book assignment will be more in depth. I want you to write one to three additional scenes to the novel Beloved in the style of Toni Morrison. These won’t be performed, but they’re a large part of your final grade. I suggest you get started now; it’s due the Monday after next. You may get in your partner groups.” Blaine only had to turn his head a fraction of an inch to see Kurt, and he steeled himself against the inevitable interaction as Kurt sat down. Blaine pulled his book out and started making notes instead of saying hello.

He waited a full minute after Kurt sat down to glance over at his desk. “I think we should write an addition to the beginning and the ending of the book. We can expose some of Morrison’s weaknesses in her characters.” That was it. Clipped, simple, professional.

Saturday was spent in and out of heavy sleep which Kurt seemed to need as though he’d been going without rest for a long period of time. He didn’t fight it; rather just let the sleep tug him back down until he’d missed lunch, then dinner. Sunday was spent catching up on homework. Kurt hated doing homework on Sunday because to him it meant his weekend was shortened. Usually he had it all handled before Friday night was out, but well, he’d been busy. Monday Kurt through himself at his regular schedule with maybe more gusto than was necessary but the weekend had left him feeling slightly hollow and he needed the distractions to fill him back up.

As it turned out, there were not nearly enough distractions to counteract the sheer number of times he ran into Blaine. Obviously he expected he would see Blaine in class and n lunch but it was the halls in between all his classes too. They practically had a collision n the lunchroom and then, as if all of that were not enough, Blaine was there in the bathroom when Kurt slipped in for his shower. Blaine was painfully awkward each time, so much so that Kurt began being self conscious about it, wondering if Blaine thought Kurt was doing this on purpose or something. Then Kurt felt actually guilty despite the fact that he was not purposefully seeking Blaine out to make him uncomfortable. Blaine kept looking like he was on the verge of saying something to Kurt but then he would just run out leaving Kurt feeling slightly unsteady.

Tuesday brought on a new and private humiliation for Kurt when he was walking with Wes and David and Blaine was just ahead of them in the crowd between classes and David started in on Blaine. “Oh look boys it’s Captain Tight Ass.” He said.

“I think you mean Captain Hair Gel, Captain Tight Ass might be a turn on for Kurt.” Wes laughed and they fist bumped.

“Fuck you.” Kurt said, but it didn’t come out sounding half as relaxed as he’d intended it to.

“Fuck yourself! What’s got your panties in a twist? You don’t seriously have a hard on for that freak do you?” David pulled Kurt to a stop and stood there in front of him waiting for some sort of explanation. Thankfully this gave Blaine time to walk on ahead of them as he headed off to his own class.

“Are you seriously asking me about my sexual appetite right now? Because if we’re going to be sharing friends now you should know I have plenty to share.” Kurt raised his eyebrows and grinned right at David until his friend let go of his blazer and stepped back.

“No man, we’re, uh, cool. I was just kidding.” He said, suddenly all business.

Kurt had figured that would be the response so he smiled and punched his friend’s shoulder lightly. “If you’re sure.” He laughed. “Anyway, I’m sort of stuck with Anderson now and I fully intend to take advantage of his nerd status to the best of my ability.” He friends just stared at him for a minute. “The next time we have to work with partners in English I’m going to use him for good grades.” He amended, and then they all laughed and moved on. Kurt kept that damned smile in place even though he felt sullied by the whole exchange.

Wednesday and Thursday found Kurt feeling more and more stressed. He refused to initiate contact with Blaine even though Blaine was almost all he could think about. It was affecting every aspect of his life to the point that he almost cracked and sought out one of the boys on his regular rotation for a little late night release. He didn’t because he still held out some small hope that Blaine would be his, and honestly Blaine was the only one he wanted right now. Kurt’s sleep was disturbed, he had trouble caring about food, and even Wes asked him if he was into something. He just shrugged it all off.

Friday was a game changer. It was time once again to work with Blaine and Kurt didn’t hesitate to move close to the other boy. Blaine would have to talk to him now whether he wanted to or not, and Kurt new just what they should talk about. First though, the assignment.

Kurt listened to Blaine’s clinical assessment of their project and then, when Blaine stopped and still did not look up at him, Kurt spoke. “That sounds perfectly acceptable.” Kurt pulled out his own notebook and began jotting down an outline for himself. He kept his voice controlled and soft, but he leaned toward Blaine, just a bit until their almost shoulders touched. “One of us could take the beginning and one the ending and we could meet in the library later to check one anothers work and discuss other points that we want to make.” Kurt wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them. His arm practically buzzed with the energy coming from Blaine. Oh yes, this was going to be interesting.

Kurt smelled good. He smelled a little bit sweet with a spicy undertone that Blaine recognized from the way that Kurt’s pillows smelled last Friday. And then he was berating himself because he was not supposed to be assessing the way that Kurt smelled, much less thinking about the day that had changed…ruined everything. Blaine swallowed thickly and took a deep breath in. Once again, he weighed the pros and cons of taking Kurt up on his offer, frustrated by the fact that he’d asked for time. Time meant that he had to think about it, that he had to actually make a decision, and Blaine cursed himself for being the type of person who actually considered his decisions before making them. If he said yes, he’d have Kurt. And sex, which felt good. As for cons, Kurt wouldn’t do relationships, there would be rules, no cuddling, and Blaine and Kurt couldn’t talk in the world around them. Each time he thought about it, the cons outweighed the pros, but then Kurt would get within eyesight of him and Blaine would be tempted to say yes just to get rid of the awkward silences.

He was so deep in thought that Blaine hardly noticed Kurt was talking until he was close and suggesting meeting in the library. Blaine nodded once to meeting in the library, but only because his throat was too dry to form words. He could feel Kurt’s body heat rolling off of him, seeping through his blazer and warming him to the core. Blaine’s hand tightened minutely around his book. He needed to move away, to maintain the distance between them. Kurt had probably just shifted and done it on accident. There was no reason to think about it. It didn’t stop his mind from wanting to lean in closer, public be damned, and rest his head on Kurt’s shoulder and feel comfortable again. Instead, he shifted his chair so that he was far enough away from Kurt that his stomach stopped doing back flips. Then, he could focus.

Blaine clicked his pencil and turned to a fresh sheet in his notebook, jotting down ideas and characters to expand on. “We can meet in the library at half past six, that way you can eat dinner. I’ve got a math study group until then so I’ll be on the second floor on the left.” Absently, Blaine’s pencil started doodling swirls on the side of his paper, and he forced himself to stop and pay attention. Finally, finally, Blaine looked up at Kurt, and his eyes hit Blaine with all the force of a sixteen wheeler. Kurt’s eyes were devastatingly blue in the light, and his face was drawn into something that resembled studious, but there was a spark, something behind his eyes that told Blaine he should be worried, to look away now to make sure that he could save himself.

It was far, far too late. Blaine was sure that he looked nothing like what Kurt did. Kurt looked tired, but not exhausted. Blaine could almost feel the bags on top of his cheekbones, and his own eyes were tired and flat from trying to contain himself and think of anything but that damned proposition. From somewhere deep inside of himself, Blaine tried to summon the will power to return to the same strong person he’d been before he looked at Kurt. He lifted a hand to talk with. “However, I don’t think we should split up on what we’re writing. It may seem choppy, especially if we don’t agree on certain points.” Blaine gave a quick, humorless smile that was gone almost before it registered on his face, and then looked back down at his book. “Especially since the book begins and ends in such different places. They’re two completely different aspects of the novel, and if we don’t agree, we’re not going to get a good grade, and that doesn’t really work for me.”

Whoa, calm down. It’s just an English assignment. Blaine took a deep breath, which didn’t help because the smell of Kurt was firmly embedded in his nostrils, and it only sent his heart back to feeling like he’d just finished a marathon. “If,” he amended, looking back down at the book to gather his thoughts. When he wasn’t looking at Kurt, he could think. Kind of. “if that works for you.”

Kurt forcefully hid his smile when Blaine moved away from him. Then he sat up straight in his chair and focused very hard on well, not being hard because that was apparently his natural reaction to finally being this close to Blaine again. Kurt abandoned his notes because well he didn’t actually have much that had to be taken down right this second. There was always later and right now he was sitting just inches away from the boy who now consumed almost all of his waking time and a big portion of his sleeping time as well. Oh Blaine, Kurt wondered, what is in that head of yours?

He watched as Blaine pulled out his own paper and set about jotting down his notes, Blaine was nothing if not determined when it came to class. That much had always been obvious. He watched the tidy scrawl of Blaine’s pencil as it moved across the page, and then he moved to Blaine’s fingers and the way they held the pencil just so. Kurt remembered what it was like to have those fingers moving on him. He shifted in his seat and crossed his legs. The whole not getting hard plan was failing fast. Kurt’s eyes traveled up Blaine’s arms and held briefly on the way his jacket clung to Blaine’s biceps just so, reminding Kurt how compact and sculpted Blaine’s body was. He had just moved up to study Blaine’s profile when Blaine started speaking in answer to him. Blaine was looking over at him and Kurt suddenly felt like he’d been caught doing something very naughty.

Biting down softly on his lower lip, Kurt listened as Blaine told him when and here they could meet and gave his opinion on the assignment. Kurt knew he was supposed to be acknowledging this some way but really he was just sort of struck by the difference between this Blaine and the Blaine he’d met only last week. This Blaine spoke fairly quickly and to the point without beating around any metaphorical bushes. This Blaine met his eye directly and wasn’t afraid to contradict Kurt’s ideas. This Blaine was sounding almost pissed and for whatever reason that was the biggest turn on of all. Then he seemed to lose a little momentum and he looked back down to his notes before he finished.

Kurt just sat there a moment, staring at him, and then he was smiling in earnest. He couldn’t stop himself. “That works fine for me.” He said, his voice tinkling slightly with barely contained mirth. It wasn’t that this situation was funny at all, it wasn’t really, it was just that Blaine was so damn interesting. Even now, here, at the end of this incredibly long and nearly painful week, Blaine still held so much fascination for Kurt it was almost insane.

“So I’ll see you at six thirty in the library.” He finally managed to speak again, this time in a more normal tone. He did not move away. None of the other pairs broke up so he just stayed where he was for the rest of the class. He didn’t bother Blaine further as much as he wanted to, and he didn’t look at him either. It still took the entire rest of the period for Kurt to get his body back under control and the process had not been pretty. He’d had to imagine all manner of unpleasant images including the geometry teacher in a bikini, furry chest and all.


	13. Little Necessities, Like Homework

After he and Kurt had worked out when and where they were meeting in the library, Blaine gave up on attempting any more conversation. Instead, he focused on taking notes on the beginning of the novel, and then started jotting down page numbers for character references throughout the story. That lasted about twenty minutes, until the first yawn set in. Blaine glanced up at Kurt to see if he’d noticed, but he seemed to be in a world entirely of his own, and Blaine shrugged it off, unsure of why that thought bothered him as much as it did. The answer sneaked up on him as he yawned again. Kurt was the reason that he was exhausted, damn him and the way he’d managed to make Blaine writhe underneath him. Blaine rubbed his hand across his face and sighed a puff of hot air onto his desk, then settled for sketching an outline for what he wanted to do with the book project.

When class was over, Blaine scooped up his books and dumped them into his backpack on the way out, and then he could breathe again once he was down the hallway and tucked safely inside of his next class. Kurt was going to be the death of him, one way or another. His mind was screaming at him to just say yes, because he was tired of waking up hard and frustrated that Kurt had left him like that in his dream. He was tired of the way that his heart wrenched in his chest every time he saw Kurt or his stupid face, or heard the way his stupid voice sounded. Blaine was being petty, and he knew it, but he needed a way to get the whole problem out of his system. Unfortunately for him, Blaine’s English teacher had found a way to make that impossible.

When classes were over, Blaine hurried to grab dinner, thanking whatever luck he had that he hadn’t run into Kurt again, and ate quickly before heading over to the library. His math group consisted of himself and four other students when there was a test the next day. Blaine was only there to help answer questions that other students had: he understood the material perfectly well the first time around, and his grades reflected that. Still, it was nice to have found a group that didn’t entirely hate him, especially when the alternative was Kurt and his cronies. Blaine reached up to touch his hair gingerly. They were always insulting it, but Blaine was more than willing to deal with being teased about wearing too much gel. His curls, he decided years ago, were too wild to leave untamed.

After forty five minutes of answering questions and working through the study guide, the math group broke up, leaving Blaine with an extra half hour before Kurt was supposed to show up. Blaine rearranged his working space, putting away his math book and notes and pulling out his English binder. He was working on rereading one of the later chapters in the novel when the need to rest his eyes for just a second overtook him. He looked at the clock. There was time. He’d sleep for ten, fifteen minutes, and then wake up and deal with Kurt before going back to his room to sleep. It sounded like a good plan. Blaine’s head had hardly touched the desk in front of him, and then he was asleep.

The instant Blaine’s eyes closed, he was dreaming of Kurt. They were in his room, kissing against the door. Blaine was making sounds into Kurt’s mouth, and Kurt’s thigh was pressing between his leg, which made Blaine gasp and pull closer. He heard Kurt saying his name, but there was something off about it. It was too real, too…not passionate, and Blaine’s neck was starting to hurt. The dream crumbled and Blaine woke up, jumping in his seat. His neck whipped around and he saw Kurt, then had to blink to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He smiled, forgetting himself for a moment. “Kurt.”

Kurt went about the rest of his day without paying much attention at all to the world around hm. He was so totally focused on Blaine and the time they were going to be spending together n the library. He ran through different scenarios, different ways to broach the subject of his proposal. Unfortunately more than half the time he would have to stop himself mid fantasy because rather than logical scenarios he would find himself imagining bending Blaine over one of the tables in the library and fucking him senseless or pushing him up against the sacks and sliding his hand into Blaine’s pants and jerking him off while holding a hand over his mouth to keep him quiet. Oh god. It was difficult to stay on task when he needed Blaine in every way so freaking bad. Oh, Blaine with his red, red lips stretched over Kurt’s cock. No. Enough.

Eventually Kurt did manage to figure out what he wanted to say, or the message he wanted to convey anyway. He was going in prepared to play it by ear because he wanted to do whatever it might take to get Blaine talking. He needed to know what was going on in that head of his and he needed to know now, preferably before he went insane. That was of course assuming he hadn’t already. Kurt didn’t stay in the dining room for dinner. He skipped the Warblers practice, Wes would be pissed but so what, and this was Blaine. Also technically it was homework, he reminded himself. So he took his dinner/snack back to his room, ate it down in a couple of bites and then went about tidying himself up before time to meet Blaine. Then he took only his book, notebook, and pen to the library. He tried to walk slowly, not rush his steps so he wouldn’t have to arrive out of breath and desperate seeming, but it was a difficult process.

Finally Kurt found the nook where Blaine told him to meet him, but the sight that met him was nothing he’d been expecting. Blaine was passed out on the table and he looked dead to the world. Kurt came in and laid his stuff on the table but Blaine didn’t move. Actually he looked pretty peaceful like that. His face was mildly flushed and his lips were parted and his breathing was even and calm. Kurt felt a twinge somewhere inside when he thought that Blaine might not have been getting mush sleep this week. Now he was passed out in the library from exhaustion and Kurt was going to have to wake him up, even if he hated to do it in some ways.

“Blaine.” Kurt sad, but Blaine didn’t budge so Kurt moved around the table and got closer. “Blaine!” He was whispering still but this was a little louder. Blaine remained still. “Blaine! Hey, Blaine!” Kurt was leaning down now, one hand on Blaine’s shoulder gently shaking him. Finally Blaine opened his eyes and seemed to realize where he was. He smiled though so warmly that Kurt had to answer it with a smile of his own. 

“Hey there.” He said gently before sliding into the seat right next to Blaine. Kurt hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed that smile, or the sound of his name on those lips, but it almost beat out every smutty fantasy he’d had all day.

As Blaine woke up, his first instinct was to lean into the warmth that Kurt provided. He’d missed that so much, the way that Kurt smiled at him, saying his name and wanting nothing more than to get closer and closer still. “Hi.” Visions of kissing Kurt came to his mind, followed quickly by memories of the dream he was having before Kurt woke him up. His cheeks turned pink and Blaine was suddenly very aware of his surroundings. He was in the library, half-snuggling up with Kurt, who he wasn’t talking to. Immediately, Blaine stiffened and he straightened up while clearing his throat. He grabbed for his book and pencil, resolving that both Kurt and his mind were out to get him. With a quick glance at the clock, Blaine realized he’d only been napping for ten minutes, but obviously it was enough to shake his mind and make him forget the fact that Kurt was the reason he needed to nap anyway.

“I’ve written down a few different scenarios for how I think we should write an addendum to the beginning of the novel.” Yes, good. Blaine patted himself on the back for being able to focus on anything while he was staring at Kurt’s face. He looked down to his notes to find the right page, fingers unable to turn the leafs of paper. Irritated, he licked the pad of his index finger and began turning pages. Slowly, his frustration started to pile. This was Kurt’s fault. He’d been able to focus just fine during his study group, but the moment Kurt came along, it seemed like his entire body shut down. When he reached the right page, Blaine pushed the notebook in front of Kurt and opened his book to the first dog-eared page. “However, I think we should put the addition at the end of the first chapter, rather than before it. I actually kind of like the way Morrison starts the novel, and it would be literary sacrilege to change it.” Blaine’s mind had snapped back into the same way it had been for the last week. His tone was schooled to something resembling tolerance at being forced into this position.

The part of the project that was killing Blaine wasn’t really that he had to work with Kurt, though that wasn’t exactly helpful, considering he had trouble breathing properly or remembering anything other than how good it felt to have Kurt’s hips on top of his. No, definitely not helpful. But the worst part was that their project wasn’t due the next day, or even the day after that. It was due in over a week, which meant that they would be working together pretty much every day until it was done. Blaine didn’t think his heart would be able to handle more than twenty minutes of this, let alone hours every day. His mind was already swarming with ideas that he had about what he would do to Kurt, what he could do if Kurt would let him.

Which wasn’t helpful in the least. Blaine closed his eyes for a moment and tried to relax. He hadn’t been like this two weeks ago. He thought about sex like every other boy did, but it was never this pressing a need, and it never hurt his chest or made his stomach flop, and it certainly never kept him up at night. Blaine wanted nothing more than to turn and demand that Kurt explain what the hell was going on with his body, but that would mean talking to him, and Blaine couldn’t do that unless he wanted to ruin everything. Eventually his body would forget. It had to. Blaine opened his eyes and sighed, then rolled his shoulders back to hear the satisfying pop in his joints. Focus. He could do this. “Did you have any ideas?   
Ideally, I’d like to start writing by mid-week, but to do that we have to have what we’re doing completely worked out. I want us to be on the same page here.” There was so much truth in that last statement that Blaine frowned. He wanted nothing more than to be on the same page with Kurt. But this was the project. It was easier to talk about this project than his life. Kurt, Blaine was sure, didn’t want to talk about his life. That would be too much like a relationship.

Kurt was enjoying seeing Blaine like this, so much so that he found himself disappointed when Blaine finally realized himself and straightened up. Suddenly he was all business and Kurt had to race a bit to catch up. He didn’t let feel too terribly sorry though, because now he’d seen past Blaine’s defenses and seen the way Blaine looked at him when those defenses were breached. Blaine was still interested. That was a victory all on it’s on. Kurt hummed lightly to himself as Blaine began explaining things in that clinical way of his. It didn’t matter. Kurt knew everything he needed. For right now.

When Blaine was done he finally asked it Kurt had any ideas of his own, and Kurt smiled at the air but he kept his face schooled carefully when he turned to Blaine. “I do.” He said simply as he pushed his own notebook toward Blaine. The first note on his list was, Do not change beginning of book, leave opening sequence intact. Kurt was somewhat pleased for that fact, maybe they wouldn’t have to work so hard to come up with other ideas that were similar or compatible. In fact, that might race through ts outlining part fairly quickly if Kurt put aside his pride long enough and then they could move on to more important things.

After a moment, Kurt was giving Blaine a chance to look at his notes, he spoke back up. “So I’m thinking that we write out a detailed outline for both the sections that we intend to add to.” He took his notebook back and turned to a fresh page. “Then, once everything is really worked out we can divide the sections in whatever way you think is most advantageous, and then we can meet here after school to share our progress and edit our work. What do you think?” Kurt’s pen was poised over his paper waiting for Blaine’s approval. This part was necessary but it was somehow the hardest. It was so difficult to be this close to Blaine and keep his hands to himself. He didn’t lean, he didn’t stare, and he just kept to topic. These were going to be long minutes, trying to lay their ideas down. It was irritating and Kurt’s hands itched to be on Blaine, but he knew there was no hope for it so he just worked to keep focus.

Blaine was taken aback when his and Kurt’s first ideas were the same. Part of him was extremely surprised that they were on the same page, and that they actually seemed to work well together. Then he remembered that during their first project, they’d managed to finish in a matter of hours, and that they’d worked quickly and efficiently. Unfortunately, he also remembered what had happened as a prelude to schoolwork. Blaine could feel his face go hot as memories flooded him, unbidden and definitely unwanted. He remembered the way that Kurt had kissed him hard and fast, the way that Blaine’s jaw had gone slack at the first thrust of their hips against each other. He swallowed hard and tried to focus on the notes in front of him, on Kurt talking, on anything else, but his eyes were hazy and unfocused as the memory progressed to the first time he’d come with another person, the way his body had shuddered and ran hot. Blaine’s throat was dry. Yeah, he and Kurt worked too well together.

When Blaine could focus again, he was instantly aware of the fact that he was hard in his slacks. Blaine flushed bright red and pulled his chair further under the table so that he was forced to sit up straight. He glanced over Kurt’s notes and tried to remember what Kurt had said. He got the gist, he thought at least, and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds fine to me. We can meet tomorrow or something to start on the outlines.” All Blaine wanted to do was get out of this space. It wasn’t safe. Kurt was in his thoughts and his sight, and he could hear him and God, he could smell him. Blaine’s cock jumped and he took a deep breath in through his nose. God, he couldn’t be in the same airspace as Kurt without having a physical meltdown. Blaine closed his book and looked for his book bag. He had to get out.

The moment Blaine spotted his book bag, he grabbed it from the floor and started tossing his book in it, and then pulled his notebook back. He wrote down quickly what Kurt had told him. “Great, we got a lot done,” Blaine lied easily on an exhale. “I’ll come by your room tomorrow afternoon and we can come back here to start working on the outline for the beginning of the novel.” He was talking quickly, frantically, trying both to will away his erection and to tell Kurt he could leave without actually saying it. Since every time he shifted, he caught some new sight of smell of Kurt, Blaine was certain the he wouldn’t be the first one to leave, not with the way he was turned on. Blaine steeled himself for what he’d have to do and looked at Kurt.

His heart jumped into his throat and his stomach sank, leaving him with the feeling of having just gotten off a roller coaster. His cock ached with the way he needed, and Blaine had to blink to remember that he was trying to get Kurt to leave. “Um, sorry to bring you down here for just a few minutes, but we finished faster than I thought. So, yeah. I’ll see you later.” Blaine tried to look away, he wanted to and he needed to, but his mind wouldn’t focus to turn his head. He continued to stare, cheeks pink and eyes wide, taking in all of Kurt, too much of him, but it was so far from enough.


	14. Terms of Service

All of the sudden things were not going according to plan. Something had changed in the air around them, something had changed with Blaine, but Kurt couldn’t quite be sure of what exactly. However Blaine was clearly saying that they were done for the day and it hadn’t even been ten minutes. In fact they hadn’t really accomplished anything, and Kurt needed to get this damned homework shit out of the way. That was the plan; the master plan. Kurt tried taking everything n slowly, from the words Blaine said to the way he threw everything into his bag. Had Kurt said or done anything since arriving that would cause this reaction? He didn’t think so. Despite every dirty little thought he had, he’d behaved with restraint. No, so it wasn’t something he’d done then what was it?

Then Kurt realized the important factors. The flush staining itself across Blaine’s cheeks and the fact that even though he’d said they were done and he packed his things; Blaine was yet to get up from the table. In fact he was practically glued to his chair while he clearly waited for Kurt to get up and leave first. Oh. Well, Kurt knew how that felt at least. Kurt’s hand sort of automatically stretched over as though to lay itself on Blaine’s arm, but it dropped on the table at the last instant and Kurt pulled it back. He couldn’t touch Blaine right now, because if he did it would only be to pull Blaine against him and lick his way into his mouth with his tongue while his hands work their way into Blaine’s pants. No, he had to go about this another way.

Kurt stood up, slowly, pushed his chair away from the table, turned round and leaned back, half sitting on the table next to Blaine. “Blaine.” He said his voice low and soft. “We haven’t accomplished anything so what’s the real reason for the sudden hurry?” He asked, knowing full well what the answer was already. Kurt lay his hands on the edge of the table and sort of leaned back, looking down at Blaine. His eyes narrowed just a tiny bit. “I’m sorry you have to be my partner, I know it may not be ideal, what with you trying so hard to avoid me, but here we are. So talk to me.” The whole time he kept his voice uncertain, low, and gentle. It was all a ruse of course, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted Blaine so damn bad and clearly Blaine wanted him too. He just had to get Blaine to admit it.

Kurt studied Blaine and worked to breathe in and out, to keep his hands gripping the edge of the table, to lean back away and not toward Blaine. All of it required so much focus because Blaine was hard. For him. Right now, and so fucking close to him. It wouldn’t be difficult at all to just take what he wanted. However he’d promised himself he wouldn’t do that. Instead he waited.

When Kurt finally stood up, Blaine let out a breath of something between relief and disappointment. Instead of leaving, though, he was getting closer, sitting on the table. Blaine’s eyes flickered to Kurt and his lips parted for his tongue to wet them. He gulped. Blaine knew Kurt was sitting on the table, but he had apparently forgotten that meant when he glanced to where Kurt was sitting, he was eye level with Kurt’s crotch. Oh God, stop staring. Blaine’s mind obeyed that command, but only just. Instead, his eyes snapped up to Kurt’s when his name was called, which wasn’t necessarily the smarter of the two decisions. Kurt was looking at him, calling him out on his lie. Blaine bit his lower lip and had the decency to look ashamed at being caught in his lie, especially one as poorly put together as that one.

At being accused of avoiding Kurt, Blaine looked down, then his eyes flickered back up again. “I’m not avoiding you. We don’t usually talk, do we?” Blaine’s voice sounded hollow even to himself. While it was basically the truth, there was something about the accusation that made Blaine want to defend himself. The only problem with that would be that in order to do that, he’d have to talk to Kurt, which wasn’t going very well. “And I’m not hurrying. I just thought you might have somewhere better to be than sitting here with me. We’re not friends, so why would you spend any more time here than you have to. I just thought I’d let you know you could go.” Blaine was grasping at straws by that point, his focus switching between being irritated that Kurt was teasing him and being irrationally turned on by the fact that he was inches from Kurt’s cock. “Besides,” he added, thinking of something else, “I have a math test to study for and if I leave I’ll lose my spot in the library.”

With difficulty, Blaine finally pried his gaze from Kurt’s lips, which were full and wide and pink, and the way that Kurt was talking made it almost impossible not to look at them. It was difficult, but when he did it, Blaine busied himself with refilling the lead of his pencil, anything to keep from having to look up again. Kurt was everywhere and realization dawned slowly over Blaine: Kurt knew. He had to know something. Blaine cursed himself for being so flustered, and then he turned that on Kurt. It was Kurt’s fault he was this frustrated in the first place, his fault that he’d lost sleep and brain capacity to thinking nonstop about either sex or the damn proposal that he’d made. If Kurt hadn’t slept with him, or if he decided they didn’t have to talk, then Blaine was sure he’d have been fine, and this situation wouldn’t have happened.

Something in him snapped. “Besides, the only reason you’re even here is because of this project, so don’t act like I’m not doing you a favor by letting you go now.” His voice was weak in his last argument. He was running out of options quickly, and Blaine prayed Kurt would take a hint or get a clue or something and go so Blaine could focus on getting rid of his hard-on enough to go back to his room.

Kurt did not smile when he realized Blaine was staring at his crotch. Unfortunately his body went ahead and reacted on its own without his consent and a warm sensation puddle low in his belly. Oh yeah, he definitely needed Blaine to come around to his way of thinking. Soon. Blaine was answering him now, and Kurt kept his posture nonchalant, his face relaxed. He had some good sounding reasons for dismissing Kurt, they weren’t friends, they didn’t talk, Kurt must have better things to do, Blaine had math to study; all valid and semi respectable reasons. Kurt was watching Blaine though. He knew the real reason so it was simple enough to hear the empty sound of the words, the grasping that Blaine must be doing right now in his head. 

It would have been amusing with almost any other person, after all Kurt liked the chase as much as the next guy. Blaine wasn’t just anyone though, he wasn’t a one-time fuck. He was the one Kurt had offered more to, not everything. He didn’t have everything to offer, but he’d offered more because he’d needed it and because what they’d had been incredible. Kurt knew for a fact Blaine had felt it because he’d wanted the everything Kurt couldn’t give. So now they’d been tiptoeing around the subject for almost a week and Blaine was apparently no closer to working it out than he had been and suddenly Kurt was just feeling frustrated. Blaine wanted him, he wanted Blaine. They didn’t have to be sitting here pretending like that wasn’t obvious.

Clearly Blaine was frustrated too because his entire tone changed. He started strong but his voice practically faded to a whisper at the end. Kurt refused to back down though, the worst thing that could happen right now was that Blaine could refuse him and then they would be no worse off than they were right now.

Kurt sighed in one long exhale. “This doesn’t have to be so difficult, Blaine. You’re not the first guy in the history of the world to get a hard on in public you know.” Kurt kicked the bottom of Blaine’s chair with his nearest foot. Then he let his crooked smile spread gently over his features as he looked down at Blaine. He felt a little pity, sure, it was hard not to feel that with Blaine looking so distressed, but mostly he just wanted slip under the table and help Blaine out with his problem. 

When Blaine felt his body lurch forward as his chair slid backward, the dam broke. Blaine’s entire face turned bright red, and then drained of color, and he jumped to his feet. Sure, he heard Kurt tell him that he wasn’t the only guy this happened to, but it had to be: this was around Kurt, and Blaine was barely keeping it together as it was. With Kurt knowing that Blaine was turned on by him…for him, Blaine thought that he would have to say yes, or that Kurt would expect him to agree to the ridiculous proposal. Blaine couldn’t do it. He wanted to, God, he wanted to, but it…all of the reasons that Blaine had against doing this were gone. All he wanted to do was get through this, his last year without any more mishaps than there had already been. But no, Kurt was intent on making it damn near impossible to do anything but focus on him and his growing need for the boy.

“What do you want from me!?” The question was ripped from his throat and fell into heavy silence. Quickly, Blaine looked around to make sure that he hadn’t upset any of the other patrons in the library before turning back to Kurt. His chest rose and fell as Blaine tried to relax, tried to focus or think about something other than the same boy that had been in his head nonstop for over a week. The truth was that even when Blaine had been terrified of Kurt, he’d been on his mind. He made decisions based on what would get Kurt to leave him alone, and then he’d made decisions based on what he could do to get Kurt to like him, to pay attention to him or notice him. And then it had been back to trying to make sure Kurt didn’t know Blaine was thinking about him. Either way, Blaine had Kurt on his mind since the beginning.

He should say no. Blaine knew somewhere, logically maybe, that saying no meant that Kurt would leave him alone, and that maybe Blaine would be able to go about his life without fear of constant interruption. But it also meant more of what the past week had been like: sleepless and irritated, not knowing how to say even hello without fearing being overcome by something much bigger than Blaine knew how to deal with. Saying yes, though… Saying yes was almost just as bad as saying no, because then Blaine was agreeing to rules, to secret trysts that meant nothing more than feeling good. But it meant Kurt. Something, anything with him. Somehow, Kurt was the biggest reason Blaine had to say no while simultaneously being the biggest reason Blaine had to say yes.

Blaine made a noise from somewhere deep in his throat, a noise that was a mix of utter frustration, brokenness, and defeat. His mind was still warring with every last fiber of his body, but something gave, and before he had a chance to think for even a second, he was lurching forward and grabbing either side of Kurt’s face and kissing him. The second their lips connected, Blaine whimpered and his heart rate doubled and his stomach quivered, but he kept kissing, frustrated and angry and trying to understand what was going on and failing miserably. When he pulled away, it was only far enough to take a deep, shuddering breath and to dive back in. The next time he broke off, Blaine made a frustrated whine and pulled his hands away from Kurt’s face. “I don’t—I can’t—ugh!”

Kurt thought this was it. Blaine was going to run out because he’d pushed too far, and then he would have to actually let this whole thing go. He didn’t want to though. He would stop Blaine. He would just…he would grab him and kiss him like before. Kurt would make Blaine forget whatever arguments he was having with himself and he would remind Blaine of every reason why they were great together. They were, Blaine wouldn’t, couldn’t deny it. Hell Kurt couldn’t deny it and Kurt never let anyone get to him like Blaine had. Kurt shifted off the table so he could lunge for Blaine when Blaine turned to go. Blaine’s eyes were practically wild and that was doing all sorts of things to Kurt’s insides so he was distracted and completely caught off guard when Blaine grabbed him and began kissing him.

This kiss managed to be everything the others hadn’t been. Kurt surrendered right away, what choice did he have? His hand slipped on Blaine’s arms unable to gain purchase as he seemed to have no control over his own body. He needed something to hold on to because he felt the world tilt at a crazy angle as Blaine pulled back and then came right back in before Kurt could draw a single breath. Finally Kurt’s hands scrabbled on Blaine’s waist and held. Kurt reeled and tried to kiss back but Blaine’s tongue was in charge and all Kurt could do was follow along. Not that he minded at all.

When Blaine dropped his hands and pulled back again, the air went rushing back into Kurt’s lungs and for just a second he experienced spots of light on the edges of his vision. His eyes lit on Blaine’s crumbled face and his heart pounded at Blaine’s broken words. Kurt sucked in more air, his eyebrows drawing together, before he answered Blaine. “Why Blaine.” His voice was no longer so confident so he tried again this time with more conviction. “Tell me why, don’t shut me out like before.” Kurt’s chest was still heaving but he stood still, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. 

Blaine thought that he was going crazy. No, he was sure of it. Watching the way that Kurt watched him, the way his chest rose and fell and the way that his lips bruised darker so easily after being kissed, it was driving him completely and absolutely insane, and Blaine couldn’t do a thing about it. In the wake of pulling away from Kurt, all Blaine could do was try his hardest not to press against him again, rut against him and kiss him until he came and cried Kurt’s name into his mouth. Blaine’s cock jumped in his pants, and he growled, the sound low and rumbling in his chest. It was those kinds of thoughts exactly that Blaine couldn’t handle: the ones that never happened to him that he couldn’t get enough of but it was always kurtkurtkurt and it was never enough but it was too much.

And then Kurt was telling him to explain himself. Blaine nearly choked on his scoff.

“Why what, Kurt?” Blaine asked, sighing and rubbing his temples. “Why can’t I do this? You know exactly why: we’re not friends, we couldn’t be friends. I don’t…I don’t do…this.” Blaine waved a hand in the air for a moment before it resumed its position of rotating small circles against his forehead. “I don’t just hook up with people and it’s great if you do. I mean, no judgement, but I can’t. You took everything from me.” Blaine paused, knowing full well he’d given it, begged Kurt to take it, but he needed to make his point clear. “I go to school. I get good grades. I don’t talk back. I don’t skip classes. I don’t smoke and I don’t drink and I don’t want people like this.” Color flared up on his cheeks. “Can’t you tell how badly I want you?” He made a small frustrated noise through closed lips and had to restrain himself from kissing Kurt again to make his point. Instead, Blaine dropped his hands back down by his sides and was reminded of the physical evidence of his wanting.

Blaine wanted to get closer. He needed to kiss Kurt again so that the ache in his chest subsided into something remotely manageable, but every time he got closer, Blaine knew he was only getting closer to saying yes and ruining everything. Anger bubbled through his veins as frustration waned, and Blaine was opening his mouth again, before thinking. Again. “And by the way, when did I shut you out? I was the one who talked to you. I tried to explain everything. You were the one who said we needed to talk. You were the one who shut me out. Ugh!” Blaine took a deep breath, unsure of why anger made him want to do nothing more than wrap his arms around the same person he was angry with and kiss him until his lips were bruised. “This is impossible.”

Kurt didn’t know when he’d moved forward toward Blaine but it had happened somewhere n the middle of Blaine’s rant. He actually had to stop himself from just closing that little space left between them because he knew that wasn’t what needed to happen. He was so close, so close to being able to take Blaine in his arms and kiss all of this away, but he couldn’t just take it by force. It didn’t work that way. Blaine had to be the one to give, like he had a moment ago. Kurt watched him all through his speech; his eyes never left Blaine’s. He wasn’t an idiot. Kurt had understood all of Blaine’s arguments from the beginning. Some people might say they were even valid arguments. Blaine, good, sweet, innocent Blaine had offered himself to someone and had expected a relationship. Well, a certain kind of relationship, and Kurt couldn’t give it to him. But Kurt hadn’t meant to be cruel. Not then. He’d only meant to be honest. That was better than a lot of guys out there. Even so, Kurt knew who and what he was, he couldn’t just be someone else because he wanted to please Blaine any more than Blaine could be someone else to please him. So what he’d offered Blaine was his idea of a compromise. Clearly it was not Blaine’s idea of a compromise, and Kurt didn’t have it in him to blame Blaine for that fact, but he did want a chance to win Blaine over and he was going to take it. Right now. 

Blaine stopped talking. He was angry and flushed and Kurt itched to hold him tight, but he stayed right where he was and carefully weighed his words. “I wasn’t trying to push you away. I know that’s what it must have seemed like, maybe I could have waited, maybe I could have given you more time, but it felt dishonest. I didn’t want to lie to you. You said you needed time to think and then you never came back with an answer.” All of this was said quietly, calmly.

“Alright. This isn’t ideal. This is maybe even far from ideal and I get it. Okay? Blaine I get it. Whatever else you think of me I want you to know that I’ve heard every word you’ve said, and maybe I don’t always know how best to respond to you but I think you can understand that because we both seem to have that effect on each other. But before you say no, before you decide that this really is impossible I want you know something.” Kurt’s tongue darted out to moisten his lips before he continued.

“People make promises all the time, Blaine. To love each other, to stay together, to be faithful. Then they break those promises, and when they do they break the hearts of the people they promised to care for. Worse than what I’ve done to you. It’s so much worse the way people can hurt the people they love.” Kurt shook his head slowly, his eyes clouding for just a moment. “So I’m not offering that, but I can give you something better. I can give you the truth. Always. The rules, the arrangements, they aren’t just to make me happy; they’re to protect us both. That doesn’t make what we do together less special; it just makes it more real. This, between us, is real. I don’t want to give it up, and I’m pretty sure you don’t either. So don’t Blaine. Give it a chance. If you really don’t want it or if you change your mind, you walk away.”

Kurt swallowed thickly. He could feel the electricity in the air around them and between them. It sent gooseflesh pimpling across the back of his neck and he waited. He bit down on his lip to try and stay quiet, surely he’d said enough, but it was too quiet between them. He wanted to move, to grab Blaine, and he couldn’t. “Say it’s enough, Blaine.” He hadn’t meant to speak but the words tumbled out anyway. He sounded desperate. He was desperate. 

Blaine’s eyes darted back and forth between Kurt’s lips and the space around him as he spoke. He wanted to believe him, believe that Kurt really did know all about hook-ups and the way that people could and would hurt him. Kurt had to know. He must have had experience or something, and Blaine was inexperienced and he didn’t know. His head spun with ideas of how Kurt was probably lying to him, telling him this to get him to say yes, but there was something in his eyes, the way that he was talking, that made it difficult to believe that part of his mind. Blaine’s eyes shifted back to Kurt’s and he watched as the other boy spoke, fighting every urge in his body.

One urge wanted him to press against Kurt and kiss him until there wasn’t a thought in either one of their heads, because Blaine was certain that he’d done enough thinking in the past twenty minutes to last him at least six months, if not an entire lifetime. His second urge was to leave so that he could clear his mind and think, have some peace without Kurt invading all of his senses and making it absolutely impossible to concentrate on anything other than him. And then there was the third option which wanted Blaine to forget every doubt he’d had and say yes to Kurt, a resounding yes because everything coming out of Kurt’s mouth didn’t sound bad. In fact, it sounded…it sounded good.

As silence fell between them, Blaine’s face contorted, thinking, trying to make the decision he’d been trying to make all week. Kurt had said it would be real, and after imagining scenario after scenario, Blaine’s body ached for something real. And then he heard it. Kurt told him to say that it was enough, and his voice was uncertain and quiet. Blaine blinked. Kurt didn’t trust him to say yes. Blaine, though, didn’t trust himself to say yes either, so he understood where Kurt’s trepidation was coming from. That wasn’t what changed Blaine’s mind. It was the fact that Kurt wanted this just as badly as Blaine did. He exhaled and took a slow, deliberate step forward, and another until he and Kurt were touching hip to hip, chest to chest, and kissed him.

This time, when Blaine pressed his lips to Kurt, instead of racing thoughts and doubts and woulds and shoulds and coulds, there was silence and peace, quickly followed by a surge of pleasure. His mind remained blissfully blank as he shuffled his feet to try to guide his knee in between Kurt’s legs to give himself the friction he’d been craving for a week straight. He made a noise that was low and needy, then pulled his lips off of Kurt’s long enough to inhale, exhale, and ask with his lips brushing across Kurt’s as he spoke, “What are the rules?”

Kurt didn’t know what was going to happen, and he hated those types of situations. It was out there though, it was done and now all he could do was just stand there feeling helpless. Until Blaine started to step forward. Oh, and closer; all the way closer, until they were touching. Until Blaine was pressed right up against him and they were kissing. Oh god yes. Then Blaine made this needy little sound and Kurt thought he would lose it, as if he weren’t already far enough gone as it was. When Blaine pulled off his lips, Kurt automatically gripped him around the waist to hold him into place. He fully intended to crash their lips back together when Blaine surprised him by speaking right against his lips, “What are the rules?”

Kurt groaned and clutched at Blaine’s back trying desperately to get Blaine closer, though they were already as close as they could be while fully dressed. His mind whirred pulling up responses fast, but what he did was reach down and lift Blaine’s leg in his hand so that he could angle himself between Blaine’s legs and then he crushed his lips against Blaine’s once more. Whatever thinking processes he had left were gone. Just gone. He was kissing Blaine, rubbing up against Blaine and everything else had to take a back seat. He slanted his head and their lips slotted together just so and he dipped his tongue into Blaine’s mouth. But t wasn’t enough, not nearly enough so his hand tangled into Blaine’s hair and he jerked Blaine’s head back; effectively deepening the kiss.

Kurt was deep into the wantneedmore sensation that was spreading through him when he remembered the rules. Kurt tore his mouth free, sliding his lips until they were lightly touching the shell of Blaine’s ear. “Rule number one, the easy out. If and when one of us is done, that person gets to walk away no questions asked.” Kurt kissed Blaine’s earlobe slowly, teasingly. Kurt dipped down to lick and nibble at Blaine’s neck; working his way across until he came up to Blaine’s other ear. “Rule number two,” he whispered, “in public we are no more or less than casual acquaintances.” Kurt kissed his way back to Blaine’s mouth and he kissed him soft and slow before whispering against his lips, “Rule number three, after this there will be no public displays of affection.” Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine’s once more and slowly licked his way into Blaine’s mouth. His hips ground forward against Blaine’s and the hand holding Blaine’s leg hitched it a little higher. Then Kurt lowered Blaine’s leg to the ground, tore his mouth from Blaine’s and began working on Blaine’s shirt buttons. 

Kissing. Blaine could definitely get used to kissing, especially the way Kurt did it. There was the way that his tongue knew exactly where it was going when it was in his mouth, hot and wet and exploring and commanding in a way that made Blaine weak in the knees. He wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist and held back, with the way that Kurt’s hands held tightly to him quickly making its way onto the list of things that Blaine could get used to. After Kurt’s tongue had thoroughly demolished ever coherent thought in Blaine’s brain, made his brain swim and his breath vacate his lungs, Kurt’s arms were there to keep him from either swooning or his legs from buckling.

When Kurt’s hand came to grip his thigh, Blaine’s other leg did quiver. The hand was hot on his leg and it pulled them closer. There was no shame in the movement when Blaine dragged his hips the opposite direction that Kurt’s were moving and being rewarded with spikes of friction that left him unable to do anything but whimper into Kurt’s mouth, push himself closer, and do it again and again until he was nearly a quivering, whimpering heap. He tried to be quiet, knowing that he was in the library, knowing that they could get caught, but he didn’t care, not even a little, because Kurt was pressed against him and he wasn’t letting go.

Blaine felt Kurt’s lips at his ear, fingers in the back of his hair that had curled up from the gel and opened his mouth to whimper. The sound that actually came out was a whine followed quickly by a gasp, and Blaine closed his eyes as his whole body shivered. Rule number one. That was the hardest rule to stomach. He wanted to shake his head no, but then Kurt was kissing his earlobe and Blaine forgot how to breathe for a second because then Kurt’s lips were moving down his neck and to the other ear. He jerked a small nod to the first rule and tried to make some sort of affirmative noise, but he wasn’t exactly sure that his brain actually processed the request, because then there was rule number two being whispered by wet, talented lips and Blaine tilted his neck forward into Kurt’s mouth, a moan starting in his chest and silenced by Kurt’s lips against his again for the third rule. Blaine could handle that. Especially if every time they touched it had to lead to this, and from the way that Blaine’s heart was beating, he knew that it had to.

Suddenly, Kurt was gone from his lips and before Blaine had a chance to even protest, nimble fingers were working at the buttons of his shirt. Blaine exhaled, sharp and heavy, and raised a hand to Kurt’s cheek where he stroked back into his hairline and down the back of his neck while he caught his breath for just a moment. His brain caught up to his mouth and then Blaine was talking in a rushed whisper. “Okay, easy out, casual acquaintances, no-none of this in public.” An idea flickered behind his eyes and Blaine was reaching out a hand to the front of Kurt’s pants, feeling the outline of his cock through his pants. Blaine’s eyes closed for a moment, and he forced himself to remember what he was talking about. “Is that it?” he asked, sucking a deep breath when the buttons of his shirt were undone and wriggling his shoulders to rid himself of the offending item. Then he pressed his lips against Kurt’s again, needing him again, more of him and all of him and everything in between.

Kurt moaned softly against Blaine’s mouth. He knew that they should move this elsewhere, or that at the least he should stay quiet, but all his nerve endings were humming, were lit and he wasn’t going to stop now. Blaine was repeating the rules. Good, he was listening. Kurt thought it must be at least as difficult for Blaine to listen right now as it was for him to speak but neither of them seemed able to stop long enough to hold a conversation, not when there were so many other wonderful things they could be doing instead.

“No, that isn’t all.” Kurt whispered between kisses. He had Blaine’s shirt undone now and pushed the edges aside to reveal a long strip of Blaine’s flesh which he immediately peppered with kisses and bites. His tongue licked a wet stripe down the middle of Blaine’s chest and abdomen until his tongue ran out of skin and then Kurt began unfastening Blaine’s trousers. Once they were unbuttoned and unzipped, Kurt slipped his hand inside, over Blaine’s underwear and stroked him, palmed him roughly. He squeezed the head of Blaine’s dick between his finger and thumb and leaned into Blaine, his lips ghosting over Blaine’s cheek. “Rule number four,” he squeezed Blaine again, “When we’re apart, we communicate through texts only.” Then he worked his hand under Blaine’s underwear to stroke his cock fully in his fist.

Kurt punctuated this action with another open mouth kiss before he continued listing the rules. “Rule number five, no sleepovers.” Strangely enough Kurt felt like this one might be the hardest one for him to stick to as he had slept so soundly wrapped around Blaine’s warmth. However sleepovers led to cuddling and morning talks and that just couldn’t be. His mouth sought Blaine’s again, heat and need coiling in him. His hips took up a pace rubbing his trapped hard on against Blaine’s leg in time to his hand. He pulled his head back again. “Rule number six,” Kurt panted, “no cuddling.” Kurt’s hand sped up.

Kurt’s tongue made Blaine’s eyes shoot open, but for a few seconds, he couldn’t see anything. Then he blinked again, and he groaned, deep and shuddering, into the air as Kurt licked stripes down his chest. It was hot and raw and Blaine panted with the exhilaration that coursed through his veins. Blaine’s fingers skittered down Kurt’s thighs, then back up to around his waist, holding onto the waistline of his pants to keep himself present.

Somewhere, Blaine heard that there were more rules, but this time, he could hardly be bothered to listen. He forced himself to at least repeat back some of what Kurt was saying so that it would be in his mind sometime when he needed it in the future. The future was so far away, though. Blaine could hardly focus on the pressing need of the now because he needed Kurt so badly that there wasn’t even time to take his pants all the way down, and Kurt was palming him through his boxers and Blaine was panting and trying to keep up.

Blaine lifted a hand to his mouth to quiet himself when Kurt’s hand was finally on him, the remnants of a choked sob slipping through his fingers. He’d been desperate for this for a week, needing it. His hips stuttered forward, forgetting their rhythm at Kurt’s touch as he cried out again, feeling Kurt’s cock on his leg. “Um,” Blaine whispered, voice raspy and low. “Yes. God. Text, texting only. No sleepovers.” Kurt’s hand sped up and Blaine bit down on the flesh of his hand by his thumb to repress the sound. “Kurt, I’m…I’m close.” There was no time for blushing or embarrassment at what he was saying, in anything. It was a statement and it needed to be made, and Blaine was running entirely on instinctual auto-pilot. His hips jerked forward and dropped his hand, muffling the sound of the next rule with Kurt’s mouth. “No cuddling. Please, Kurt, please.” He had no idea what he was begging for, but the words were out of his mouth before he had even half a mind to stop them. He pressed his leg closer to Kurt’s dick, giving him more to rut against.

Kurt smiled. It was an automatic response to Blaine’s sudden stuttering. He could barely repeat the rules and Blaine was sure he was going to have to repeat them all again at some point in time, just not right now. Plus, Blaine was begging. Kurt really couldn’t handle it. He loved the way Blaine’s voice rose over the word please. It was probably one of the sexiest things Kurt had ever heard. However, right now he had one more rule to get through. His hand slowed in Blaine’s pants, and then it stilled and he gripped Blaine’s cock at the base and felt it pulse and twitch in his hand. Damn. Blaine really had been close. Kurt swallowed thickly as his mouth watered at the thought of staying like this and holding off Blaine’s orgasm until neither of them could take it any longer. Really though, as appealing as that sounded it just wasn’t what he wanted right now. Right now he wanted to cum with Blaine here in the library where anyone could walk by and catch them at any point in time. 

Kurt searched Blaine’s eyes as he pulled back. Then, holding Blaine’s gaze he reached down to unzip his own pants. When they were undone he reached for Blaine’s hand and cup it around his dick. And oh god but that felt so much better than rutting up against Blaine’s leg. Kurt stared into Blaine’s smoldering eyes for just a second longer and then he was reaching for Blaine’s cock once more, taking it in his fist. “There’s just one….just one more rule.” Great now Kurt was stuttering. Instead of making him feel embarrassed or vulnerable he just smiled at Blaine somewhat crookedly. 

Then he pumped Blaine harder and faster, his hips moving forward fucking himself into Blaine’s hand. His eyes wanted to squeeze shut but he forced them to stay right on Blaine’s the whole time. Kurt’s gut began clenching and he knew this was going to be over soon, much sooner than he would have liked. “Rule. Number. Seven.” Kurt was gasping, he was so close. “No falling in love.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth Kurt’s hips stuttered and he was coming hot and fast over Blaine’s hand, his head falling forward until his forehead touched Blaine’s but he still didn’t close his eyes or look away. He wanted to see Blaine come. 

Blaine could feel his orgasm building rapidly in his stomach, the tug in his stomach creating a rapidly spreading heat, and Blaine opened his mouth to call out, to make a sound, but then Kurt stopped moving his hand and was holding the base of his cock. Blaine’s body stiffened and he whimpered, the sound punctuated by pants and gasps as he stuttered his hips forward. His entire body felt like it was entirely out of control. “What, Kurt, please, no don’t I need—” Blaine gasped and felt tears pricking at the backs of his eyes. He’d never been this on edge before, this keyed up and stopped before. “I need, Kurt, please don’t…” His outcries trailed off when he felt Kurt’s hand on his, and then he closed his eyes and shuddered when he felt Kurt’s cock, hot and heavy and hard in his hand. When Kurt started moving his hips, Blaine started moving his hand, jerking Kurt off as he waited for the last rule. He nodded. Anything, he would do anything if it meant that Kurt would let him get off. His entire body screamed for it, needing and aching and Blaine couldn’t remember why he’d denied himself Kurt for this long because this was fantastic.

Rule number seven. Blaine’s eyes were locked with Kurt’s, and he licked his lips and gasped. He’d heard it, faintly registered it somewhere in his mind, but he couldn’t repeat it back. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to, but he felt the spill of Kurt’s come on his hand and it sent him over the edge. Blaine sagged forward onto Kurt for a moment, needing the other boy to support his weight as his chest heaved with almost breaths and he came hard, burying the sound of a a cry into Kurt’s mouth. Blaine pressed his lips together the best he could, but he couldn’t breathe and his mind was reeling and Blaine could only keep their mouths connected until he was done coming. In his mind, there were stars and Blaine couldn’t feel his fingertips. Everything had melted away to the feeling right in his core as he came down.

The high that settled into his bones didn’t leave when Blaine took a half-step back, pulling his hand off of Kurt’s cock and lifting it to eye level. Tentatively, he rose it further, to his lips, and his tongue darted between his lips to taste Kurt’s come. It was almost bitter, but it was also tasted the way that Kurt smelled, just far, far more concentrated. Blaine made a small noise of appreciation and licked the flat of his tongue across his hand, making little noises until he was swallowing and looking back up at Kurt with a sheepish, almost-embarrassed smile on his lips. He swiped his tongue across his lips, then let out a breathy chuckle. In slow, deliberate moves, Blaine pulled his slacks back up his hips and zipped them closed, then fastened the button. Everything in him wanted to step back in and kiss Kurt, but he was unsure. Blaine toyed with the end of the left side of his shirt for a moment, bolstering the courage to say something. “Wow.” For once, his mind didn’t protest the only word he could come up with.

Blaine’s orgasm was sudden and hard and his dick pulsed steady and strong with each spurt over Kurt’s hand. All of that was good, it was wonderful, but it was Blaine’s face right before he fell against Kurt, it was his ragged breaths as his orgasm stole the last of his air away, and more than all of that together it was the way he cried out against Kurt’s mouth and clung to him as they both came back down. Kurt felt so suddenly relaxed that it was a surprise. Maybe it shouldn’t have been. After all he’d been so keyed up over this boy for days now, and now, right now, Blaine was soft and pliant in his arms. He was at a loss for words even and Blaine was never at a loss for words. Kurt felt his lips pull up in a small smile.

Kurt was content to just stand like this, just for a moment longer, but Blaine pulled back and Kurt immediately felt his loss. However he didn’t miss Blaine long because he was watching Blaine do the hottest thing ever. He began licking his hand, licking Kurt from his hand, and holy crap the little noses he was making was just dong bad things to Kurt all over. His dick gave a half hearted twitch and Kurt tried to force himself to be calm as he went about tucking himself back in his pants. It was difficult because all Kurt could do was imagine Blaine’s tongue doing that same thing to his cock, his lips stretching taught around it, his mouth sinking right over it until his dick was bumping the back of Blaine’s throat. A groan tried to work its way up his throat but Kurt held it back. 

They had no time for a repeat of anything in here; they had already pushed their luck as far as Kurt was willing to push. Something that might have been embarrassment flitted across Blaine’s face and Kurt thought it really suited hm. There was color high on his cheeks and his lips twisted just so. Yes, he definitely needed to look like that more often. 

Then Blaine was pulling his own pants back up and straightening himself and Kurt had to force himself to remember that the rules were out there now, and for good reason. No more kissing in the library, even though Blaine’s full lips just begged for kissing. It would have to wait, as much as he’d needed and wanted Blaine, the next time they did anything it would have to be in private. Kurt sighed almost imperceptibly. This was followed almost immediately by Blaine’s little muttered, “Wow,” and Kurt felt that smile play across his lips again. Hell yeah, wow. Jesus. He chuckled and gave in to the urge to close that distance between them just for a second so he could kiss the corner of Blaine’s mouth.

“Meet me later? Tonight, my room?” Kurt’s eyes searched Blaine’s briefly before trailing back t his lips. “Say, after dinner?” He asked, keeping his voice low and level. 

Blaine’s mind quickly put together the pieces of what he’d agreed to, filing away the rules he’d have to follow and trying to implant them firmly in his mind so he wouldn’t forget himself and have another moment like this. He countered by figuring that this, however, was different because it had built up over days of longing and needing. Still, something in Blaine’s mind told him that he’d have to be careful following the rules. His lips pulled upward in a smile as he felt Kurt’s mouth against his own. He’d definitely have to be careful about that rule. Kurt made Blaine’s head cloudy, and it was so easy for him to forget himself and everything but the two of them. When Kurt pulled away, Blaine blinked slowly and resisted the urge to kiss him again. Instead, his lips worked to form a response to Kurt’s inquiry.

Kurt was inviting Blaine back to his room later. He knew why, or at least, he had some idea, but curfew was at ten and Blaine had no intentions of getting caught sneaking back into his room from someone else’s and getting into trouble. Still, he wanted to say yes, because it was Kurt and why in the hell would he say no? “I, uh, I ate before my math study group,” he said, sighing internally for the way he started his answer. “I mean, sure. I mean, curfew’s at ten, but if I don’t…there’s no staying over and I don’t want to get caught. That’s not to say that I don’t want to come over or anything, I just don’t get in trouble.” Blaine grew quiet again, a smile flickering over his features and then disappearing behind color rising on his cheeks.

“You don’t have my phone number, you know,” he murmured after a moment of thinking, his mind leaving him to go back over the rules as he tried to best answer Kurt’s question. “That doesn’t really have anything to do with, um, what you said, but, I mean… Yes. I’ll, I can come over.” Blaine’s head started providing scenarios of him getting caught sneaking back down the hall after curfew, and then supplied him with images of his grandfather having to come down to the school to listen to him explain that he’d gotten caught sneaking back to his room from his…not even boyfriend’s room.

Blaine frowned. He didn’t even have a title for what he and Kurt were. He opened his mouth to ask, then shut it again, not wanting to seem overbearing. Then he asked anyway, because Blaine was tired of not asking the questions that he needed the answers to. If this, whatever it was, had a title, then it would be easier to file away the rules underneath a specific heading. Without a title, Kurt was kind of just a friend who was more than a friend but wasn’t really his friend at all. “Kurt, what are we, this?” he asked in a rush and looked up at the ceiling. “I mean, if there’s a name or whatever for it. Or something.”

Kurt smiled all through Blaine’s stumbling. He felt completely disarmed when Blaine did that and he knew it should irritate him or something but it just didn’t. How could it when Blaine blushed like that or bit his lip just so. It was impossible to feel anything other than somewhat strangely charmed. Funny what a handful of days could do to a person, but Kurt was beyond questioning any of that now. He was enjoying everything too much now. Finally, when Blaine was done, really done, Kurt just stood there a moment grinning at him.

“We won’t get you in any trouble, I promise.” He said this as though they were planning to hang out and do homework together or something. “Having you on restrictions would really suck right now.” Kurt laughed softly and reached to squeeze Blaine’s hand. Really it would suck. No way he’d be letting that happen. Not when they’d just gotten things going. There was too much promise in the air, too many fun nights ahead of them. “As for the question of what this is,” Kurt paused and thought. He had to be careful because Blaine had been so upset by the whole idea of something casual from the start and Kurt understood why. “I think it’s best of we just begin simple. Let’s say, partners in crime for now and see where that leads us, okay? Maybe we can come up with a better name together later.” He gave Blaine’s hand a final squeeze. 

Kurt finally stepped away from Blaine and moved to leave. Before he did though, he looked over his shoulder. “I actually do have your number, I’ll text you in a bit and then you can come over.” With that he walked out of the little alcove and strode purposefully from the library.

Blaine watched the way that Kurt spoke to him, with a fond, endearing sort of teasing smile on his lips that warmed Blaine’s heart in ways that it probably shouldn’t have for people who weren’t in a relationship. Then, though, Kurt was talking, and Blaine was paying attention to the way that Kurt put emphasis on how having Blaine on restrictions would suck. Blaine was almost one hundred percent sure that he and Kurt had different reasons for why being on restrictions was a terrible thing, but he was glad that Kurt had no desire to see him in trouble either way.

As Kurt paused to think, Blaine played with the fingers in his hand, squeezing back and twisting his wrist this way and that, just fidgeting until he heard the phrase. Partners in crime. Blaine smiled despite himself: the phrase was cute and sweet and just a little bit naughty. Partners in crime was far more fulfilling than anything Blaine had been prepared for Kurt to say. Instead of responding verbally, Blaine just nodded and smiled, bashful and unable to come up with anything remotely witty or appropriate to say. So instead, he blinked when Kurt was walking past him. His head tilted to the side and his face contorted into a small frown when Kurt said he already had Blaine’s phone number. By the time he turned around to ask Kurt how in the world he had his number, Kurt was gone, and Blaine couldn’t exactly run after him. Blaine chuckled and fished his phone out of his pocket. Blaine still didn’t have Kurt’s number. Befuddled, he flopped back down into the closest chair and stared at his phone for a full five minutes before he picked up his backpack and pulled it on.

When Blaine left the library, he went straight to his room to drop off his stuff, and then headed to the bathroom, where he proceeded to take a shower. The whole time, his cell phone was perched right outside of the shower stall on loud, waiting for a text message. Blaine scrubbed his hair and tried to figure out what to wear, mentally going through his wardrobe. When he got out of the shower, Blaine toweled his hair dry and padded back to his room, setting his cell phone on his dresser while he pulled on a pair of dark wash jeans, a green polo shirt and a black and gray striped cardigan. He contemplated his gray cotton bow tie for a moment, and then decided against it. Then, he went to do his hair. First, he tried to comb it, got frustrated, and glanced at his hair gel. He’d just washed it out, and it would take time to dry. Blaine looked back at his cell phone, the screen still dark. He had no idea when Kurt would text him. Blaine poked at the curls in his mirror and sighed, knowing he wouldn’t really be able to do anything with it.

After polishing his glasses for ten minutes, Blaine’s phone finally went off. He nearly dove off of his bed for it, frustrated and relieved by the message. It was from a number that he didn’t recognize, so he assumed it was Kurt. That much was confirmed when Blaine read the text. It was so simple. “Hey, it’s Kurt. Can you meet me in ten?” For the whole partners in crime thing, Blaine didn’t know why he’d been expecting a more elaborate message, maybe in some sort of code, or with code names or a smiley face, or something would have accompanied it, but Kurt, Blaine was finding out, was extremely difficult to decipher. Blaine quickly said sure, not bothering to mention that he’d been waiting for that text for almost an hour, or that he’d also been staring at his phone under the guise of doing other, semi-productive things.

Blaine checked the phone on his clock obsessively, then, exactly eleven minutes after Kurt sent his text, Blaine got up from his bed and slipped out of his room. He made the trip in under a minute, watching his phone to see if Kurt would call to ask where he was, or if he would text or something, and then caught sight of his hair. Inwardly, he groaned, knowing he should have gelled it even a little bit. But no, it was free and thick and curls decided where they wanted to rest on his forehead. Blaine rocked back on his heels and knocked twice on the door, this time feeling far more anxious about this meeting than the one before it. This was something Blaine wanted to do, completely divorced from school work and needing answers. This was planned. A blush colored his cheeks quickly as Blaine realized exactly what was going on: he was scheduling sex.


	15. Blowjobs 101

Kurt swung by his room, grabbed his supplies, and hit the shower. He scrubbed furiously, rushing, wanting nothing more than to be back in his room getting ready for Blaine. Kurt didn’t even bother to dry his hair, just scrubbed at it with the towel and combed it back and to the side. It would have to do. He brushed his teeth, threw on his lounge pants and t-shirt and padded quickly back to his room. 

He knew exactly what he wanted from tonight. It would be simple enough, Blaine wouldn’t have to stay too late and both of them should have a lot of fun. Kurt might have been surprised by that part of the plan, but he was learning to accept that Blaine’s presence was simply more important than other flings he’d had. For Kurt to really enjoy himself, Blaine had to too. It didn’t have to mean anything, Kurt reasoned, it was simply the give and take that existed when you planned to keep someone around for a while. Plus there was just something so satisfying about watching Blaine, perfectly put together Blaine, fall completely apart under his touch.

Kurt was mostly organized when it came to his room so there wasn’t any real cleaning to be done, but he did make sure that there were some towels out and that his ipod was on the dock and cued up to an appropriate playlist. Massive Attack, Mezzanine. Kurt had yet to meet a single person that could resist it’s certain charms.

After that he decided he ought to think of specifics for the night because where Blaine was concerned he was apt to lose his head a little and he needed to stay focused enough to accomplish his goals. He was going to teach Blaine all about the joys of giving head, and that was going to be distracting in and of itself. He’d gone down on Blaine but he hadn’t asked Blaine to do it yet because he didn’t want to frighten Blaine off. Now, faced with the task ahead, he wanted to be certain that they took it in phases. Instead of just Blaine going down on him, sucking him off till he comes.

Although, the thought of Blaine’s full lips stretched around him, taking him in, sucking him off till he came, that was a fantastic thought. Kurt leaned back in his desk chair and pulled out his phone. Yes, they would work in small, manageable steps, and this way he could stay in control of his faculties. Especially since just the thought of it was making him hard. Kurt sent a quick text to Blaine and then waited for the knock on his door.

When that knock finally came, Kurt had to force himself not to race to the door. First he hit play on the pod and then he took even measured steps and pulled the door open slowly. The sight that greeted him sucked the breath right out of him but Kurt managed to keep his cool somehow. Blaine was, messy, or clean but, his hair was down and it was so…curly.

“Hey, come in.” Kurt said, prying his eyes off of Blaine long enough to step back and let his guest inside. Once the door was shut Kurt tugged Blaine by the hand until they were near the bed and he gestured for Blaine to take a seat there while he slipped back into his desk char, facing Blaine across a small space. He never sad, you look nice, because he just couldn’t say shit like that, but he toyed with the idea of, you look hot. Instead he settled on, “I’d like to run an idea by you.” He smiled at Blaine in what he hope would seem relaxed when really all his nerves were screaming and he just want to pounce on Blaine right then.

The second that Kurt opened the door, Blaine’s heart started to beat just a little faster. He could see Kurt giving him the once over, and then his eyes got stuck on Blaine’s hair. He stiffened for a moment, barely resisting the urge to reach up and touch it. “I’m sorry I didn’t do my hair,” he mumbled when he caught Kurt looking. “I just, I’d just taken a shower and I didn’t know if I should do it or not. It’s not usually like this. I’m sorry, I just…um, yeah.” 

Instead of turning tail and running to go throw product in his hair, Blaine stepped inside quickly when invited, relaxing just a touch when the door shut behind him. He and Kurt were friends now, could touch and talk and smile, and it was okay. Blaine let himself be dragged over to Kurt’s bed, his cheeks dusting pink as he remembered the last time he’d been on it, but he was a little disappointed when Kurt didn’t immediately come join him. He didn’t let it show, though, reaching up instead to tug at the ends of his hair while Kurt’s voice, warm and inviting, told him that he had an idea that he wanted to run by him. Blaine blinked and stopped mid hair pull. Internally, his mind started working double time. 

Sure, Kurt wanted to try something. And everything was going to be new to Blaine. He’d done practically nothing. He’d been the recipient of several heated and intense kisses, and then had pretty much jumped straight into sex. Of course, there had been some foreplay, some teasing, but Blaine could hardly begin to even imagine the things that Kurt wanted to run by him. For a second, he contemplated whether or not Kurt was having second thoughts now that Blaine had agreed to this arrangement, but he pushed that thought from his head, knowing that Kurt was the one to invite him over, and he was the one who wanted to know why Blaine was so reluctant to say yes. With that in mind, Blaine’s mind couldn’t settle on one idea that didn’t make his entire face burn, so he gave up. 

“Um, an idea? Okay, sure.” He fidgeted, pushing off his shoes with his feet and taking off his glasses. He set them on the stand next to the bed and watched Kurt’s face blur ever slightly. Then, he picked them back up and started to rub them on his cardigan, nervous. “Is it, is it like…an idea, idea? Or just a regular idea? Oh, my God. I sound like a middle schooler, don’t I? But, I mean, you get what I mean, right? With like…ideas. Right?” Blaine tilted the corners of his lips up into a smile as his blush spread further across his cheeks. “Because either idea is fine. I’m open to all kinds of ideas, really.” Blaine’s eyes widened as he realized the potential double entendre in his words and swallowed hard before he chuckled. “Um, I’m sure that I’m not making any sense, am I?” He set his glasses back down again and laced his fingers together before looking back at Kurt. His eyes closed and Blaine didn’t move for a moment, drawing on whatever inner peace Kurt hadn’t completely shredded. 

When he opened his eyes again, the need to fidget was firmly in check, and Blaine’s flush had dissipated just a little. “Hi. Sorry. I’m Blaine Anderson, and apparently, talking about…” He leaned in and lowered his voice, “sex…” He straightened again, “makes me all, um, yeah.” It was the most forward Blaine had ever been, and he was proud of himself, but also amazed at how easily the words rolled off of Kurt’s tongue. Some of the ideas in Blaine’s mind made him wonder exactly where they came from, how they could come from his mind, let alone entertain the thoughts long enough for them to become desires. But they were there, and as long as Kurt was willing to be patient, Blaine figured that now was as good a time as any to at least try to be open. 

Kurt was prepared for Blaine’s rambling. It was comfortable for Kurt now, something he expected, something he was beginning to look forward to. Blaine was so innocent, but at the same time he was open and eager and it disarmed Kurt every time. In his own experience people had always used sex as a means to an end or as a way to control someone else or simply away to satisfy themselves before moving on. Blaine approached sex with awe and wonder and he put his whole self into the act. He allowed himself to become vulnerable in front of Kurt somehow trusting that Kurt would not let him down. This was just part of the enigma of Blaine. He never should have trusted Kurt, not for a second, but when he did, Kurt found he enjoyed their time together so much more than the briefer one night encounters he’d become accustomed to. 

Now with Blaine on the edge of his bed going on about how flustered he got talking about sex, Kurt could feel the edge of his mouth tugging up in a half smile. Seeing sex through Blaine’s eyes was a lot like seeing sex for the first time all over again. It was a bit of a rush. Blaine was pinking up across his cheeks so Kurt scooted his chair closer to the bed and he reached out to pull Blaine’s hands into his and he held them tight. 

Blaine finished up so Kurt rubbed his thumb over the back of Blaine’s hand in what he hoped was a soothing manner. Being soothing didn’t come naturally at all, but Blaine’s comfort was as important now as it had been since their first night together. “You make perfect sense.” Kurt started. “And yes, it is an idea, idea.” Kurt wriggled his eyebrow a tiny bit and smiled at Blaine. “Blowjobs. Giving and receiving. How do you feel about just focusing on blowjobs tonight?” Kurt bumped his knee against Blaine’s and grinned and he didn’t bother hiding the hint of mischief that played around his eyes and the edges of his mouth. How could he when Blaine was here and so very appealing? 

Kurt’s hands were calm and relaxing against the backs of his hands, thumbs pressing in soft circles. He was glad that Kurt understood him, at least a little bit, that whatever he was saying made sense. Well, either that, or Kurt was saying that he understood Blaine to make him feel better. He smiled, grin wide and full, when Kurt confirmed that, yes, this was a sexual idea. Blaine sighed softly and tried to contain the heat that he could feel on his cheeks when he heard what Kurt had suggested. Blowjobs. Oral sex. Blaine’s mind went through three or four other terms for the act, and the blush on his cheeks grew exponentially. Stay calm, he reminded himself, but as soon as his lips started moving, he knew that the babbling was going to happen. 

“Blow, um…yeah. I mean, that would be, those are…um, I can, uh…” Blaine’s cock twitched and jumped at the prospect of going down on Kurt more than the thought of Kurt giving him a blowjob did. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Kurt’s mouth over him, not at all. There was just something about the prospect of pleasuring Kurt that made Blaine swallow hard and shake his head, then nod. “Yeah, we can focus on that. Absolutely, yeah, um, it would…um, receiving, and,” he swallowed, “giving. Yeah, we can…yeah. Blow, um,” Blaine trailed off. He wanted to say it, wanted to make Kurt proud by showing him that he could say whatever he wanted to, but something in his brain stopped him, telling him that no, this was definitely not something he should say. 

Blaine pulled his hand out of Kurt’s and ran it through his hair, snagging his fingers in tight curls and smiling, happy and sheepish. Then, after deciding he and Kurt had been apart for too long, leaned forward and kissed him softly on the mouth. He sighed into the kiss and leaned in further, peppering slow and multiple kisses to his lips. He pulled away to take a deep, calming breath, and smiled again, the blush on his cheeks spreading down to his neck and up into the sides of his hairline. “So you’re…are you going to teach me?” Suddenly, voicing the fact that Kurt would be teaching him how to give head made Blaine’s heart start to beat faster. He knew that would be how it would have to work, because while he understood the general gist of what happened, he thought, Blaine didn’t have a clue what he was really doing. 

Blaine went off again, stuttering his way through what he wanted to say without ever completing a sentence. Kurt was aware that this should not be so charming, but it simply was. Kurt had given up the hope of ever fighting Blaine’s ridiculous charm. So now he just enjoyed it, relishing in the way Blaine’s voice dipped low and the way the blush spread so softly at first and the deepened in color. Blaine looked so young and vulnerable, but Kurt knew better. Blaine had a passion inside him that rivaled Kurt’s. More importantly it seemed he was intrigued and excited by the idea of focusing on just this one act. Kurt was excited too so that all worked out well. 

The surprise of it all was when Blaine closed the small distance between them and kissed Kurt and it was soft and careful and slow, god so slow. Kurt let himself be drawn along in the pleasure of the slow burn that built between them. Then Blaine was dusting little kisses along his mouth and Kurt was sighing against those soft full lips. When had kissing ever been this good? Blaine was the one to break away and Kurt felt himself trying to catch his breath in much the same way that Blaine appeared to be doing just now. When Blaine smiled his face lit up redder than ever and that blush chased away the honey colored skin right down into the neckline of his shirt. 

It took more will power than Kurt was aware he had to just stay in his seat, face relaxed and calm when Blaine asked if he was going to teach him. This of course was the plan all along, Blaine would have to be taught, but it was the almost eager tone that crept into Blaine’s voice that made Kurt’s dick spring to life in his pants. Oh yes, Blaine wanted this as much as he did. Kurt’s hands were still wrapped around Blaine’s and he kept them there as he slid off his chair and over onto the bed next to Blaine. He leaned over and pressed his lips lightly to Blaine’s once but then he pulled back to meet Blaine’s darkened gaze. 

“I am going to teach you.” He began, his voice coming out almost as low as Blaine’s. “And you will tell me throughout whether or not you are enjoying what we’re doing. If at any point you aren’t enjoying it we will stop.” Kurt searched Blaine’s eyes for understanding. “Do you understand, Blaine?” He asked softly. 

Blaine could feel the muscles in his back relaxing as Kurt came to sit on the bed with him. He hadn’t even realized he’d been tense, or that he was holding his breath until he exhaled softly when Kurt pulled away from a quick, chaste kiss. Eye to eye with Kurt, Blaine’s desire to blink disappeared almost completely. He didn’t want to miss the way that Kurt’s eyes were almost a darker shade of blue-green, his pupils wide and his face so expressive. Blaine didn’t want to miss anything, could barely dream of it until Kurt confirmed what Blaine had asked. 

The moment that Kurt said he was going to teach Blaine, his eyes fluttered shut and his entire body shuddered before his eyes opened again. He could feel his cheeks burning, but knew there was nothing to be done about it, especially when Kurt told him that the night would be about whether or not Blaine enjoyed himself. When it was verbalized, Blaine squeezed the hand still in Kurt’s and swallowed hard as his arousal continued to grow. Blaine shifted slightly on the bed, and then nodded. “I understand.” What he didn’t add, however, was something that he thought was almost painfully obvious: Blaine had no fear that Kurt knew he was going to enjoy himself thoroughly. 

Blaine’s gaze shifted downward, past his lap and down onto the floor. His mind was racing, half with thoughts and half with questions. He wanted to know why it was so difficult for him to get through what he wanted to say, why it was so simple for Kurt. He wanted to know if he was going to be good at this, if Kurt would enjoy it as much as he was planning to. He wanted to know how they would be positioned, what the specifics of oral sex were, and so many other things that his brain felt full to bursting. Blaine looked back up at Kurt, though, and his mind quieted. Sure, the questions were still there, but they didn’t require the immediate attention they had seconds ago. His thoughts were focused. 

“Am I…are you going to tell me what to do, while I’m doing it? I mean, so I’m, am I going first? Um, first to, or, um, something else?” Blaine had heard about people on their knees to do it, and he wondered if that was the only way that it was supposed to happen. “Where should I…be?” he tacked on as an afterthought, fidgeting on the bed again until his and Kurt’s knees were touching. The calm spread through his body again, and Blaine forced himself to take a breath. They would get through this. Blaine’s eyes flickered over Kurt’s body and felt a smile tug at his lips, knowing that Kurt would help him enjoy it. 

Kurt didn’t resist the urge to reach up and run his finger along Blaine’s bottom lip. He just kept imagining what Blaine’s mouth was going to feel like on his dick and what those lips would look like wrapped around him. Kurt had a thing for lips, he always had, but Blaine’s were so red and plump and silken. They were also very responsive to touch, very sensitive. Blaine’s lip quivered under the slightest touch and it was fascinating. 

“First, we’re just going to relax, right here, together; until we’re ready to move on. Then, I will tell you what to do, but also I’m going to show you. Right now, just…lay back.” Kurt placed a hand on Blaine’s shoulder and sort of gently pressed him back onto the bed. “Breathe.” Kurt whispered this last bit against Blaine’s ear and then began placing tiny kisses all across Blaine’s cheek and neck, never lingering long just moving to the next spot and brushing his lips lightly. His hand found Blaine’s again and fingers tangled together and held and Kurt wasn’t even aware of it because Blaine was here, right here, in his bed. 

Kurt moved at last to kiss Blaine’s lips. He wanted it to start slowly but the excitement was getting to him, spurring him on and his lips crushed Blaine’s feeding on his mouth like a starving man. His tongue mapped the inside of Blaine’s mouth, tangling with Blaine’s tongue and licking every available surface and crevice. Kurt heard his moan muffled against Blaine and for just a moment he wondered how he could be so needy for Blaine when they’d only parted a little while ago in the library. 

Relax. Blaine’s shoulders rolled backward as Kurt pushed him slowly onto the bed. When his shoulder blades were pressed against the mattress and Kurt’s weight and body heat were on top of him, then he really let himself relax under the comfort of Kurt’s promises. At first, it was small kisses to his cheek, and Blaine’s breath was calm and quiet, controlled. He bit his lower lip and his eyelids fluttered, unable to decide between open and shut. Breathe. The command lingered in his mind as the kisses shifted downward, toward his neck. He opened his mouth and sighed as Kurt’s lips ghosted over a sensitive spot on his neck, and his body arched upward in a half-movement that relaxed the moment Kurt’s lips were gone. 

When Blaine felt Kurt’s fingers tangling with his and Blaine’s hand stretched to cling to the hand that was offered. And then Kurt was kissing him, and Blaine couldn’t keep his eyes open. He felt Kurt’s tongue against his lips, and then inside of his mouth, and it was all Blaine could do to keep his hips shifted down on the bed instead of rising up to meet his body, to get every possible point of contact that he could. He whimpered when he heard Kurt moan, and he sucked in air through his nose before shivering and squeezing the hand in his, holding it tighter. Breathe. Again, the instruction passed through his mind, and a small smile formed on the corner of his lips. 

It was difficult, trying to think while Kurt was kissing him, and every single one of his nerve endings felt like they were on fire. Especially his lips. He could feel them against Kurt’s, plump and slick and warm, and Blaine was unsure of where his fascination with lips had come from, or how he was managing to think about them with Kurt on top of him. He whimpered and his free hand lifted to rest on Kurt’s back. It stayed there for a moment, almost holding on but never securing a spot, and then skittered upward until Blaine’s fingers were toying in the small hairs at the nape of Kurt’s neck. His hair was soft and cool in contrast to the warmth that was radiating from his neck. Blaine’s fingers continued upward into his hair, threading and twisting his fingers, feeling and knowing. When his hand was comfortably on the back of Kurt’s head, Blaine’s grip got just a little tighter as he pushed Kurt’s head down slightly and rose his own to meet, in turn pressing their lips together harder. Blaine whimpered and then groaned, and then he couldn’t keep his hand in Kurt’s any longer. It slipped from Kurt’s grip and moved to hold the arch of Kurt’s back, pressing their hips together. Blaine gasped, feeling a hot tingle shoot down his spine, and made another noise. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Blaine wondered whether or not this was what Kurt meant by relaxed. 

Kurt knew he would have to gather his senses enough to slow this all down. What he’d begun as a way to transition from chatting together to giving head had turned into its own means to an end. An end he feared they might both reach soon if he didn’t pull himself together. Kissing Blaine was an experience unto itself however so it took several long moments for Kurt to stop becoming distracted by the sounds Blaine made or the way he moved beneath Kurt or the way he fought to pull Kurt somehow closer, and closer still. Kurt’s mouth broke away and he buried his head into Blaine’s neck and just tried to catch his breath. He panted there against Blaine and ran his hand in a soothing fashion through Blaine’s curls. Slowly, Kurt began to come back to himself and he shifted atop Blaine until he could roll to the side but he stayed close, curling against Blaine and kissing his neck lightly. 

He nuzzled against Blaine for a little bit longer, listening to Blaine’s breathing, hoping Blaine could tell that he was just worked up way too much and had needed a breather. Instead of saying anything, he let his hand drift over Blaine’s stomach where he worked it up under Blaine’s shirt and let it slip up and up until he was caressing Blaine’s chest, slow and lazy. He just about had his hormones back in check and was thinking he might be ready to move on if Blaine was, but he needed to exercise better control if he was going to get back to the simple wonders he had planned for tonight. 

He pushed himself up and pulled Blaine back up to. His eyes held Blaine’s for a moment and then he was reaching over to pull Blaine’s shirt up and off. Kurt did this slowly. He wanted to take his time to enjoy everything but also to get to know Blaine and his reactions better. So far everything they had shared had been so intense that t had been difficult to focus on the finer details like where Blaine liked to be touched or what movements and actions caused him to come undone. Kurt wanted to know everything. What each little noise and look meant. Blaine was talkative enough, but when he spoke he seemed to have a hard time getting to the point of things. 

Kurt thought it strange how attraction works, as he slipped off the bed and began undoing Blaine’s fly. Blaine reached him on a level that other guys hadn’t, and the response Kurt had to this was a need not only to learn every bit of Blaine’s body but also to be sure that no one else could give Blaine what Kurt could. In order to do that he was going to have to control himself from time to time and take things slow. Like now. Oh, he wasn’t about to give up hurried couplings in the dark, but he wanted this too. He wanted to feel the way Blaine’s thigh jumped under his hand as he helped him out of his pants, and he wanted to learn the gasp that Blaine gave as he used his teeth to start pulling Blaine’s boxers down. He didn’t just want these things, he outright needed them. 

When Blaine was finally undressed all the way, Kurt began peeling out of his own clothes and when the final item was tossed away he lay Blaine back on the bed, all the way stretched out and knelt between his knees. 

“I thought we would begin like this. It’s the position that will give you the most control when it’s your turn and you can relax and just feel things for a bit. Ask anything you like and tell me what feels good or what doesn’t. Then, we’ll switch places and you can try a little on your own and finally we’ll lie facing one anothers bodies and do it at the same time, a sixty nine.” Kurt’s hand drifted lightly up and down Blaine’s leg as he spoke. This whole self control thing was going to take real effort. 

Blaine thought that kissing was going to be something that he got sick of eventually, when he was older, because kisses he’d seen in movies had been overdone. This, though, Blaine was sure that he could kiss Kurt forever, and that he’d never get tired of it. The way that their lips felt together, the way Kurt’s hands were never really still against him, and how Blaine could feel himself start to arch up into Kurt’s body heat to get closer, they were all things that Blaine was quickly realizing were impossible to portray accurately in movies. He was preparing to take another deep breath through the nose when Kurt’s mouth was gone from his, and Blaine’s lungs found air in sharp, needy breaths. Kurt’s lips were never far, though, dropping kisses into his neck, and his hand was trickling upward, making lazy shapes on his chest. Blaine shuddered and let his eyes flutter closed to enjoy the sensation of fingertips. 

Instead of the hand staying where it was, Blaine was jarred back to the present when Kurt was sitting him up, and he struggled to come through the fog until Kurt was undressing him. “Oh,” Blaine murmured, and giggled softly when Kurt’s nails dragged along the bottom of his stomach to grab the hem of his shirt. He reached out to touch, but Kurt was moving again, and the bed creaked and Blaine’s heart started beating faster. Kurt could do a number of things from his knees off the side of the bed, and Blaine opened his mouth to start talking the moment that he felt warm hands against his fly. “Kurt, are you—” he started, then paused to lift his hips as his pants came down. “I mean, you’re going t—Kurt.” Kurt’s mouth was hot against his boxers, and his hips jerked forward, acting entirely of their own accord as Blaine flushed dark. 

“Are you going—” He stopped again, and then gave up trying to figure out how to form words and coherent sentences. Kurt was stripping almost carelessly out of his clothes, and Blaine was sure that it was nothing less than a highly pornographic sight. He felt like he should have closed his eyes, but there was no way in hell he would let himself miss something like this. Kurt’s body was long and lean, and even though he’d seen it before, there was something different about watching someone undress. It was more…intense, Blaine decided was the right word. He swallowed, and his cock gave an eager jump when Kurt dropped his boxers and kicked them to the side. It took most of Blaine’s willpower to stay on the bed, and he was rewarded soon enough, because Kurt was pushing him against the bed again, and Blaine scrambled to let his head fall back against the pillows. 

Blaine took a deep breath and listened to what Kurt told them they were going to do. He nodded and sighed, his thigh quivering underneath the soft caress. This was real. It was going to happen. “Okay, yeah, that sounds good. Better than good. Yeah, great. I’m, um, yeah, I can do that. Okay, yeah.” The nod became more vigorous, and then he stilled, mentally preparing himself for something he had no idea about. 

Kurt hesitated only a moment, enjoying the stream of stuttering words coming out of Blaine’s mouth, and then he was crawling backwards, down the bed and settling himself between Blaine’s thighs. He kept his voice low but not too quiet as he spoke, advising Blaine as he went. “Some people like to kneel here like this.” His eyes turned up to Blaine’s and he smiled. “It’s not very comfortable for longer periods of time, so I prefer to stretch out.” He did so then, one foot hitting the floor to keep him in steady as he stretched out over the bottom of the bed. 

Then, just as he wanted Blaine to do, for control’s sake, he wrapped his hand lightly around Blaine’s dick and tugged a couple of times, teasing more than anything else. “When you’re first starting out, and whenever you want or need to, you can place your hand around the base of the cock. This does two important things. One, it keeps the cock steady, and two it makes t so that you don’t have to take n more cock than you’re ready for, see?” Kurt slid his mouth right over Blaine’s dick and gave it a couple of experimental sucks, tightening his fist as he did so. As before, Blaine tasted amazing. He had to remind himself what he was doing and pull back to look up at Blaine. His head lolled gently against Blaine’s thighs. 

“I want you to remember to just be comfortable. Do what feels good to you, okay. You can lick or suck or just slide your mouth up and down, technique comes with time, but if you’re enjoying yourself I will enjoy myself. If you aren’t enjoying yourself I want you to stop and we’ll do something else, alright?” He kissed at Blaine’s thighs then, nuzzling with his nose first the left then the right, breathing in the scent of Blaine as he did so. Then he moved to lick Blaine’s balls in long wet stripes. 

Kurt moved up, licking as he went until he was licking up and over the tip of Blaine’s cock. He listened to every sound and every word that came out of Blaine’s mouth as he drew Blaine back in and began to suck. He didn’t stay there long, it was probably only five minutes but he was so hard and Blaine was too that he was afraid if he didn’t stop they weren’t going to get on to the other portions of the lesson. 

He peppered kisses up Blaine’s hips and up his stomach until he was straddling Blaine’s hips and kissing him deep and long. When he pulled back he was nose to nose with Blaine. “Ready to switch?” He asked with a grin. 

Kurt’s explanations definitely weren’t lacking was one of the thoughts that crossed Blaine’s mind as he flushed pink. Sure, he was informative, and the questions Blaine wasn’t even sure that he had were being answered, but Blaine wasn’t used to hearing words tossed around so easily. He tripped over the smaller things, and Kurt was talking and touching, and “Ohh,” Blaine whimpered when Kurt squeezed the base of his cock and he could feel the wet heat of his mouth. Blaine’s hips shivered to stay still, but they twitched, and Blaine sighed when Kurt pulled away. 

Blaine struggled to try to keep categorized all of the information that Kurt was giving him: hold the base, lick or suck or whatever, relax, be comfortable, do what feels good, remember to put your body where you want to so it doesn’t hurt later. All of these things and more that Blaine was trying to remember were quickly fading away as Kurt stopped to demonstrate nearly all of them, and then Kurt was sucking Blaine off in earnest, and Blaine couldn’t really care to recall anything other than how to open his mouth and suck in air. Kurt’s tongue was everywhere, and Blaine blinked to keep himself present, to keep himself from ruining what was supposed to happen with Kurt’s plan. 

It seemed that Kurt had the same idea, because he was coming back up and dropping kisses everywhere and then it was Blaine’s turn. When Kurt leaned down to kiss him, Blaine lifted his hands to Kurt’s back and pulled him down to kiss him back hard, hips bucking up just once before Blaine moaned and pulled away. Blaine’s eagerness surprised himself, and he took the initiative to roll Kurt over and kiss him again before giving him a sheepish smile and nodding. “Yeah, I’m ready.” Blaine took a deep breath and slowly shifted down the bed, trailing his fingers down Kurt’s body in lieu of kisses. Sure, he was ready, but he was still nervous. Finally, he came to rest at eye level with Kurt’s cock, and tentatively, he reached a hand out to stroke it a few times before it settled into a fist around Kurt and gave an experimental kitten lick to the tip. It was hot and heavy on his tongue, and Blaine opened his mouth and started to suck on the head of Kurt’s cock. 

At first, he focused on trying new things to figure out what felt good in his mouth and what felt odd. His head started to find a rhythm, bobbing up and down as he tried to get his tongue more involved, like Kurt did to him. Blaine shifted his weight so that he was spread more evenly on the bed, moving his hand from the base of Kurt’s dick to the bed to adjust, and Blaine bobbed his head further down than he was expecting. His eyes widened as his ability to breathe disappeared, and Blaine froze for a moment until a moan ripped from his chest and Blaine was pulling off of Kurt panting. He licked his lips and swallowed, looking up at Kurt from where he was. “Kurt,” he moaned, and his voice was low and raspy as he tried to process what had just happened. 

Kurt was pleasantly surprised to have Blaine roll him over and kiss him again. It was that same enthusiasm that Blaine brought to everything else he did. Like he didn’t even think about it or take time to be embarrassed once he was really involved. He just went with what felt natural and that always went straight through Kurt. Kurt squeezed him just a little before he went slipping down the bed, fingers marking lines of want down Kurt’s body until Blaine was settled between his legs. 

He tries first to stay propped up on his elbows so he can watch Blaine, but his eyes closed the minute Blaine had his dick in hand. It was too much. The feeling of it combined with the sight of Blaine’s mouth so close and the knowledge of what was coming was all just too much. When Blaine’s tongue touched him so lightly he thought he might lose it right then. He felt all sorts of warms swoops in his belly and his stomach clenched in pleasure. When Blaine took him into his mouth, Kurt’s fingers fisted in the sheets as he fought back the feeling of fuckfuckfuckmore that had him wanting to grab Blaine’s head and force him down while Kurt fucked his perfect mouth. He held just as still as he could, groaning as Blaine worked to find what felt good to him. All of it felt fucking amazing to Kurt. 

Kurt’s head lolled on his pillow as Blaine licked and sucked his way around Kurt’s cock and he somehow managed not to come several times. He repeatedly had to remind himself that there was a plan for a reason and that Blaine’s talented mouth couldn’t distract him from it. Then Blaine was shifting around and his mouth slipped down far on Kurt’s dick. He felt his head slip into Blaine’s throat and his eyes flew open just as a moan was torn from Blaine’s mouth. Blaine was off immediately and Kurt felt certain he would have to reassure Blaine. He hadn’t expected Blaine to look so thoroughly wanton though. He practically moaned again, Kurt’s name coming out like a plea. Shit. 

He reached down and hauled Blaine up his body until he could kiss him. Blaine’s lips were slightly swollen from their efforts and Kurt knew they must tingle now and but he couldn’t be gentle. He forced his tongue into Blaine’s mouth, rolling their hips together for a few long moments. Then he pulled back and looked into Blaine’s glowing hazel eyes. “It’s okay. You’re not the only person who likes that.” 

Kurt was just a little drunk on the thought that his usually blushing bed partner liked choking on his dick. Kurt brushed his thumb over Blaine’s bottom lip, softly at first, then rubbing harder. His thumb slipped into Blaine’s mouth and massaged his tongue as he spoke. Blaine’s mouth was so hot and so wet and Kurt’s cock throbbed when he remembered what it felt like to slip into Blaine’s throat. What it felt like when Blaine moaned because of it even as he pulled off. “We should try it again, just to be sure.” 

In the seconds before Kurt pulled Blaine up to kiss him, Blaine was trying valiantly to come up with explanations in his head for what he’d done. He tried to think of some way to rationalize it to himself, and maybe to Kurt, and his face was burning, but then Kurt was kissing him and Blaine started to think that maybe it was okay. He kissed Kurt back as hard as he was kissed, whimpering and not knowing just how badly he’d needed the kiss until he got it. Blaine gasped the first time their hips came together, and then groaned at each roll after that until they were pulling apart, and he sucked in deep mouthfuls of air. 

Their eyes leveled, and Blaine didn’t want to blink or he’d miss the way that Kurt’s pupils were dilated. He looked like he wanted, and Blaine was more than willing to give, but instead was rewarded with quiet reassurance, and his heart missed a beat, but made up for it by beating at least twice as quickly when he felt the pad of Kurt’s thumb brushing across his lip. The small motion had so much feeling behind it, and Blaine’s lips parted to exhale softly. He’d planned on having something to say back, to respond to Kurt and tell him that he wanted to keep going, but then Kurt’s thumb was in his mouth. 

Blaine had put his own fingers in his mouth before. First as a child, scared and afraid and sucking on his thumb to make himself feel better. Then there was the way he bit his cuticles when he was nervous in middle school, and the countless times he’d licked his index finger to turn a page. There was even sucking his fingers to clean them after eating cake or finger foods. All of those were different, though, and paled in comparison to the feeling of having Kurt’s thumb, warm and soft, in his mouth. Blaine shivered and his cock jumped and he focused on Kurt’s thumb. First, he licked it, savoring the taste, and then he closed his mouth around it and started sucking softly. He started making soft sucking noises that quickly devolved into moans, and Blaine was sucking in earnest, feeling his dick twitch and jump. He was so into what he was doing that he almost missed Kurt’s suggestion. Almost. 

Blaine opened his mouth and nodded a few seconds after the sentence was out in the air, slowly at first and then with more enthusiasm, unable to find it in himself to be embarrassed in that moment. “Yeah,” he said, then had to clear his throat. “Yeah. Um, okay. How do you want to, um, yeah.” Blaine blinked rapidly and thought for a moment, starting to dip back down the bed, changed his mind and came back up to kiss Kurt quickly on the mouth, and then shifted back down the bed. Slowly, nerves started to set in. Sure, he’d done it once, but it had happened on accident, and Blaine wasn’t sure he could just…do it again. He took a deep breath when he was back to eye level with Kurt’s cock and closed his lips around the head, sucking up and down, lowering himself a little deeper until it happened again. He could feel tears pricking at the back of his eyes as his breathing was restricted, and then he pulled off to inhale, his breath rattling deep in his chest. Yeah, he liked it. 

“Kurt, you should, um,” Blaine started, licking his lips and looking up from where he was positioned. “If you…” His cheeks started heating up as he figured out what he was asking for. “Your hips, if you, you should, if you lift them up when I, um, then I can, I mean… Yeah.” 

Blaine was ready right away and Kurt fought the huge smile that wanted to tug his lips up. He’d rather stay focused, watching Blaine as he slid back down the bed and then up again as he grabbed one last quick kiss. Kurt marveled only for a second at the easy affection between them. Here was where they were best together, here was where they were both somehow at ease. 

Kurt stayed focused though. He needed to see that moment when it happened again, if it happened again. He wanted to be absolutely certain before he let all the other thoughts that waited around the edges of his mind come flooding in. If the pleasure in Blaine’s eyes and in his moans was really pleasure at being choked rather than just the pleasure of the unknown and surprising, well, Kurt could think of many fascinating things they could do together. 

Blaine was already so open and willing, despite bashful tendencies. Kurt knew he had a passion that matched his own. Kurt had thought that meant many night ahead of hot sex and forgetting the world around them for a while but it might mean something else too. Something he hadn’t really considered seriously despite the earlier assistance of a scarf, but Kurt wasn’t thinking about it right now. He forced himself to follow Blaine down; watching as Blaine carefully began again. 

Seeing Blaine like this, it was hard to lie still. He wanted to switch their positions so that Blaine was on his back and Kurt could kneel over his face and just fuck his mouth. Better yet Blaine could lie on his back; his head to the edge of the bed and Kurt could stand above him and fuck his throat that way. He wanted to see everything, and oh god Blaine was sucking him in again right now. 

Not knowing what he expected exactly, Kurt was surprised a little when Blaine just got right back to it, forcing Kurt’s dick down his throat after only a couple of tries. He pulled up and his wide amber eyes rolled up to meet Kurt’s and there was so much blackness in them that it shocked Kurt. He licked his lips and after a second Kurt realized what he was asking for, he wanted exactly what Kurt wanted. Fuck the plan. 

“Yeah, I can. I will, but first let’s move around a little.” Kurt pulled himself up to sitting, leaned down and kissed Blaine’s cheek softly and then swung up and off the bed. “Lay on you back for me, and put your head right here.” Kurt was standing now at the end of the bed, indicating that Blaine should turn around and lay with his feet toward the headboard. Blaine did so and Kurt coached him to scoot until his head began to hang off the end of the bed. Kurt stroked his cheek softly. “Good, good, just like that.” He murmured. Then he positioned himself so that he was lined up with Blaine’s mouth. 

“Blaine, I think this will work, but if you need me to stop just reach back and tap my leg or pinch me or something, and I’ll stop right away. Otherwise just lay very still, breath through your nose when I pull back, and swallow when I hit your throat. Understand?” 

Blaine watched the ideas that sparked behind Kurt’s eyes and felt his cheeks turn a different shade of red as his head started to come to the edge of the bed. His curls created a small cushion under his head, and Blaine took a deep breath in while he waited. His eyes watched Kurt obsessively, taking note of every move and flex that Kurt’s body made, even the ones that seemed to be unconscious. 

In his head, Blaine thought about all of the different things that he could do to please Kurt. He thought of the small things that he knew already that made Kurt’s hips jerk forward into his mouth. There was always the light touches, the way that Kurt seemed to almost let himself moan when Blaine swirled his tongue around the sides of Kurt’s shaft. Blaine thought about the way that he wanted to make Kurt finish the sounds that he seemed to start, to push further, and was taken by the idea that maybe that was what Kurt was going to have them do. His jaw started to drop open at the thought of Kurt’s cock filling his mouth, and he pushed his tongue over his lips to sigh, letting his eyes close for only a moment before they were open and watching Kurt again. 

The instructions that he was given were fairly straight-forward and simple. He nodded sharply, then smiled up at Kurt, his face contorted from being upside down, but still every bit as attractive with a bead of sweat trickling down the bob of his Adam’s apple and his hair out of place and the way that his eyes were watching him made Blaine forget exactly what it was that he was supposed to be doing. Then his cock pulsed and he remembered quickly, and frowned at the fact that he was still waiting for Kurt to come back and touch him again. 

“Yeah, yeah, okay I get it. Just…come, touch me, okay?” Blaine exhaled, surprised at how forceful the desire to have Kurt just touch him was. He tried to rationalize it by saying that he was in the midst of a sexual situation, and this is what was supposed to happen, but that reminded him of the fact that there was no permanence to their situation, something that Blaine had absolutely no desire to think about. “Please.” It was always the please that worked. 

Kurt felt just a little dizzy with power, just for a moment. Not that he didn’t think Blaine had any control here, really Blaine probably had more control than he realized. No it wasn’t that at all, it was the way Blaine looked. All open and vulnerable… helpless even, and begging, always with the please. That dizzy feeling was easy to shake off when he realized that he needed to be moving right now. 

“Okay,” he said, his voice low and thick with want. He rubbed the head of his cock over Blaine’s waiting lips, teasing for a second longer and then he was pushing in, slow and steady, watching Blaine’s face carefully. ”Open up for me, just like that,” he murmured. Kurt stroked at Blaine’s cheek again and groaned as the heat of Blaine’s mouth enveloped him all over again. His fingers swept down over Blaine’s jaw, his neck, stroking over his adam’s apple. He couldn’t wait to see what would happen in the next few moments. 

He did wait though. Kurt’s fingers pressed more firmly as he moved over Blaine’s chest. He was thrusting now, shallowly in and out of Blaine’s mouth and he could barely hold back. Blaine’s lips were stretched tight now and Kurt was ready. He stood back up straight so he could watch and then he thrust deep, slipping back down Blaine’s throat just a little as he did so. 

There, just as he’d imagined, just for a second, he could see the head of his dick in Blaine’s throat. Fuck he loved this position and Blaine was just made for it. He slid right back out, giving Blaine a moment to breathe again and then he pushed forward again, this time further still and watched in fascination as the outline of his cock became visible on Blaine’s throat. 

“Fuck,” he swore softly. ”You’re so good, so fucking good, Blaine.” Then he leaned forward and wrapped his fist around Blaine’s hard cock as he thrust in and out of his mouth. 

The very second that Blaine felt Kurt’s cock on his lips, Blaine’s mouth opened, responding partially on instinct, and partially on Kurt’s request to open, not just for himself, but for Kurt. He swallowed a swell of pride at the groan that he’d managed to garner from Kurt and relished the feel of the warm, heavy weight of Kurt’s cock in his mouth. From the position he was in, he didn’t really have a way to move himself deeper or to control how much was given to him and when, but Blaine was having trouble keeping still, or quiet, for that matter. 

Every time Kurt pulled his hips back, Blaine was moaning, or sighing, the sound of spit slick as he tried to keep as much of Kurt’s cock in his mouth as he could. When Kurt pulled back, though, Blaine had no option but to leave his mouth open, arching his back to entice Kurt to come back quickly, deeper, faster. His wish was granted moments later, when Kurt stood all the way back up. Blaine initially thought to protest the action, because his chest was cold without Kurt’s hands, warm and lithe, running over it, but then he could feel the fullness in the back of his throat. Tears pricked in the back of his eyes for a moment, unprepared for it the first time from this angle, but he recovered quickly, taking a deep breath through his nose and whining as Kurt pulled away. 

Blaine had just enough time to almost clear his throat and take another breath before Kurt was back, deeper, and Blaine could feel the way his body cried to be able to breathe and the contrast in the heat that shot straight to his groin. Kurt’s compliments bolstered Blaine’s confidence, and he lifted his hands, first to pull them around Kurt’s waist and bring him closer, but when Kurt’s hand was wrapping around his dick and pumping in time to his thrusts, Blaine’s hands stayed. First, they tightened around Kurt’s waist, then trickled downward, feeling the soft, sloping curves of Kurt’s hips and butt. 

Blaine’s hands froze for a moment, trying to decide what they were doing where they were, but his head was swimming in a wave of mass euphoria, and the logic he thought he’d possessed earlier that day was gone. Instead of bringing his hands back down to his sides, Blaine let his hands feel softly, groping the soft flesh of Kurt’s ass. His stomach quivered and his hips stuttered forward into Kurt’s palm as he realized that from this angle, he could prompt Kurt to move deeper. 

Belatedly, Blaine realized that his fingers were feeling closer together, and he could feel where the part in his cheeks sloped in and downward. Blaine blinked quickly, and his fingers moved more slowly, but didn’t stop. Instead, they moved more lightly downward, punctuated by a whimper that he wasn’t sure came from himself or Kurt. 

Blaine’s mouth was something Kurt thought he could never get enough. Really that was probably any part of Blaine, but right now he was very focused on the wet warmth of Blaine’s mouth. The feel of his mouth, the sounds he made. There were delicious noises that stuttered out of Blaine’s mouth each time Kurt drew back, and they were the only thing really reminding Kurt to give Blaine that couple of seconds to breathe. Otherwise he’d surely lose that little thread of control he had left and pound into that tightness that closed around his dick with each thrust of his hips. 

His throat opened and fluttered and Blaine swallowed around him so fucking perfectly that Kurt was getting lost in the feeling. His eyes squeezed close and he pumped his hand out sync with his hips because he was that wrecked already. He was supposed to be watching Blaine, keeping a close eye on him and making sure he wasn’t being pushed too far. Instead Kurt was having to trust that if Blaine got overwhelmed he would tap out, or find some other way to let Kurt know. 

As it was now, Kurt couldn’t see his face, the face he was busy fucking. He was too busy nuzzling against the softness of Blaine’s belly, mouthing against muscle and course hair and basically losing himself in sensation. Little broken moans spilling from his lips as he went. Blaine’s hands brought him back from that lost place, very suddenly. 

Kurt whimpered at the gentle brush of fingertips along his ass. It was such a vivid counterpoint to the intensity of fucking into Blaine’s mouth that it shocked him and sent shivers racing up and down his spine. Without thinking he inch forward and dropped his mouth over Blaine’s cock, sucking him down fast and hard and pressing out with his ass, offering permission for whatever Blaine wanted. 

Blaine had no idea that the gentle touches down Kurt’s waist to his ass would lead to the chorus of sounds and shivers that he was graced with. Or that in the few seconds it took him to catch his breath, Kurt would be over and on top of him, mouth hot and quick on his cock. Blaine sucked in a breath of shocked air and pulled away from Kurt’s dick. “Kurt, God, Kurt!” He faltered for a moment, toes curling as he thought it would be over then and there, but then his ability to breathe came back and Blaine opened his eyes, not remembering that he’d even closed them. 

When he could focus again, Blaine gave a very thorough look to the situation in front of him. Kurt’s ass was sitting pert and wanton in front of his face, and Blaine was inches from it. His mind jumped back to the first time he and Kurt had been together, to the way Kurt’s tongue had felt inside of him, and felt his entire face burn. Kurt would teach him about that later, Blaine was sure. Instead, Blaine took Kurt back into his mouth for a moment, letting his hands continue to make small, aimless shapes and patterns; triangles turned into circles on the left cheek and squares and diamonds and swirls on the right, until Blaine let Kurt slip from his mouth again. 

He pressed a slow, tentative kiss to the back of Kurt’s thigh, then, emboldened by the quivering of the muscle, moved higher until he was kissing a line up the right side of Kurt’s ass. The left continued to be toyed with, soft fingers turning into a firmer grip. Blaine had to pause in the administration of his kisses for a moment when Kurt did something with his lips and tongue that he thought was absolutely mind-blowing, leaving hot, panting breaths against the wet kisses. “Kurt, I feel,” he started, then stopped, shaking his head and groaning in something that was almost frustration, but so much more than that. One of his hands came down to stroke Kurt’s dick slowly, and he arched his back, unsure of what exactly was going to happen next. 

Blaine needed to come. He could feel it from the way that his fingers and toes were slowly going numb and everything he felt was concentrated just underneath his belly button. There was just one problem. “Kurt, I don’t…I feel like I’m…but I don’t want…in your…mouth…” Blaine inhaled and sighed, and his entire stomach shook on the exhale. He didn’t mind if Kurt came in his mouth; he’d tasted it earlier, and was quite convinced that it was a taste he could live with. He didn’t, however, know if Kurt thought the same thing, and he had no idea what the proper etiquette was to let someone know that you were about to have an orgasm. 

Kurt liked to think he was experienced. He knew how to please his conquests, because what good was it if they left unsatisfied? He also knew how to get exactly what he himself wanted. In many ways sex had become sadly like a series of mechanic movements, like ticking off a list. Push this button, then push that one. Then come. It was often efficient though it did it’s job. He got off, which was the point of course, but a lot of the time it was just so mindless that he forgot it as soon as it was over. So then it was on to the next, and the next, one boy’s face blurring in to the next. Or one boy’s ass really. 

Blaine was different though. Kurt wasn’t anywhere near ready to consider all the ways that was true but there was one glaringly obvious way that he was different. He never failed to surprise Kurt. Which was exactly what he was doing right now. Kurt had hoped that maybe Blaine would tease him some more, but he hadn’t expected to suddenly feel the little kisses, the soft kneading hands. Blaine’s tiniest caress set him aflame and it was enough to make Kurt slip down hard and fast on Blaine’s dick nearly gagging on it as it hit his throat and really where had all his finesse suddenly gone? 

Fuck, it still didn’t feel like enough though. He wanted to make Blaine writhe some more, he wanted to feel Blaine come apart at the seams, he wanted Blaine screaming out his climax and he wanted to know that he was that he was the only one that could do that. Or… Kurt couldn’t think about that last bit so he swallowed Blaine down once more before pulling back to actually answer the soft pleas coming from between his thighs. 

His fingers swept over Blaine’s quivering stomach, softly. ”Want to taste you, Blaine,” he said, his voice scratchy and raw sounding in his ears. Then he dipped back down, and sucked Blaine back into his mouth. This time it was all tight, pure suction, as he slid down and back up, cheeks hollow, mouth aching from the strain. He wanted it so bad he was trembling with need. He needed Blaine to come. It was like a revelation. 

Hearing Kurt’s voice in conjunction with the soft fingers that dipped into the curve of his stomach sent Blaine over the edge. His mind shot signals through his head that knowing Kurt wanted the same thing he did, and then went blank in the span of time it took to take a breath. On the exhale, Blaine came. The muscles of his fingers flexed and tensed, and the muscles of his chest contracted. He opened his mouth, finding it difficult to do anything but focus on the way that Kurt’s mouth felt around him while he came. He could feel the way that his own come was filling Kurt’s mouth, and the way that Kurt’s mouth worked around his cock to swallow and continue to suck. 

Belatedly, Blaine had the presence of mind to roll his lips back down on Kurt’s cock, eyes slipping closed at the blissful feeling of heavy warmth in his mouth in the midst of orgasm. His entire body shuddered, wanting to know how it would feel when Kurt came, to taste and swallow. Blaine’s mind quickly jumped to what it would be like to kiss Kurt afterward, but then quickly tried to jump to staying and talking, which was against the rules. Blaine forced himself to focus again, letting a deep, low moan rumble in his throat as he stopped coming. “Kurt,” he murmured from his chest, sucking harder and letting his dick come up against the back of his throat. The pricking sensation behind his eyes was almost immediate, but he breathed through his nose, like Kurt had told him, and stayed. 

In the span of time before Kurt came and Blaine took a breath, he could feel the pulling sensation deep in his gut that told him that the idea of choking was something that would have to be explored later. He took the information and filed it away as something to think about a lot further down the line, when maybe Kurt had rubbed off on him enough to make talking about such delicate subjects that much easier. 

When Kurt came, Blaine could feel the pulse of his cock on his tongue before the first rope hit his tongue and ricocheted across the insides of his cheek. Blaine pulled back enough to try to accommodate the come in his mouth, but still found himself overwhelmed. Whether it was the way that Kurt tasted so good, or that it was so warm and so not what Blaine was expecting, Blaine had taken on more than he knew he could. As a result, a small trail of come slipped down from the side of his lip and down his chin. Blaine pulled his arm back to swipe at it with his thumb, which was then licked and cleaned. 

Blaine sighed long and deep as his entire body relaxed post-orgasm, but something in his brain told him that he had to move and find a more comfortable position before he could really relax. From underneath Kurt, Blaine started to squirm, slow and lazy. “I want to see you, Kurt,” he whispered, just loud enough for Kurt to hear him. He hoped that Kurt missed the little bit of desperation that colored his tone, or mistook it for first time jitters or something, but it was out there. 

Hot come spurting into his mouth was probably one of Kurt’s favorite things, but Blaine’s come was even better. Kurt felt drunk as he swallowed and swallowed, his mouth going a little slack and his head spinning just a tiny bit. It was so filled with nerve tingling pleasure that his own orgasm slipped up on him and took him by surprise. One moment he was focused purely on sucking down every last drop Blaine had to offer, and the next he was going up on his toes, his leg muscles taut as he came into Blaine’s eager mouth. 

He didn’t really stop and think much about it, though maybe he should have. He’d gone into the evening with plans and guidelines and clear boundaries and Blaine had taken them slowly apart. Kurt did have a second where he wondered if Blaine had any idea the kinds of things he did to him. 

That thought passed quickly because the duel sensation of swallowing Blaine’s come and feeling Blaine swallow around his dick was a heady thing and Kurt spun out with it, shuddering, shaking on top of Blaine. It took a lot of effort to let Blaine’s cock slip from his mouth and then Kurt didn’t let it get far. He wanted to lick it and suckle the head some more and feel Blaine twitch with over sensitivity. 

He lay there, trying not to completely crush Blaine, but knowing he was failing as he nestled against the Blaine’s hip, his softening cock less than an inch away. Kurt knew he had to move, but it he also knew he could happily stay put a good deal longer. It was Blaine’s quiet plea that made him move finally. He pushed himself up slowly and then edged back until he was standing and no longer straddling Blaine. 

“Up you go,” he told Blaine softly. He reached down and supported Blaine’s head and then his shoulders as he sat up. Without much thought to it at all, Kurt climbed up on the bed with him and shifted them around until they could both lay comfortably. He had no intention of really cuddling with Blaine but he didn’t think it was right to make Blaine move after hanging upside down for so long on top of that fantastic blowjob he’d given Kurt. 

He reached over and patted at Blaine’s leg with a sigh. ”You doing okay, Blaine? I’ve got some water I’ll get us as soon as I think I can walk.” Kurt rolled his head over on the pillow so he could look at Blaine and then without thinking he reached forward and traced Blaine’s bright red, swollen lip with his finger.

As Kurt pulled Blaine up, the first real thought that shot through his mind wasn’t of wanting to sit in the warmth of Kurt’s arms for as long as he was allowed to. That wasn’t even the second thing on his list of thoughts. The first thought was about how he ended up here, learning how Kurt liked his blowjobs, in the first place. Sure, there was an unmistakable sexual tension between them, but until recently, that had been nothing more than misplaced anger and fear. Then, everything came to a boil because they had yelled at each other in the library? Blaine frowned for a second before he pulled up to Kurt and let himself sink into his arms.

The ends of Blaine’s hair rested in wisps and tendrils on Kurt’s chest and arm, and he curled close into Kurt’s side before nodding. “I’m okay. I don’t think I need water really,” Blaine heard himself say. His mind was still trying to deny the conclusion it had reached about why Blaine had agreed to any of this ridiculous whatever it was in the first place. “That was really…” he began, trying to force the thoughts from his head. Then, there was a lone finger at his lips, and Blaine froze in the process of remembering that he was in the middle of a sentence.

His first reaction was to kiss the tip of Kurt’s finger, and then instinct told him that if he pulled the finger into his mouth, he could stay with Kurt for just a little bit longer. Instead, Blaine let his head fall back against the bed. “…hot.” And then he could deny it no longer. No matter what he was supposed to do, or that Kurt wasn’t supposed to mean anything more to Blaine than a sex partner of sorts, Blaine couldn’t resist the fact that he, somewhere almost close to the surface, had some sort of non-violent, mostly non-sexual, and particularly un-fearful feelings for Kurt.  
And it scared the shit out of him.

Blaine cleared his throat and sat up slowly, running fingers through the tangles that had accumulated in his hair in the process of the night. “I should go. I’ve got… homework,” he finished lamely, looking around for his clothes. He spotted his slacks, but his underwear didn’t seem to be in sight. Blaine swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood, exhaling a sharp breath to clear his thoughts while he looked for his briefs. “You should, um, I mean, we can text. Or something. If you want. I just…yeah.” Blaine paused and turned to Kurt, face bright red and hot. “Have you seen my underwear?”

It was a simple thing to let his arms wind over Blaine’s back and to pull him close. It would have felt natural. Kurt was practically boneless now as it was, he was warm and relaxed and utterly sated. He didn’t though. He let his hands fall to his sides in one final act of self control, whatever was left of it anyway. 

Blaine seemed to be having a similar response. He didn’t want the water and he didn’t really want to lay there either. That was the way it should be, Kurt reminded himself. They had an agreement now didn’t they? They had rules? Why he should have to remind himself of these things was another matter all together and one he didn’t care to toil over in his post orgasmic haze of bliss. Unfortunately Blaine’s stuttered mentions of leaving and homework still threatened to ruin the spell altogether. 

Kurt decided not to move. He let his eyes slip shut so he wouldn’t have to watch Blaine as he gathered his things and left. Which was as it should be, Kurt reiterated silently. “Sure, yeah,” he contributed to the conversation with minimal interest. If Blaine could just be dressed and gone, Kurt could have his water, or whatever other beverage he might choose at this point, for instance the vodka under his bed. He could have a shower and wash away the sweat and the smell of Blaine, the delicious taste of him, and go about his evening, quietly and in peace. Maybe he would just find somewhere else to be entirely instead.

“I have no idea, Blaine,” he grouched just a little and then he gave in, opened his eyes, and sat up. He leaned over the bed and sure enough, they were underneath, toward the end. Kurt slid from the bed on somewhat sturdier feet and crouched down to grab them. Then he quirked an eyebrow at Blaine and held them out.

“I will text you,” he said, firmly. “You can count on it,” he grinned just a little.


	16. Interlude: Aim Chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several weeks go by and one night Blaine and Kurt run into each other on aim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can completely skip this, the only reason it's included is to help ease into the next chapter, however it isn't necessary to enjoy the story.

**b. anderson:**  
Hey, Kurt!

 **k. hummel:**  
brb phone but also hi

 **b. anderson:**  
You're so popular :b

 **k. hummel:**  
lol, always.  
  
Okay I'm here. How are you?

 **b. anderson:**  
I'm actually pretty good.  
  
How about you?

 **k. hummel:**  
Pretty good, can't complain. Just busier than I normally like.

 **b. anderson:**  
What's got you busy?

 **k. hummel:**  
mostly class. I'm over all these papers. I feel like my finger tips are sore from all the typing.

 **b. anderson:**  
Aw, come on. It's not that bad, is it? Besides, at least you're writing about things you like.

 **k. hummel:**  
I guess. Uhg. I don't like word limits though.

 **b. anderson:**  
I know how you feel. Sometimes 1,000 words max just isn't enough.

 **k. hummel:**  
and sometimes 3600 is too much. lol

 **b. anderson:**  
Very, very true indeed.

 **k. hummel:**  
Where have you been keeping your self? I'm not the only busy these days.

 **b. anderson:**  
Oh, well, yeah. I, uh.  
  
Library, mostly.  
  
And Peter and I, my roommate, we're in the same Chem class. So we study together sometimes in my room.  
  
But I'm trying to test out of chem so I can take a senior's Psych class instead.  
  
And, um  
  
Parties?  
  
Well, a party. Singular. Once.  
  
I've been waiting for you to text me, but then when you didn't I decided I should start, I dunno, filling my schedule with stuff. Other than your room.  
  
Not to say I don't like time in your room. Just, we haven't seen each other. In a while.

Yeah.

 **k. hummel:**  
Yeah, it has been a while hasn't it? A party huh? Well, that's good then.  
  
I should have texted you, I wanted to.

 **b. anderson:**  
Yeah, yeah. The party...  
  
Denice said I should talk to you about that.  
  
I was going to text you, when you didn't. But I didn't know if I should.  
  
You remember how you and Alex don't get along so well?

 **k. hummel:**  
Uh yeah, it's not something I would forget, I can assure you.

 **b. anderson:**  
Right.  
  
Well  
  
You know, maybe I shouldn't be telling you this.

 **k. hummel:**  
No, sorry, go ahead, shit, I haven't talked to you in forever, and now I'm curious anyway.

 **b. anderson:**  
just, don't be mad, okay?

 **k. hummel:**  
Okay... I won't be mad at you but I can't promise I won't be mad at anyone else. What happened, did someone do something to you?

 **b. anderson:**  
ugh

 **k. hummel:**  
Blaine, please, you're freaking me out.

 **b. anderson:**  
Don't freak out, okay? It's not freak out worthy  
  
Alex, he's in my math study group and he invited me to a party with him and I went, okay?

 **k. hummel:**  
okay

 **b. anderson:**  
Oh, god. Denice was so not right. I shouldn't tell you this.  
  
You're going to kill me.  
  
Either me or him.  
  
Or both of us.

 **k. hummel:**  
I'm not, okay? I promised not to be mad at you.

 **b. anderson:**  
It was stupid. It was a mistake.

 **k. hummel:**  
Fuck, I'm going to come over there if you don't get out with it.

 **b. anderson:**  
I, God, Alex told me to eat a brownie they were passing around the room and I did  
  
Well, not just the brownie. It was a whole bag of them  
  
And they were, um.... they had marijuana in them.

 **k. hummel:**  
And you did eat one? And then what happened?

 **b. anderson:**  
Well, technically I only ate half of one.  
  
But it was, um, I guess...I mean, it was good? But bad. And it was illegal.  
  
I just...afterward we stayed for like an hour.

 **k. hummel:**  
But you're okay? Everything was okay and nothing bad happened to you?  
  
I just mean...  
  
Why were you worried to tell me that?

 **b. anderson:**  
No, nothing bad. I got scared that I was gonna get caught. So I made Alex take me back to my room.  
  
I was scared you were going to be mad at me.  
  
For being stupid. And not asking what was in them.  
  
And also because I liked it.

 **k. hummel:**  
Blaine.  
  
First of all, no matter what else is going on with us, I don't feel like I own you. At least, lol, not outside the bedroom. Secondly,  
  
while I'd like to think that you are being careful, we've talked about being careful right? I don't have a real problem with you having fun without me. You may as well, right? I do, without you, sometimes. I'm kind of interested, really, to hear what you liked about it, and to know if that's something that maybe you and I can explore together some time.

 **b. anderson:**  
Did Denice talk to you?  
  
She swore she wouldn't.

 **k. hummel:**  
No, she didn't, you told Denice about all of this?

 **b. anderson:**  
Um, yeah? I was afraid about the fact that I liked it because it was illegal. And she knows you pretty well. So I was trying to figure out if I should tell you or not. Plus, it was Alex and I was worried you were going to be mad at him.  
  
And, also, I don't do bad things.  
  
I was, am, scared that me not hating every second of it is going to make you want to have me do other stuff. Like drink. And I don't want to do that.  
  
At least, not until I'm 21

 **k. hummel:**  
Well, yeah I mean Alex is a real asshole, I don't like to think about what his motivations were for getting you high, but Blaine, you may not do "bad" things, but you know I do. I'm not going to jump on you about that, I think you have that covered for the both of us.  
  
I would never force anything on you, Blaine.

 **b. anderson:**  
Sorry. I'm sorry.  
  
I'm just overreacting.

 **k. hummel:**  
Okay, just... breathe. We're good okay?

 **b. anderson:**  
It's what Peter calls "projecting." He says I do it a lot. I'm mad at me so I assume other people are going to be mad at me, too.  
  
I probably do it a lot without realizing it.  
  
Right, breathing. Thank you for not being upset?

 **k. hummel:**  
I'm not upset. Not even a little, though I do think I need to do a better job communicating with you. I think it's the way we started things off. We need to find a balance of some sort. Because even if I'm not hanging out with you in public, I want you to trust at least enough to know you can tell me things like that.

 **b. anderson:**  
What? That I did it or that I didn't hate it?  
  
And if you mean going to a party  
  
I don't do it often enough to really think it's something I have to get used to telling you stuff.  
  
Plus, you never tell me anything about what you do or where you go? Why should I do any different?

 **k. hummel:**  
No, I just mean, anything, you can't be scared of me. Afraid I'll be mad all the time. Whatever, you don't have to tell me anything it's not that, it's the being afraid part I don't like.

 **b. anderson:**  
I'm working on it.

 **k. hummel:**  
You're afraid of me?

 **b. anderson:**  
No!  
  
No  
  
Not you.  
  
I just...back before I was here, at Dalton, my grandfather and I.  
  
Well, he didn't like when I messed up. And I messed up a lot.  
  
According to him, at least.  
  
So I don't like telling people when I do something that isn't...good.  
  
But I'm working on it.

 **k. hummel:**  
He sounds like an asshole, Blaine. You've pretty much mastered that perfectly polite school boy thing. And shit. No wonder you... fuck Blaine. I wish I'd known that before... but I'm just not... We can do better, okay? You work on you and I'll work on not being so fucking intimidating. I like what we do, you know? I like it.

 **b. anderson:**  
You would know if we actually talked, Kurt. I like what we do, too. But we don't talk.  
  
Scratch that.  
  
You don't talk.  
  
I talk all the time.  
  
But you never tell me anything.  
  
Sorry.  
  
You don't have to tell me anything.  
  
It's your life.

 **k. hummel:**  
I know. I know I do that. I don't really, I don't even know when that became a thing I do. Don't apologize okay? This is ... maybe one of those conversations we should have had a long time ago.

 **b. anderson:**  
We don't have to have this onversation. Really, we don't. Not right now. I haven't talked to you in a while. We don't have to be serious right now. The only reason I even brought it up was because Denice, she said that I should tell you because I liked it. And because it made me feel mostly good.  
  
You see? This is what happens when I try to do anything remotely close to "sexy." I end up making the conversation go a thousand different ways from the way it went in my head.

 **k. hummel:**  
Yeah, I'm not trying to make this a big deal it doesn't have to be, I'm just going to say this one thing and then we can talk about whatever. I'll see what I can do about, maybe be a little more open, okay? And yeah I like to get high so it makes sense that Denice would tell you that. But I would never press you into doing it again unless you wanted to.  
  
It's okay, we can move on if you like. See we can talk, I'm talking.

 **b. anderson:**  
I'm trying to take the guilt out of the situation. Because I think I did like it.

 **k. hummel:**  
I think that's a good start.

 **b. anderson:**  
Except for when I got scared we were going to get caught, it was good. I was, um, fuzzy like in my brain.

 **k. hummel:**  
And relaxed?  
  
I get this loose feeling all over.

 **b. anderson:**  
Yeah. I almost felt floaty?  
  
And I wanted to touch. Stuff.  
  
Everything, really.

 **k. hummel:**  
Yeah, that's part of what I like. Touching gets really happy.

 **b. anderson:**  
Alex let me play with his hair for a while.  
  
But his hair is short, and kind of weird.

 **k. hummel:**  
I'm sure he did. hahaha. Yeah it is.

 **b. anderson:**  
Your hair would be nice.  
  
It's soft.

 **k. hummel:**  
Is that your way of saying this is somehting I can look forward to someday?

 **b. anderson:**  
I kind of, yes?  
  
I might want to try it again. But only if it's with you.  
  
Not at a party.

 **k. hummel:**  
I think that sounds like a fantastic idea, Blaine Anderson.

 **b. anderson:**  
I'm just worried about one thing.

 **k. hummel:**  
What's that?

 **b. anderson:**  
When me and Alex were at the party, my heart started beating really fast and I thought someone was going to find me. Even though we were being quiet.  
  
And even when I was in my room, I thought I would get caught.

 **k. hummel:**  
Well, let me work on that, okay? Maybe there's some way to get off campus a bit? Or... maybe we can just talk about doing it for now. You getting paranoid is sort of the last thing I want to happen if we do this. It's all about being relaxed and floaty and... yeah we can work on it.

 **b. anderson:**  
The feeling? That's normal?  
  
Because Alex was laughing at me when I told him I was scared.

 **k. hummel:**  
Lots of people get paranoid when they're doing something like that. He's an ass. He probably pissed himself with fright the first time he broke the rules.

 **b. anderson:**  
Do you? Get paranoid?

 **k. hummel:**  
I don't now, but I did, the first time I got high I begged to stay at my friend's house so my dad wouldn't see me. I was sure he would know just by looking at me, lol.

 **b. anderson:**  
If it was just us, do you think I'd be okay?

 **k. hummel:**  
Maybe. We could... we could just lock my door and stay in all night. On a weekend night. No one would bother us. Or if that's too much I know a few choice spots throughout the grounds here...

 **b. anderson:**  
That sounds...kind of nice, actually. Except not the outdoors, roaming the grounds of Dalton at night part. I've never really been a good "nature" person. Especially at night.

 **k. hummel:**  
Okay, my room it is then, I'll even provide some choice junk food items and we'll make a night of it. You can bring some music that's really chill for you too.

 **b. anderson:**  
Wait, so does that mean I could stay the night?

 **k. hummel:**  
Well, just... I was thinking sending you out after getting you high, and after promising to try and make things safer feeling? It just seemed... you should just stay that night.

 **b. anderson:**  
No, yeah, thanks for that. It's only one night. Not a big deal.

 **k. hummel:**  
Right, I mean, we can totally make that a thing, you know? Like, if we're going to smoke, you'll stay. It just makes sense. Logically.

 **b. anderson:**  
Um, yeah.  
  
Sorry. I'm internally freaking out a little bit.  
  
I've never actually smoked before.  
  
Is that...doesn't that smell?  
  
More.  
  
Than food, I guess.  
  
Er, yeah. I have no idea what I'm saying.  
  
For the "I can get kicked out of school if I get caught doing this" thing.  
  
I know we won't. Get caught. And then in trouble. And expelled. I know we won't.

 **k. hummel:**  
I won't let that happen to you. Nope.

 **b. anderson:**  
Sorry, it's a reflex.  
  
Hey, Kurt? What are you supposed to do after we do this?  
  
I mean, what do people normally do after?

 **k. hummel:**  
After we get high?

 **b. anderson:**  
Yeah, that.

 **k. hummel:**  
Well, all sorts of things really, it will depend on how we feel. This may not make a whole lot of sense, but it's not always the same. It's always good for me, but it's not always the same. Sometimes, the touching, leads to other things. I think we'd both enjoy that. But a few times it's led to me sprawled over my bed listening to music and feeling it in my bones. I've also laughed so hard I cried. Like for hours. And it felt fantastic. Whatever we do, we'll have fun, I'm sure.

 **b. anderson:**  
No, it makes sense that it's not the same every time, I think. Everything is situational. I think, no matter what happens, it'll be good, then. Especially with you. If it's doing nothing or other stuff, that sounds...nice  
  
Actually nice, the dictionary definition, you know? Pleasant.

 **k. hummel:**  
I think so. So I'll see you for dinner Friday, okay?

 **b. anderson:**  
Right, yes. See you at dinner. Friday


End file.
